Insect Tamer's Ascension-Chapter 390. Your insecurities are clouding your judgement

Chapter 390: 390. Your insecurities are clouding your judgement

Inside the library, Theo looked at the old man with a serious look on his face.

"I would like to say it’s been a while," Bernard said, "but it seems like you’re here in quite the urgency."

"It is..." Theo replied before handing over the journal, its pages already open.

Bernard stared at Theo for a few seconds before beginning to go through what was written in the journal.

At first, his expression remained normal, calm. But after a while, he lowered the book onto the table, leaving it open.

Theo couldn’t help but feel restless. "I have gained a lot of things during these past few months, Old Man Bernard," he stated.

"And now I realize that... if I chase everything, I will likely fail," he continued and took a deep breath.

"Can you help me choose what to focus on first?" Theo asked, his voice calm, though a glint of determination shone in his eyes.

Bernard studied him for a moment before taking a puff from his pipe.

His gaze slowly lowered from Theo’s head to his feet, then turned to his eyes.

"You have changed a lot, young master. It shows your hard work," he said, releasing the smoke.

"And more than all that, you have clearly matured."

"Your smaller notes helped me understand some of the parts I didn’t quite recognize," he added, glancing back at the pages.

"But I still need to ask a few things before we continue. Why don’t you take a seat?" He spoke and rested his back on the chair.

Theo sat down and answered whatever questions Bernard had. At first, the discussion was all normal, but the more Theo answered, the more fascinated Bernard became. It came to the point that his face was practically blooming with excitement.

"I can understand your pain," Bernard said after taking another puff. "You have gained too many different things, and now the real problem is deciding their priority, huh..."

He then raised a finger and said, "A rather simple question."

"What will happen if your ant colony grows faster than you can control?" Bernard asked.

Theo fell silent, thinking. The question Bernard had asked had left him surprised, and the question now felt like it mattered a lot after listening to a simple but rather detailed explanation that had lasted for a full half hour.

’The colony did clearly go out of control during the gate,’ he recalled.

"...If I were to provide them with a place that has enough land for them to grow," Theo said slowly, "then I will let nature take its course while making some occasional changes to their evolution."

Bernard stared at Theo for a few seconds before releasing another puff of smoke and gave a nod of understanding before raising another finger.

"What happens if your body changes faster than your discipline?" he asked.

This time, Theo couldn’t help but frown in confusion before falling into a deeper thought.

’Body changes faster than my discipline? What exactly does he mean by that?’ He asked himself.

But after he understood the question to a degree, Theo finally answered.

"I will be doomed."

Bernard looked at him with a disappointed gaze, but Theo wasn’t finished.

"I have already seen what even a simple change in my body could do to me," Theo continued. "My balance was completely thrown off, and even now, running doesn’t come as naturally to me as before. If my body changes beyond that, then I truly will be doomed, Old Man Bernard."

Bernard nodded a few times and remained silent for a while.

"Young master, I would advise you not to let the responsibilities of the kingdom trouble you right now," he said.

"That should not be your first priority."

"What I mean by that is, you are only eleven years old. For the kingdom to ask you to do something for them that is rather extremely unlikely."

"They will most likely wait until you are 15 or 16," he added, taking another puff.

"BUT..."

He looked at Theo with a wary gaze.

"If you were to grow too quickly into what they expect from you... then they might start asking much sooner."

Theo nodded. What Bernard said made sense, and at the moment even he had considered something similar.

The emperor seemed to have high hopes for him, and the more Theo achieved in front of him, the more likely it was that the emperor would use his abilities sooner.

"So, we need to work in a way that keeps you out of the kingdom’s eyes for a long, long time," Bernard said at last.

Theo nodded, but it didn’t feel like the right decision.

’Would that mean I have to stop my growth just because the kingdom might not notice me?’ he thought.

"I can already see it in your eyes," Bernard chuckled for the first time. "I suppose both father and son are the same."

"Don’t worry, young master. I am not planning to make you slow down just yet. We simply need to be far more careful now that the emperor’s eyes will be constantly on us."

"For starters, if you think it’s right, it would make sense for you to start working on your Foundation Human control."

"You need to train your body to get used to this new situation it’s currently in. That will take time," he continued. "I would suggest you take Knight Rhys’s training daily to work on that."

"And along with that, you need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself."

"Remember, developing quickly doesn’t mean you have to maintain this pace forever. Some day, whether you like it or not, you might need to slow down for your own good."

"That’s something that will take time for you to understand, because right now I can’t help but feel that your heart doesn’t agree to this."

With that, Bernard got up and began walking toward one of the aisles.

"Before we move to the next phase, you first need to identify why you’re running instead of simply walking briskly in the first place. Why do you feel the need to develop so many things at once?"

"It’s almost like... your insecurity about getting a unique affinity, one that makes you start slower and weaker... is clouding your judgement, young master."