Merchant Crab-Chapter 227: Big Kaboom

The crab’s group watched as the small goblin stepped forward, his head held high, the oversized wizard hat sitting on it bobbing precariously as he went.

With a flourish, Druma snapped his enchanted cape back as his other hand aimed his staff forward. The scrawny assistant struck a poised stance, his legs slightly bent and his free hand held out like someone about to draw a weapon.

Balthazar was certain that, in the little green guy’s head, he was looking incredibly awesome right now.

And truth be told, the crab didn’t entirely disagree.

Green light began swirling around the diamond-shaped gem at the tip of the staff, quickly growing an orb or arcane magic in the air.

Taffy’s mad ramblings finally ceased as the bright glow caught his attention, and he froze on the spot, looking at the goblin.

“W-what… what are you doing?!” the dumbfounded boy stuttered, his wide eyes staring at the staff pointed in his direction.

Green magic spun around a huge glowing ball of energy in front of the tiny assistant, its swirling generating a wind strong enough to force him to hold on to his hat in order to keep it from flying off.

Behind the panicked fanboy, the crowd of undead were slowly breaking off their excited partying, some already setting their sights back on the living intruders in front of them.

“The effect on the skeletons is wearing off!” Rye shouted over the loud wind rushing from the massive arcane bolt being cast in front of them.

Cupping his pincers around his mouth, Balthazar yelled toward Taffy. “Kid, get down!”

The freckled boy threw himself down onto the stone floor, and the crab turned to the goblin.

“Now, Druma!”

The goblin’s face lit up with a toothy grin, his big eyes reflecting the green light of the orb.

“Druma cast… BIG KABOOOOOM!”

A thunderous clap shook the very ground beneath their feet as the goblin unleashed the full charge of his Staff of Arcane Bolts. fɾēewebnσveℓ.com

The massive green orb of magic, big enough to swallow a stone golem whole, pushed through the dusty air of the dungeon, flying just above Taffy’s curly, bright orange hair, until it reached its target—the skeletons.

The mass of undead stood by watching helplessly as the arcane bomb collided with them, their empty expressions turning pale green. A flash of blinding light exploded from the point of impact, like lightning striking a tree during a thunderstorm, illuminating the halls as far as the eye could see.

It lasted no longer than the blink of an eye, but fortunately for Balthazar, crabs do not blink.

Shielding his eyestalks with a claw, the merchant peered through the space between his pincers just long enough to perceive something far in the distance, made visible by the flash of the arcane explosion. It was some kind of structure or monument standing in the middle of the empty hall, covered by a thick layer of dust and several cobwebs. Even stranger than that, for that split second that light bathed the Halls of Semla, Balthazar was sure he could see the walls that eluded them that entire time, and that they were pure white.

That can’t—

The blowback from the explosion hit with the force of a dozen windstorms, turning the hall into a blur and sending everyone to the floor. Druma’s small frame was sent flying back like a tumbleweed, but Bouldy, the only one not bothered by the shockwave, swiftly reached forward to catch him in his hands while also shielding his friends with his body.

And just as fast as it came, the wind and the light passed, returning the halls to their eerie stillness.

Balthazar stood back up with a wobble, rubbing his sore face before straightening the floral crown on top of his shell back into place.

“Ow… I sure hope Tweedus doesn’t go around giving staves like that one to every goblin he stumbles upon…” he muttered.

The rest of the group slowly got up as well, grabbing their sources of light and checking on each other.

Particles of dust and pulverized bone permeated the air all around them, and as Jack and Leah cast their lights toward the area of impact, they saw that not a single one of the skeletons chasing them remained.

“Where’s the kid?” Rye asked, looking around.

A high-pitched whimper came from the edge of the lit-up area. “Owieee!”

Taffy stumbled back onto his feet, one hand rubbing his dust-covered face. He wobbled for a moment, bits of shattered bone falling off his big head of curly hair, which seemed even puffier after being caught by the explosion’s blowback.

“Oh, great! He’s alright,” Rye said with a relieved sigh.

“Oh… Great… He’s alright,” Balthazar said with a sarcastic eye roll.

Druma stepped down from Bouldy’s hand, his eyes still spinning around the room, when a pair of hands suddenly grabbed his own and his ears were assaulted by loud hollering.

“That… was… awesome!” Taffy proclaimed, his gaze already back to his usual fanatic state. “The way you blew those skeletons apart was so freaking amazing! You saved me!”

The confused goblin stared wide-eyed at the boy, nodding along as he shook his hands up and down. “Druma… Druma did?”

“Of course! Those dastardly skeletons were stealthily sneaking up on me, and you jumped in to protect me! So heroic!”

“The hell does he mean, they were sneaking up on him?” Balthazar said to the archer next to him.

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Druma blinked in disbelief a couple of times as Taffy kept raving and gushing.

“Druma… hero?” he muttered with a vacant gaze, his mouth slightly open.

“Oh, my goodness!” Taffy continued. “What else could be expected from Mr. Balthazar’s personal assistant! Of course someone like him would have a super powerful goblin mage as his right-hand man… uhm… goblin… creature? Am I using the appropriate term? Sorry, I’m just so excited, I can barely contain it! If his goblin assistant was this awesome, I cannot wait to witness how incredible Mr. Balthazar himself really is!”

A smile grew on Druma’s face and his feet started hopping from side to side as he too started feeling excited.

“Druma is hero!”

Balthazar skittered forward and shooed the ginger boy away from his assistant.

“Alright, that’s enough, kid! You’ve caused enough trouble already. Go on, git! Shoo!”

The kid stumbled back, a shocked and pleading look on his face.

