I Am Overpowered And A Comedian In Another World-Chapter 103: Use Condoms Or You’ll Summon Me

I looked around my cell.

It was dark but the fire torches hanging outside gave just enough light for me to see the surroundings.

The cell was not that big but it surely was big enough to accommodate more than two people just like the vagina of a veteran prostitute.

I looked around every corner but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find them.

Erect and Sexis.

They weren’t with me.

Did the System lie to me?

I can understand not seeing Sexis in the dark because of his skin color, but I should be able to see Erect. He was a handsome bright young man. Like the male model who features in condom ads. Though, Sexis could also feature in such ads to spread awareness about the importance of condoms. Like— Use condoms if you don’t want a child like me.

Anyway, after searching for a minute or two, I didn’t find them. They weren’t here.

I was alone in my cell.

The system bastard. How can he li—

[ I didn’t lie, you bastard. You didn’t even heard my full message and started searching for them. ]

’You can hear my internal monologue?’ I asked.

[ Yes. I have told you this before too. I can hear everything you say. And why do you even narrate everything you do? Who talks like that? ]

’You won’t get it. I have to narrate everything. It’s a matter of making a living out of it.’

[ Angh. Do you want to know what happened to you or not? And be serious while I talk. Got it? ]

’Alright. Yes. I want to know. Tell me everything. I will try to be serious, just like siblings try to not play together in Alabama.’

[ ... Good.. good for you. Now listen. After the Supreme Man kind of died, a golden light had shot out from his eyes. And that golden light did some things. ]

’Things like?’

[ The light had gone inside you and you became unconscious right there and then because of the backlash of the God of War skill. But that light wasn’t the only thing that went inside you. ]

I gulped. ’What else went inside me? Did Malthus try to use me while I was fainted? Did he pay me for that or not?’

[ ... No. Malthus did nothing to you. The Supreme Man had lost half of his divinity when Malthus ripped one of his hands. But before Malthus could rip his second hand, the Supreme Man sent his remaining divinity to you which healed your wounds, revived and healed Erect and Sexis, and teleported you to this prison building. And today, you finally woke up. ]

’Oh. So the Supreme Man helped me even in his last moments. What a God. Wait—Did you say I finally woke up today? How many days has it been since the war? And am I still in Moral? Moral had a prison building like this? Since when? And if I am teleported here, didn’t the guards here get to know that a prisoner appeared out of nowhere inside a cell? And where the hell is Erect and Sexis?’

[ ... You never passed any type of exams, did you? ]

’Why, yes. How do you know that?’

[ Because you can only ask long questions instead of answers, you dumb shit! ]

’Don’t get angry, man. I was in the middle of a war, my grandma was hurt, I lost my friends, then my ribcage was exposed for the whole world to see, and I saw a God dying in front of my eyes, and when I thought I would die, I woke up in this mediaeval era cell that looks like it is made to capture and kill scientists who made cars that could run on water instead of petrol. I couldn’t have anything but questions right now.’

[ Fine. Fine. I understand. I will answer one by one now. After Malthus killed the Supreme Man and you went conscious, you were instantly teleported here by the Supreme Man and today you woke up after three months. ]

’Yeah. Right. Three months. As if I would believe it.’

[ Three months it is. ]

’Stop joking, man.’

[ I never joke. Especially not to someone who is a joke himself. ]

’... So are you telling me that I have been asleep like a husband in a porn video that somehow doesn’t wake up even when his wife is getting railed, moaning her lungs out right next to him on the same damn couch?’

[ Er... Yeah. Something like that. Yes. ]

’Holy shit. Three months is too much. Some amnesiacs would kill to get in my place.’

[ Feel the shock later. First listen to me more. ]

’Okay?.’

[ You are still in Moral. This is the prison the Supreme Man had built when he was creating this world. This prison is situated under the ground and it was used to store criminals and problematic people. ]

’I see. So this prison is ancient. That’s why so many flies are roaming around here. And the smell is nose wrenching too.’

[ Actually, the flies and the stench isn’t because of the prison being ancient. ]

My heart skipped a beat. ’Then?’

[ Don’t worry it’s nothing to be scared about. ]

’Oh. It’s fine then.’ I heaved a sigh of relief.

[ The stench and flies are only because of the dead body in the corner of your cell. ]

’...’

Motherfuc—

Dead body corner what?

I dashed for the center of the cell, as far away as possible from the corners.

’Da fuck did you say? You told me it’s nothing to be scared about. What’s a dead body doing here of all things?’

I wasn’t able to see anything in the corners of the cell as it was dark but now the stench was evident. I couldn’t unsmell it anymore. And unsmell isn’t even a word! I am losing my mind!

[ Stop overreacting, man. It’s just a dead body. It won’t do you anything. It’s dead. ]

’... Oh. Sorry for overreacting. It’s just a dead body. Of course it’s normal. Haha.’

[ Yeah, man. That’s what I am tal— ]

’Like hell I would calm down. Just because it’s dead doesn’t mean I won’t be scared. I was escorting a girl once at night so that she could reach home safely and during that, when I walked past a graveyard, I heard a whisper just beside my ear. I shit my pants right there and then. I thought a dead body woke up and started talking to me. Good thing it was just a cop whom the girl called herself to make me stop escorting her. But you got the point, right? I am not good with dead bodies.’

[ I understand. But you have to make peace with it. And seriously, that is only a dead body, it won’t do you anything and you have to agree with me on this. So just calm down. ]

I sighed.

Whether I like it or not, the system is right. A dead body won’t do anything to me. It’s dead.

So in the end...

’Fine. You are right. It’s just a dead body. It can’t even move, much less do anything to me.’

[ That’s like a brave man. You get it. The dead body won’t do anything. ]

’Yeah. I get it alright. It won’t do anything.’

[ Yes. Yes. It won’t do anything. ]

’Geez. I get it. It won’t do anything.’

[ True. True. It won’t do shit. ]

’That’s right. It won’t do anything. The dead body won’t do anything.’

"Yeah, bro. I won’t do anything. Chill out."

’Hmm? You changed your voice, system?’

[ ... That wasn’t me. ]

"It was me, dude. You were talking about me, right? I won’t do anything."

I shifted my gaze at the right corner of the cell.

The coldness I was feeling in the cell intensified and now I know the reason behind it as well.

I gulped, staring at the corner of the cell. But I wasn’t just staring at the corner. Heck, I wasn’t even staring at the corner. I was staring at something else.

Something that also met my gaze and waved:

"What’s up, roomie?"

And once again, my butt remembered the terror of that graveyard.

I shit my pants.

This chapter is updat𝙚d by f(r)eew𝒆bn(o)vel.com