Love Among The Ruins-Chapter 51

CAINE’S P.O.V

It took seconds for him to stop breathing.

He just lay there, his eyes open, a small smile on his face and his chest still. The knife was still in his chest. The moment I pulled it out, the blood would pool and the monsters would be on us in seconds. I wanted to give everyone time to say their goodbye’s first.

Nadine hadn’t let go of his hand, her eyes welled with unshed tears as she pressed her forehead into his shoulder. I looked away from her briefly to stare at Jennifer who hadn’t moved. She just knelt by his side unblinking.

"We have to go," I forced myself to say. I closed his eyes. He deserved that much. I looked away and forced myself to my feet. "Nadine."

She lifted her head and my heart nearly tore in half when I saw the tears in her eyes.

I wanted to take the pain away, wanted to fix everything, but I couldn’t. If it were up to me, Dan would get the burial he deserved.

She didn’t move, just stared at me.

I forced myself to take a step back and grabbed the little can I swiped from the store. I pulled Nadine to her feet and although there was an initial protest, she quickly complied and stood next to me.

"Get up, Jennifer," I whispered as I uncapped the can and tipped the contents over Dan’s body.

That had Jennifer’s head snapping up. "What the fuck?"

"Go to the container."

"I’m not leaving him."

I tugged her up with one hand and she screamed, loud enough to alert every creature within a mile’s radius where we were. Nadine clasped her hand over her mouth but it was too late, her scream reverberated through the air already.

"Get her to the container, now!"

There was a moment of brief hesitation before they took off.

I poured the rest of the gasoline over his body and took the knife. I tried not to look at the blood pooling around him as I took out the matches. I wasn’t going to let him be their meal, he didn’t deserve that- not even in death.

It only took a second, but it felt like hours. I took a few steps back and tossed the lit match onto his body.

"Goodbye, Dan."

I only allowed myself a second to see the flames lick up his corpse, and then I ran.

I managed to get to the container without seeing any monsters. Once I was inside, I slammed the door shut and turned to Nadine and Jennifer who sat huddled into a far corner.

Outside, I could hear the monsters growling and raging but I was comforted by the fact that they would not be able to defile his body. It was the one victory I had.

"You had no right to pull me away from him," Jennifer said, her voice barely over a whisper. "I had the right to grieve him. You took that from me."

"Jennifer-" Nadine began but I stopped her.

"No, let her speak. Tell me what I took from you, Jennifer. I saved our asses. I preserved his body from them."

"You burned him!"

This was the quietest argument I had ever experienced. There was no yelling for fear that the monsters would hear us, so we argued in whispers.

"Would you prefer that I let them eat him? Would you prefer that I let them destroy his body? I did what I thought was best."

"That was not your call to make."

"Someone had to make it," I snapped. "You weren’t there all day. You hid inside while we spoke to him. You don’t get to come out here and try to call the shots."

Jennifer was silent for a moment before scoffing. "That’s a low blow, even for you."

"It’s the truth. We’re alive for now and I’m not going to let you jeopardize that."

"So we just forget him? We pretend he didn’t exist?"

"No, we remember him and keep going. We don’t make stupid decisions in our moments of grief." I made my way over to Nadine and pulled her into my side. "For now, we sleep and tomorrow, we keep moving."

She sniffled, but said nothing.

She turned away from us and I saw her shoulders shake with small sobs. I knew my words weren’t any consolation. The truth was, I didn’t know how to console her or anyone else. Growing up, I never learned how to grieve. The only thing I knew how to do was keep moving. 𝙛𝓻𝒆𝓮𝒘𝙚𝙗𝒏𝙤𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝒐𝙢

"One day, we’re going to forget what he looks like," Nadine began after a moment of silence. "I’m trying to etch his face into my memory but- I’ll forget. I’ll forget the exact sound of his voice and laugh."

"I know."

"It sucks."

I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I know."

She sighed and I carefully wiped at her cheeks with my thumb. I couldn’t offer much except my presence. I just hoped that would be enough for her.

She climbed in between my thighs, curling herself against my body as I stroked her back in small circles. We just stayed there quietly when I heard something land beside me with a thud. It was a small while piece of paper folded into a square.

I looked up at Jennifer who had thrown it but she didn’t even glance my way, she just lay on her side and ignored me.

I carefully reached out for the paper and unfolded it. I couldn’t help the small gasp that left my lips.

It was a picture.

Dan looked younger in it. His hair was grown out more and his skin wasn’t as pale as it had been in the last few days. He sat on the porch of a cabin, a large golden retriever lay at his feet. He was in cargo pants and a flannel shirt and he was grinning from ear to ear.

I flipped it over and sure enough, there was a date etched at the top. It was dated two years ago in a scrawny and nearly illegible writing.

Kier and I at dad’s old cabin. Sam didn’t want to be in the picture.

As I stared at it, I realized there was so much about Dan that I didn’t know. I never knew he had a dog and I didn’t know who Sam was. Was the person male or female? A sibling? A lover? Were they still alive?

"There were two of them. He gave it to me last night," I heard Jennifer speak. "He said it was his prized possession. It was all he kept from his past life."

I handed it to Nadine who gasped. "Why give it to us?"

"Because for reasons I don’t know, he liked you. He would want you to remember him."

"Thank you," I told her, and I genuinely meant it.

"Just don’t lose it. There isn’t another one."