I'm a Villainess, Can I Die?-Chapter 122

“The more petals that bloom, the worse the symptoms become. These include memory loss, hemoptysis, nosebleeds, headaches, and digestive issues.

The strange thing about the Black Flower is that outwardly, the person appears perfectly fine. Even as the body rots from within, the face only grows more radiant as the petals bloom.”

“...Well. I guess that’s a relief.”

They say that when you’re about to die, you start to find things to be grateful for. It’s laughable, really.

I’m still going to die, but here I am, finding comfort in not looking horribly sick as I go.

Still, I know exactly how much of a blessing that is. Watching someone visibly waste away... it terrifies everyone. The person, and the ones around them.

It’s a constant fear. Of dying. Of living.

So to leave behind a face that looks untouched... what a gift that is.

I gave a faint smile and carefully folded the paper, tucking it back where it belonged. Hoo... A quiet sigh escaped my lips. It just... slipped out.

The unbearable weight of it all was too much to contain, spilling out before I even realized it.

Still slumped at the desk, I slowly opened a drawer and pulled out a blank sheet of paper. A clean white page on a tidy desk.

“What should I do... before I die?”

Just as I’d told Sir Alogen, I had no intention of doing anything grand with the three weeks I had left. What I was thinking about now wasn’t something noble or fulfilling. I was planning how to die.

If I was going to prepare for death alone, without telling anyone, I needed a plan of my own.

I ran my fingers across the blank paper and then, with unsteady handwriting, scribbled my name at the top.

Selina White.

...It just felt like the right thing to do. I wanted to leave something behind. Even a silly little paper with just my name on it.

I laughed quietly to myself, then let my body fall forward onto the desk.

With my pinky finger, I traced the old, faded ring I always wore, and whispered a name in my heart.

Aiden... Aiden... Aiden... come save me.

But the faded ring held no power.

After lying there like that for a while, I remembered Jane would be coming soon and sat up again.

Seeing the crooked writing of Selina White sparked a thought in me.

The happiest memory of my life. I wanted to see the lakeside in summer again.

The seasons had changed, and I probably wouldn’t be able to dip my feet in the water anymore.

But before I died, I wanted to go back there—just once.

So I wrote a small number under my name.

1. I want to go on a trip. With my family, with the people I care about. I want to visit the lake together.

I read over the short line and gently brushed my fingertips across it, like I was touching something precious.

Knock, knock.

“Young Lady?”

Jane’s voice called from beyond the door. Judging by the time, she must have come to wake me. I quickly tucked the paper away in the drawer and tiptoed toward the door.

As I reached for the doorknob, I could hear voices outside.

“She must still be asleep.”

“Right? The Young Lady really does love to sleep.”

The first was Aiden. The second was Jane. These two little rascals... So that’s how they saw me? Fair enough. They’re not wrong—I do love sleeping. I laughed quietly to myself and opened the door without hesitation.

“Oh my!”

Jane let out a shriek and jumped back like a startled chick, making me burst into laughter.

“Ah... Young Lady!”

Jane’s cheeks flushed as she pouted at me. That only made her look even more like a baby chick. I never knew silly teasing like this could be so fun—what a thing to discover, three weeks before I’m supposed to die.

“You’re up early, Young Lady.”

“Yeah. Good morning, Aiden.”

Still giggling, I stepped aside so the two of them could come in. Aiden’s wide eyes, startled by my unusual behavior, soon curved gently into a smile.

He greeted me warmly, and I responded with a shrug and a bright smile of my own. From now on, I want to smile more often. I made that decision quietly to myself.

“Seriously, Young Lady! You gave me such a scare.”

“Sorry, Jane. I woke up early and got bored.”

“...You don’t usually play pranks like this, though.”

“Guess I decided to try something new. And thanks to that, I got to see something hilarious.”

“Young Lady...”

Was that... a curse word she just drew out? Must be my imagination.

While Jane and I chatted, Aiden was already checking the fireplace, drawing back the curtains, and cracking a window open for air. A true professional butler, through and through.

“By the way... are you feeling any better?”

He asked casually as he handed the blanket over to Jane.

Last night, after Sir Alogen left the terrace, Aiden had shown up.

I told him, right then and there, that I’d be returning to my room.

My face must’ve been deathly pale when I said it. Aiden had looked worried, then helped me all the way back like I might collapse any second.

So of course, that worry carried into today.

Sitting at the tea table, I glanced at Aiden, then down at the injury on my hand.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

I didn’t add any excuses. Just left it at that. When I felt his gaze on me, I tugged my sleeve ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ down to hide the mark. It left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I’m smiling like everything’s fine, so they’ll believe it’s true. I’m really happy, right? I should be. Still, strange thoughts echoed in my head. I noticed the way my lips had drooped and quickly forced them back into a smile.

