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Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 174: If We Can’t Be Lovers... Perhaps We Can Still Be Friends?
She made no attempt to hide her irritation. Xi Zirong’s body went rigid, his lips pressing into a thin line. He looked as if he’d been suddenly wounded, not daring to move an inch.
The moment the words left her mouth, Xu Su realized how hurtful her tone had been, but she was still unwilling to placate him.
They remained in a stalemate for a long time before Xu Su was the first to give in. She couldn’t help but try to wiggle free from the arm around her waist again.
Xi Zirong’s expression faltered, but he ultimately let go. He kissed her on the forehead and smiled gently. "You go on ahead. I’ll be over in a bit."
It wasn’t a good idea for them to be seen coming and going together. Xu Su nodded blankly, then quietly opened the door and slipped out. 𝐟𝚛𝕖𝚎𝕨𝗲𝐛𝚗𝐨𝐯𝐞𝕝.𝐜𝗼𝗺
Once the thought of breaking up took root, it was hard to shake.
’If I’m going to break up with him, I need a reason...’
But Xu Su had never broken up with anyone before. For the life of her, she couldn’t come up with a single legitimate reason.
’I can’t just tell him, "You like me too much, and it’s stressing me out, so I don’t want to be with you anymore..."’
’And I definitely can’t say that I’ve realized I like someone else.’
Xu Su didn’t dare to imagine how Xi Zirong would react if she told him she’d realized she liked someone else...
The old Xi Zirong would probably... cry... get angry. He’d feel the rage of his pride being crushed by a cheating girlfriend...
But now... Xu Su couldn’t guess how he would react at all...
She had to admit, the boy was growing up too fast. She could no longer read his mind.
’Is turning eighteen really such a turning point for guys?’
The old Xi Zirong was so much better. He would blush just from making eye contact and was perfectly happy with just holding her hand.
Not like now, where his gaze grew deeper and deeper, as if he wished he could keep her in his arms twenty-four hours a day...
Xu Su pressed a hand to her forehead. Her head was starting to throb again.
The last thing she wanted was for a breakup to turn her and Xi Zirong into bitter enemies.
’If we can’t be lovers... maybe we can still be friends?’
’...Alright, maybe being friends would be asking too much... But even if they couldn’t be friends, Xu Su didn’t want them to become strangers who would never speak again.’
So, even if they had to break up, it was best to do it amicably, so that when they looked back on it, there would only be sweet, happy memories.
Xu Su’s dating experience was practically nonexistent. She wracked her brain but still couldn’t come up with a single plausible reason to break up.
Fortunately, this wasn’t the time or place to discuss a breakup. Everything would have to wait until they were back at school.
She and Xi Zirong had been gone for so long, and when she returned, her lips were unnaturally red. Aside from her cousins, Chen Ni and Chen Dong, who didn’t know about her relationship with Xi Zirong, both Huang Feng and Qian Jia gave her knowing smirks.
Xu Ran took one look and didn’t dare to look again, sighing to himself. ’God Xi really is winning at life. He has good grades, a good family, and now even his relationship is this sweet...’
Xu Su’s face flushed from their teasing. She redirected her annoyance toward Xi Zirong, refusing to even glance his way for the rest of the day.
Tomorrow was the last day of summer vacation, and it was also the day of her oldest cousin’s wedding.
That evening, while everyone was outside enjoying the cool air, Xu Su leaned against her grandmother and listened attentively as her aunts chatted about her cousin’s wedding.
Xu Su’s eldest maternal aunt had married into the neighboring Li Family Village. Her daughter, Xu Su’s cousin, was named Li Tingting. At twenty-eight, she was exactly ten years older than Xu Su.
Li Tingting hadn’t tested into high school, so she had gone to Peng City to work as a teenager. The factory she worked at only gave her a few days off for the New Year. She never stayed long before having to return to the city for work.
Ever since Li Tingting turned twenty, Chen Shumei and her husband had been trying to find her a match. But the only people they knew through the village were also from the countryside, all from similarly poor backgrounds.
If she married one of them, she would either spend her life farming a few meager acres of land, scraping a living from the soil, or she and her husband would both have to leave to find work, turning their children into ’left-behind children.’
Having entered the workforce at a young age, Li Tingting understood the saying that ’a poor couple is doomed to a hundred sorrows.’ Naturally, she was cautious when it came to marriage. Every year, she’d come home for arranged dates but never found any of the family’s choices suitable, dragging things out until she was twenty-eight.
In the countryside, a woman unmarried at that age was considered a true ’leftover woman.’ Chen Shumei and her husband had been frantic for years, terrified their daughter would end up marrying someone from out of town.
So this year, they flat-out refused to let Li Tingting return to Peng City, insisting that she find a job right there in Kang County. The pay didn’t matter; what was important was for her to seriously find a partner.
Perhaps it was fate, but after working in Kang County for just over six months, Li Tingting found someone to marry—a Kang County local, no less.
The man had an urban household registration and a house in the county seat. His family had three sons, and Li Tingting was marrying the eldest, who worked at the telecom bureau.
In that day and age, for a girl from a rural family, this was undoubtedly a very good match.
Her eldest uncle’s wife added that the groom’s family even had a relative who was a minor official in some government bureau. In any case, it sounded quite impressive.
Finally, her youngest uncle’s wife said with a face full of envy, "Li Tingting married so well. Big Sis can finally relax. Now that the wedding is happening, all she has to do is wait for a grandchild."
Xu Su: "...Grandchild?"
The two aunts exchanged a look, hesitating slightly. It seemed like there was something awkward they were reluctant to discuss in front of their niece’s friends.
Seeing their expressions, what was there not to understand?
’Her cousin was pregnant before the wedding. No matter the era, an unwed pregnancy was never something to be proud of, especially not in a remote and conservative rural area like this.’
Xu Su didn’t think an unwed pregnancy was that shameful, nor did it guarantee an unhappy future.
’But... she clearly remembered that her cousin would get divorced in just a few years.’
She didn’t know the exact reasons, but she remembered hearing—even all the way in Beijing—that when her cousin got divorced, her two aunts had gone to her cousin’s in-laws’ house to cause a huge scene on behalf of the bride’s family. In short, it was a very ugly divorce.
Xu Su didn’t know the details. The age gap between her and her cousin was too wide. For as long as she could remember, her cousin had been away working. They weren’t even from the same village. Growing up, they had only met a handful of times. Her only impression was of a gentle, older sister figure.
But no matter how gentle she was, Xu Su couldn’t just go up and tell the bride not to get married.
’Tell the bride-to-be to call off the wedding because she’s just going to get divorced in a few years anyway...’
’That was just asking for a tongue-lashing... Besides, she was already pregnant.’
After thinking it over, Xu Su decided to let nature take its course. She had been able to stop her younger cousin, Chen Ni, from being deceived by Little Huang Mao because Chen Ni listened to her. The two of them had grown up together and were very close.
But she and her cousin Li Tingting were practically strangers. She didn’t dare to rashly interfere, so she could only let things be...
The groom’s family was from Kang County, so the wedding was being held there. As the bride’s maternal uncles and grandmother, the entire Chen family had to attend to show their support.
Her aunt had already told her repeatedly that she absolutely had to be a bridesmaid. Just two days ago, Chen Shumei had even called to confirm one more time. It was the first time she was marrying off her daughter, and she was terrified something might go wrong.
In Chen Shumei’s words, she couldn’t let her son-in-law’s family look down on them or think they were just a bunch of ’muddy-legged’ peasants.
Her niece was beautiful and had gotten into a top-tier city high school. Having her as a bridesmaid for her daughter would bring the family so much prestige, wouldn’t it?