“But… But… Mr. Balthazar! I came all this way to join you! Please, let me join your party!”

“More like you came to bring me trouble. Again!” the crab exclaimed, waving his pincers at him like someone trying to wave a bad smell away. “Go home to your mother, or whatever, I don’t care, just stop getting in my way!”

The boy looked to be on the verge of tears. Granted, very exaggerated and overly dramatic tears.

“I can prove myself useful! I swear! I’m your biggest fan! Just give me a chance! I have a rag here somewhere in my pack, I could give your chitin a polish. I’ve been practicing!”

“You stay away from my shell, you little twerp,” the irritated crustacean said. “I’m not an adventurer, I’m a merchant. I don’t need or want fans!”

Rye approached the crab from the side and spoke in a hushed, calming tone.

“Come on, Balthazar. The kid means no harm. No need to be so harsh.”

“He keeps causing us trouble. You can’t seriously expect me to let him come with us!”

The archer nodded. “No, I agree. This isn’t safe for him, but you’re supposed to be the crab with a silver tongue. Surely you could find a better way to tell him this, no?”

Balthazar groaned. As much as it annoyed him, he knew the adventurer was right.

You catch more crabs with sugar than with vinegar, as I always say…

He took a deep breath and turned back to the freckled boy.

“Look, kid, we’re here on an important…” Balthazar’s eyestalks rolled. “Quest. And as much as you may want to… help, the fact is, you are just a level 2, and this whole dungeon is way, way too dangerous for you.”

Taffy perked up suddenly. “But surely I’d be safe with you and your party of—”

The crab raised a pincer to interrupt him.

“No. You would get in the way. You’d be a liability. Protecting you would distract us from our… mission. You are just too weak, and you lack any skills that could help us here.”

“Weeeell…” Rye said. “He does seem to have that mass—”

“Zip it, Rye! Let the talking crab do the talking.” He turned his eyestalks back to the boy. “Look at Druma over there, for example. In order to save you, he had to use the full power of his magical staff, which takes a really long time to recharge. That was a powerful asset we had to spend because of you.”

“Uhm, technically wasn’t that—” the archer started, but a swift glare from the crab’s eyes shut him up again.

Balthazar continued. “These guys over there are way too heroic to let you get hurt—and that could end up jeopardizing the quest. Surely you wouldn’t want that, right?”

The ginger boy’s head dropped slowly. “Oh… I… I think I get it.”

[The Gift of the Crab: Success]

“You are right, of course, Mr. Balthazar. I was so eager to help that I must not have realized I was getting in the way. I’m clearly not a fighter. I should have known better. I should have done better!”

Balthazar nodded sagely. “Exactly. Glad you finally understand, so now you can go on and find someone else to—”

“I must take this as a lesson!” Taffy suddenly exclaimed, raising his voice again. “I must learn from this experience and find a better way to serve you, Mr. Balthazar! I must go and figure out how to make myself properly useful to your party!”

The crab’s eyestalks fell forward. “Oh, for the love of… Fine! Whatever. Just go do that somewhere else. Out of here, preferably!”

The kid looked around, puzzled. “I… I don’t really know the way out of here, though.”

Balthazar walked up to a nearby pillar and, using the tip of his claw, scratched an arrow and a number on the stone surface.

“See this? Go that way and check the pillars for similar markings. Follow the arrow, if the number keeps getting lower, you are getting closer to the exit.”

“Oooh,” said the impressed youngster. “Marvelously clever, as was to be expected from the brilliant mind of the merchant crab!”

“Should have just left him for the skeletons…” Balthazar muttered behind grinding teeth. Which was a rather impressive feat of grumpiness, as a crab’s mouth does not have teeth.

“I shall eagerly await for you outside, Mr. Balthazar!” Taffy exclaimed as he set off into the darkness with his dim lantern and an imprudent amount of confidence to his step.

“Are you absolutely sure this dungeon doesn’t have a back exit?” the crab asked, turning to Rye after the light of the boy’s lantern was out of sight.

The archer chuckled, but before he could form his response, a yell echoed from the dark.

“Geez, did the kid run into a savage skeleton already?” said Jack.

“I don’t think that was him,” said Leah. “It came from the opposite direction he just went.”

The group stared into the void for a moment, and the sound of running steps started fading in, getting closer until gasping and panting could be heard too.

Rye grabbed his bow as his face tensed up, eyes fixed on the direction the sound was coming from.

“I’m pretty sure skeletons don’t pant, dude,” Jack said to the archer with a half-joking expression.

A young adventurer burst out of the darkness, eyes wide and face covered in sweat. As he reached the group, he fell to his hands and knees, panting and struggling to catch his breath.

“R-run…” he said with a faded voice, too exhausted to get his words out properly.

“What the hell happened to you?” Jack asked.

Balthazar gave the adventurer a closer look and his eyestalks frowned.

“Wait, I remember you. You’re the guy that walked by the bazaar on his way to this dungeon a couple of days ago with that blacksteel sword that was way too powerful for his level.”

“That—that sword,” the novice warrior said between ragged breaths. “I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know!”

“You didn’t know what?” asked Leah, leaning in front of him. “What happened?”

“I—I just wanted some nice loot for a change,” the young man said, his face pale and his gaze staring emptily at the floor. “I couldn’t have known the sword would do that. It… it…”

“Spit it out already!” the exasperated crab said.

A distant crash echoed in the distance, followed by a growing rumbling coming from the same direction the adventurer had come from.

Everyone froze, not daring to even breathe, waiting.

Something was moving in the darkness.

Something huge and angry.

The panting adventurer turned to look at the crab’s group.

“It knows we’re here,” he whimpered, all color drained from his face. “We’re all gonna die.”

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