Smile. I don’t have much time left, so let’s smile a lot.

This translation is the intellectual property of Novelight.

I stood up with a grin. Still in my nightgown, I accepted a dress from Jane and asked the two to give me a moment.

Click. The soft sound of the door closing echoed in the room. Holding the pink dress in my hands, I stood there for a moment, staring at the shut door.

How strange. Just a moment ago the room had been full of noise... and now it was quiet again. Utterly, painfully quiet.

I undressed and stood in my underwear before the full-length mirror. The leaf-shaped mark on my chest was still clear. At least it hadn’t changed. Let the flower bloom as slowly as it can.

The source of this c𝓸ntent is freewebnøvel.coɱ.

I touched the mark a few more times, then got dressed.

“Selina, you look a little pale.”

Today, I’d intentionally chosen a long-sleeved dress. I didn’t want the wounds on my hands to show. Still, the sleeves were a bit annoying.

At my brother’s question, I froze for a moment, the loose fabric fluttering in the air.

He wasn’t saying I looked pale because he knew anything. The Black Flower makes the skin glow, after all. If I looked pale, it was probably just from the bad sleep last night.

I nonchalantly resumed moving. I pushed around a piece of carrot I had no intention of eating and slowly looked up to meet my brother’s eyes.

“The air was chilly last night. I think I caught a bit of a cold.”

“My goodness, Selina! Why didn’t you say something?”

A cold? That simple excuse sent my mother into a panic, her hands trembling. If this much scares her, what would she do if she knew I’d die in three weeks?

I blinked slowly and shook my head.

“It’s nothing serious. Just a little cold. You don’t need to worry.”

“But still—”

“Really. I promise, I’m okay.”

I smiled. A practiced smile.

Living among such skilled actors... I guess I’ve become one myself.

To prove I was really fine, I brought a piece of meat to my mouth and chewed. Slowly, calmly. As I swallowed, I could feel my mother’s anxious stare finally ease.

“Oh, Selina. We decided on a dress code for the New Year’s banquet.”

“Dress code?”

I tilted my head, and my brother leaned in with a whisper.

“It was a trend among noble families at one point.”

Ah. So it’s a fashion trend—one that’s already come and gone, it seems.

Well, what does it matter? If it makes my family happy, then that’s enough. I shrugged lightly.

“What color are you going with?”

“Blue! What do you think, Selina?”

My mother’s face was flushed with excitement. It made her look so happy that I didn’t care if they picked blue, or even rainbow.

Whether I’d actually be there to see the New Year’s banquet or not... I couldn’t say.

“I like it.”

I answered without letting anything show. The clinking of cutlery echoed through the dining room. There were only a few bites of meat left on my plate when I remembered my wish.

To go to the lake with my family.

But I couldn’t bring myself to say it right away. The end of the year is a busy time. Even ordinary office workers are swamped—how much busier must a noble running an entire territory be?

I thought about it for a moment, then set down my fork. I was the first to do so.

Everyone looked at me, surprised.

I was always the last to finish eating. Not because I ate a lot, but because I ate slowly. So for me to be the first to set down my fork... it was unusual.

“What is it, Selina? Was the food not to your taste?”

My brother asked gently, his brow furrowed. That look of concern made me smile again.

“No, it’s not that. I just... have something to say.”

The moment I said that, silence fell over the dining room. Not a single sound—not even breathing. Only the crackle of the fireplace filled the still air.

Is saying I have something to say... really such a big deal?

I awkwardly rolled my eyes toward my father.

“...Would you go on a trip with me?”

“With me?”

He sounded surprised. At the same time, my mother and brother stared at me like I’d betrayed them. How dare you ask him and not us? their eyes said.

“With everyone.”

At that, emotions shifted again. My mother and brother looked delighted, while my father’s open mouth dropped into a slight pout.

“I know it’s a busy time of year. But once my birthday passes, I’ll be twenty... and Brother will be getting married... I just thought... we might not have many more chances to travel together in the winter. So... could we?”

I slowly slid my hands from the table into my lap, letting my fingers twine together as I spoke quietly. No one answered right away.

“Selina.”

When I finally finished, my mother called my name. I looked up at the serious tone in her voice, and her hand gently cupped my cheek. It was warm.

“Of course we can. Why are you being so timid, darling? That breaks my heart.”

Timid? I always watch people’s moods. I wanted to say it aloud, but I held it back and closed my eyes in her touch.

Her words, spoken so tenderly, felt even warmer than her hand.