Masteria Online: Shattering the Dark God's Grand Scheme-Chapter 60 - This Clown Has Nothing but Dark Thoughts

Chapter 60: Chapter 60 - This Clown Has Nothing but Dark Thoughts

"Damn it."

Those were the first words that came out of Lena’s mouth the moment she had come back to reality. She sat in her gamepod, staring outwards into her wide open room. The strange, unfamiliar feeling that had welled up inside her earlier when meeting Narinder was still felt in the back of her mind.

She couldn’t get the memory out of her head!

"Damn it!" She muttered harshly to herself. "I hate it here, I hate it here so much."

She reached up to remove the helmet from herself, and gripped it harshly. The metal felt strange. She was unsure if it was just an illusion, but she thought it felt... slightly soft?

Creek...

"Ah!" The sound of metal suddenly bending spooked her into letting go. "The fuck." She cursed to herself. This gamepod was so expensive! It clearly utilized technology from the future.

Then why exactly was it so flimsy that she could do that to it?

She lifted her arms once more, taking it off herself. She then began undoing her restrictions. After lifting the bar that secured her waist...

"..." She stared down at the restraint bar. It felt light.

She didn’t remember it feeling like that.

"I’m losing it. I’m actually losing it." She lifted the bar up, then put it down. She repeated the motion several times, ascertaining the weight.

It still felt light.

She growled then fully undid her restraints, standing up and taking a look around her room. She didn’t even know what she was looking for, she just felt that she had to look for something.

"I.." Coherent thoughts escaped her. Her mind went back to how she felt. It was such a strange, unfamiliar feeling. The memory of it felt like an iceblock within her heart that wouldn’t go away.

She directly hopped into her bed. She wasn’t cold, yet somehow her chest felt so cold and hollow. "hah... what’s my problem?"

She didn’t even know why she was talking to herself. There was no one else here. It wasn’t normal behavior, yet she couldn’t help the impulse to do so. Yet the very fact that she was talking to herself only amplified her thought that something was going wrong in her mind.

"Hehehe... I’m not gonna feel better here... It’s like you know what I mean chat? Hehehehe~"

She sat up in her bed, and covered herself in her blanket. She looked over to her computer, even though it was turned off. "Chat do you know what it’s like?"

She gave an exaggerated smile to nobody. "It’s like imagine you’re a clown in a circus, and you start telling everyone you’re suicidal and depressed. But everyone thinks it’s part of the act, so they all start laughing. And so you start breaking down in tears, but like everyone still thinks it’s part of the act."

She only gave the slightest pause as she suddenly snapped her head down to her bed, huffed loudly, and stretched her mouth. She continued ranting to herself. "So then they’re laughing, and you’re just screaming at them to like understand you, but it’s like they don’t understand that it’s NOT an act. It’s like they don’t understand that this clown has nothing but dark thoughts in their mind."

She grabbed a pillow and- "AHHHHH!" She yelled into it.

"Hehehehe~!" She got up from her bed, making her way to her computer desk. "It’s fine. It’s fine. Heeeeehahahaha! It’s fine~. Hahahaha! It’s fine, I mean like it’s fine, it’s fine."

"Like I’m being ssssssssssserious, you know what I mean?"

She leaned down to turn her computer on, pressing the power button. She accidentally put too much force, and it directly broke off.

She couldn’t hold it back any longer. 𝑓𝓇𝘦ℯ𝘸𝘦𝑏𝓃𝑜𝘷ℯ𝑙.𝑐𝑜𝓂

"FUCK! FUCK FUCK!"

She threw herself on the floor directly. "Ok, the thing is, I’ve lost control of my body. But like it’s fine, I think I can get through this." She gathered herself back up.

She nervously approached her desk again, and grabbed a bottle of pills. She nervously gave it a small squeeze, and watched as the plastic distorted, the cap flying off.

"Hehehehe~ ahhhh! Woo! Woohoo! Heheheh~ hahaha. I’m not human!"

She threw herself back to the bed and began repeating. "I’m not human, I’m not human, I’m not human..."

...

Renan scrolled through his messages. He found it incredibly curious that Lena had yet to send him anything.

Since Narinder had confirmed the purity of her soul and granted her a blessing, that meant that Lena should now be privy to the fact that Masteria was a real world.

After all, she must have logged off and experienced her newfound strength, no? He could only assume that she had not messaged him about it for whatever reason or another.

He supposed it made sense. He knew that Lena liked him a lot, but he didn’t know how much of that was being played up for in-game fun. Just because she acted obsessed with him didn’t mean she actually was that obsessed in real life.

Regardless, he still messaged her.

"Lena, we got blessed. You feel it too, don’t you? Masteria... must be real."

He stared at the message for a few moments, before deciding she must be preoccupied.

He pondered what to do for a couple moments. It was the afternoon, not yet time to sleep. There was still time to do something...

He turned his head to the door.

My family...

Should I let them know?

Would that even help them? Would it matter? What would it accomplish?

If they saw me with supernatural powers, and then I explained that this is an entirely other world...

Renan had no intention of putting his family in danger. Even if he got them both into Masteria, they would just be two of millions of unskilled novices. He wouldn’t even be able to carry them to the peak, since they lacked what made top players special.

Instead, such a thing would only waste his time.

Yet danger would naturally come to them regardless, regardless of what he did. At least, he would assume so, if he didn’t already know the future! Despite countless others suffering horrible fates, his family survived right until the very end!

When he had joined the Empress’s army to confront the Dark One in that last final stand, his family was alive on Earth waiting for the good news.

That is why he was so hesitant to introduce variables into his family’s future...