Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It-Chapter 23: A Heart of Compassion

Xu Weiping had it all planned out. Once Xu Su finished high school, she would go work at the textile factory. With him and his wife keeping an eye on her, they wouldn’t have to worry about some young punk sweet-talking her away. She could earn money for the family for a few years, and when she reached the right age, they would pick a good family for her to marry into. The sizable bride price would then be used to fund her younger brother’s education.

With Xu Su’s looks, as long as she didn’t court disaster and ruin her own reputation like her paternal aunt, she could even marry a minor official.

If not for the idea that an educated girl could marry into a better family, he wouldn’t even want to spend money sending his daughter to high school. What was the use of good grades? Even if she got into a good university, no matter how much money she made in the future, it would all belong to her husband’s family. How much of that would she give back to her own parents?

Xu Su had no words for the Xu Family’s deeply ingrained ideology. She didn’t fight it. In her previous life, she had tried so hard to be the perfect daughter, attempting to please her parents and younger brother. In the end, she got nothing. All she received in return was being ’sold’ by them to Zhou Mochen.

This time around, she had already made up her mind: she would earn her own college tuition. ’After all, I’ve been reborn. There’s no way I can’t even earn enough for tuition.’

For one thing, the scholarship at First High School was nothing to scoff at. Although she had never received it, she had heard a thing or two. It was said to be even higher than the scholarships at some universities.

In her previous life, her grades had slipped, so she hadn’t been eligible. But in this life, perhaps she could aim for it.

Besides the scholarship, Xu Su had an ace up her sleeve: she remembered a winning lottery number.

During her second year of high school, an employee from the textile factory, who lived downstairs from the Xu Family’s new apartment, won a huge sum of 50,000 yuan from a single lottery ticket. The incident sparked a lottery-buying craze among the factory workers. Even Xu Weiping, who had never believed in such things, bought tickets for several drawings in a row.

At the time, Xu Su had been extremely envious. After Chen Shulan had gone on and on about it a few times, Xu Su had deliberately memorized the string of numbers, committing them to memory.

She remembered it was before the final exams of the first semester of her sophomore year of high school, which meant it would happen next year. When the time came, she would find a way to buy the ticket secretly, and then she wouldn’t have to worry about college tuition.

~~~~~

For this meal, two dining tables were set up in the Xu family’s main hall. The men sat at one table, the women at another.

Even six-year-old Xu Yang was allowed to sit at the main table. During family gatherings, the women of the Xu Family had extremely low status.

They were the ones who did all the work, and they were also the ones relegated to the smaller table.

At the dinner table, Xu Weiguo’s wife, Yang Yun, said to Xu Su, "Susu, your grades are excellent. When you have time, you should tutor your two younger cousins. Our Haohao, in particular, just started middle school this semester and still hasn’t adjusted. You’ll have to put in some extra effort to help him bring his grades up."

Her voice was quite loud. Xu Hao, who was the subject of discussion, overheard from the main table nearby. He shot a sideways glance at Xu Su and snorted. "She’s a country bumpkin. I don’t want her teaching me."

Even though the Xu Family was so poor, the children had all been raised in the city, and their words dripped with disdain for their older cousin who grew up in the countryside.

Yang Yun was good at smoothing things over. She chided her eldest son, "Your cousin studies at City No.1 High School, in the rocket class no less! What reason could you have to refuse her tutoring?"

Then she turned to Xu Su and said, "Susu, don’t mind your cousin. He’s still young and doesn’t understand how hard it is to get into City No.1 High School."

In truth, Yang Yun didn’t really understand much herself. She usually sold snacks from a stall near an elementary school. She’d heard that City No.1 High School had excellent academic results, but she had no idea exactly how difficult it was to get in, or what a "rocket class" even was. She only remembered because Xu Weiguo had mentioned it a few times in recent days.

Xu Su nodded, not refusing outright. "Alright, when I have time off from school."

’It’s not like I can’t agree. I won’t be able to do it anyway.’

’In reality, high school is so demanding, where would I find the time to tutor anyone? In my last life, I only tutored Xu Yang because I was acting like a total sycophant, willing to waste my own study time just to raise my parents’ precious son for them.’

’And that was only convenient because we lived together. I spent my half-day off every week on Xu Yang.’

’Tutoring Xu Hao and his brother, who lived farther away, would be much harder. Agreeing for now costs me nothing. Surely Yang Yun won’t just show up at my door with her kids every weekend, right?’

While Xu Su agreed readily, Chen Shulan was displeased. She shot her daughter a reproachful look. "Your own brother just started elementary school this year, and he’s having a hard time adjusting, too. If you have any free time, you need to prioritize Yangyang."

"Let me be clear, your father and I are entrusting Yangyang’s grades to you. You absolutely must get him into City No.1 High School for his middle school years. That way, he can go straight into their high school program, and we won’t have to worry about him getting into a good university."

Having a daughter in First High School’s rocket class meant Chen Shulan had been showered with praise by her colleagues lately. This prompted her to learn a bit about the middle schools in Chang City. She found out that getting into City No.1 High School, barring any accidents, meant you were practically guaranteed an undergraduate degree.

Whether their daughter got into university was unimportant to Chen Shulan and her husband. But if their son could, that would bring great honor to the family. They would support him even if they had to sell everything they owned!

At the dinner table, the two sisters-in-law, Chen Shulan and Yang Yun, began to chat back and forth. As the center of their conversation, Xu Su would occasionally nod or murmur a brief response.

Grandma Xu stayed out of everything. She and her husband were old, had no money, and had reached the age where they had to rely on their sons. She was no longer as harsh with her two daughters-in-law as she had been in previous years, when she would occasionally pull rank as the mother-in-law.

Xu Ruyue was like an invisible person, eating quietly with her two daughters. Despite the sweltering heat, Xu Su noticed her aunt was wearing long sleeves. She guessed it was either to hide new injuries or cover old scars.

Her aunt’s husband had the surname Zhang. Her older cousin, Zhang Yingying, was thirteen and had also just started middle school. Her younger cousin, Zhang Tingting, was ten and still in elementary school. Both of them were as skinny as little chicks. Their father didn’t hit them often, but he rarely showed his two daughters a pleasant expression either.

Even though Xu Su’s own situation was far from good, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of compassion. ’If I had been raised by the Xu Family, I’d probably be just like them right now, wouldn’t I?’

She felt a small sense of gratitude that Chen Shulan, in her quest to have a son, had sent her to the countryside to be raised by her maternal grandmother.

In her past life, she and Zhou Mochen had never gotten along. Even after their marriage, she refused to acknowledge her status as Mrs. Zhou and wouldn’t let the Xu Family take advantage of Zhou Mochen on her account. In private, she never offered the Xu Family the slightest bit of help.

When her own brother, Xu Yang, dropped out of middle school, developed a gambling addiction, and subsequently ruined the family, Xu Su didn’t even bat an eye.

The only ones she couldn’t bring herself to be heartless toward were these two cousins. When they were accepted into university but couldn’t afford tuition, Xu Su secretly paid their fees. She always felt that in helping them, she was helping her former self.

Zhang Yingying herself was a credit to that help. After graduating from university, she didn’t rely on any connections, instead getting a job at the Zhou Group purely on her own merit.

By the time Xu Su found out, her cousin had already become a department team leader.

Later, however, she made some major mistake at work and offended Zhou Mochen. On the verge of being fired from the Zhou Group, she had come to Xu Su, begging for help.