I Will Be the Greatest Knight-Chapter 256: Her Best Friend

Irene stood up from where she had been eating as well. Surprisingly, Felix offered his hand, silently requesting the bowl from her. She almost hesitated to give it to him, wondering silently if it was because he was being strangely chivalrous towards her after discovering her secret.

But she considered how close they were before everything seemed to have fallen apart, and she realized if there was someone she shouldn’t doubt, it was Felix. If she wanted to go on as normal, she needed to meet him halfway.

Her bowl was in his hands, and he brought it to the kitchen. She noticed he never went beyond the small hallway that acted as a doorway. It was clearly a place he hoped to never set his eyes on again.

At the thought, she had to turn and leave, or she felt as if she would get emotional.

The girl sought her father, and, with some strange sort of paternal instinct, he met her eyes almost right away. She nodded at him once. It was all he needed to know that the situation she was going into wasn´t one that needed to be read into further.

He trusted his daughter. He trusted Felix as well.

However, Arthur silently agonized over things he never thought he would have to worry about when Irene became insistent on upholding the secret of her gender. People were going to misconstrue the way she interacted with others from that point forward. After all, they lived in a society where men and women seldom were friends.

Since he saw no other knights or apprentices seeming to think twice over Irene leaving with Felix, he decided he would pay it no more mind after that.

When Irene was in the hallway and soon joined by Felix, she wordlessly walked towards the back entrance as she always had before. Their going on rides didn´t need to be described or explained. They always did the same things.

Of course, the only difference was who the two of them had wound up after the war.

Surprisingly, it was Irene as a girl and Felix as a quiet, serious man with internal and external scarring he would likely never move past in his lifetime. After all, lifetimes were so unbelievably short.

Seeing that Bren had gone inside to eat and they weren´t expecting any more guests, the two almost-knights dealt with their own horses as they took them from the pens.

"I’m relieved to see your pony didn’t get taken by the war," Irene realized as Felix brought out his usual grey destrier. "I know many weren’t so lucky."

There was even a time when so many horses were dying, they were tempted to start cooking them as food supplies dwindled in the winter. After a shipment of cattle from one of the surrounding villages, they were relieved to eat tender beef rather than the tough meat from horses.

"Yet a big part of me still doesn’t feel lucky at all," he admitted lightly, considering what he had just said.

"Understandable," Irene relented, not trying to fight an opinion so true to him.

When their horses were away from the pen, Irene stepped one foot into the stirrup, intending to mount Sorrel so that they could leave. Felix’s gaze stopped her.

The oldest apprentice had noticed that she was walking differently than before, but he wasn’t sure if it was because she was allowed to finally be herself or if she was walking more gently because of the injury she had sustained in battle. Considering how everything else about Irene seemed to almost remain the same, he imagined it was the latter.

The thought of her leg and the strange way it had been bent when she was in the infirmary was another formative memory he kept with him.

Since Irene had caught him staring, Felix decided to explain himself.

"Your leg," he began. "I really believed for a while that you would never walk normally again, yet here you are riding a horse." frёewebηovel.cѳm

She felt a bit nervous.

"I’m still a bit too gentle with it, according to my father," she admitted. "It was a lot weaker before, but I’ve been working on strengthening it again for months."

"It’s impressive," Felix responded almost dismissively, even though he was complimenting her. "Let’s go."

Since the ride was his idea, Irene allowed Felix to take the lead as he mounted his horse, then squeezed his knees, and she realized he was going north. They went between what used to be sheds for practice tools and their barracks.

It also meant they were headed towards what was hopefully still Agnes’s grave and the mana pillar they had built to get communication from the King.

Even though it was the last place Irene wanted to go in spite of everything, she managed to press on. Felix was far more traumatized than she was over Agnes’s departure. If he could face her, she could as well.

The ride was short before their first stop, and even in the sun that was inching closer and closer to the horizon, Irene could tell that Agnes’s grave had been taken care of.

"It’s still here," Irene muttered, relieved. "I thought for sure it would have been covered or trampled over."

"I would sneak away from camp every now and then and make sure that this place was still standing," he admitted. "Not much I could do about the mana pillar, but I think that’s of less importance since practically none of us want to have anything to do with the King."

She wouldn’t chide him for such a comment. She only nodded in agreement. That was a common sentiment of the north.

"Was anything else said about a new commander?" Irene asked, talk of the King reminding her as much.

"After Sir Williamson succumbed to the tunnel when they figured out the source of the magic poison, it became just as much of a mystery as it was in the first place," Felix explained. "There are a few guesses, but nothing is set in stone. Apparently, His Majesty is even hesitant about giving the role to your father—the very person we all thought would be best suited as Duke and Commander."

Irene sighed. "It feels so very helpless."

Felix nodded, and then silence ensued for a while as the two of their gazes remained on the small memorial for the late maid who meant so much to them both.

Irene didn’t like the heaviness of everything. They were speaking to one another as if they were mere acquaintances and hadn’t spent nearly every minute with one another for the past years.

She knew what she must do, even though it made her heart race and her chest feel heavy with anxiety.

"Felix," Irene finally spoke up. "I’m so sorry."

"What do you have to apologize for?" He responded so quickly it almost seemed automated.

"I lied to everyone for years," she admitted. "Everyone who thought they trusted me didn’t even know me. Now this place is making me feel as if we’re all out of sync because I have become something less trustworthy. And then I left the battle early..."

She couldn’t finish the second part. It filled her with even more misery than the first part.

"I could only understand if people find me especially hard to be around now," she finally finished. "Even if it hurts me. I hurt others plenty worse."

"If anyone misunderstands that your family was trying to keep you safe in this rough sort of environment, they ought to lose their place in the knighthood," Felix argued. "While I wish I knew your secret sooner, I understand why you wouldn’t tell me. After all the accusations I threw at you and Agnes..." The apprentice scoffed at himself and ran a hand through his hair. "I ought to be the one apologizing."

He looked away from her and stared miserably at the small grave.

"Well, we were both two people determined to protect ourselves," she admitted. "I can’t hate you for that, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for it."

"There’s a lot I shouldn’t beat myself up over and yet..." The almost-knight sighed once more. "Did Agnes know?"

"That I was a girl?" Irene asked. "Yes. When I was first shot with a poisonous arrow, she was someone who undressed me to change my clothing."

"How did you think that you would be able to get away with being injured and not be revealed almost instantly?" Felix asked, half joking.

Irene couldn’t help smiling at him. It was the most she had heard him joke in a long time.

"I suppose I’m an optimist," she responded.

"We could use more of that around here," Felix admitted. "Shall we keep going?"

Irene nodded and followed him further west. It seemed that they would be going around the outside of the late Duke’s property.

After their apology ensued, it felt so much easier to be around one another. Walls came down, and there was a sense of comfort.

As long as she had at least Sit Gunnar and Felix beside her, she could face all things in the knighthood.

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