My Wives Are Seven Beautiful Demonesses-Chapter 167 - No. Finally! Explanations Are Over!

Chapter 167: Chapter No.167 Finally! Explanations Are Over!

[Location: Morningstar Manor, New York]

I sighed. "It was a high-grade relic chest. Named Ancient Treasure Chest of the Vampire King. Exact words. The chest was massive, ornate, covered in dragon-blood metal and wrapped in cursed chains."

Zeraphira didn’t blink.

That was worse than blinking.

"Cursed," she repeated mildly. "Chains."

"Decorative curse," I said quickly. "Very vintage. Antique evil. Collector’s item."

Selene leaned across the couch toward me. "Did it at least have dramatic, glowing runes? Please tell me it had dramatic glowing runes."

"It had dramatic glowing runes."

"Yes!" She pumped a fist. "Worth it."

Gabriel raised her hand politely. "Um... excuse me... was the chest... crying?"

Everyone looked at her.

She shrank a little under the attention. "S-Sorry! I mean sometimes magical items cry when they’re lonely..."

"That is... oddly specific," Valeria said.

Gabriel nodded earnestly. "I read it in a book!"

I cleared my throat. "No crying chest. Just... heavy, sealed, and radiating enough cursed energy that my shadow soldiers debated throwing it into a different dimension."

Grayfia’s gaze sharpened. "They hesitated to bring it to you."

"Yes."

"And you still opened it."

"Yes."

Zeraphira tilted her head. "Without checking for traps."

"...Define ’checking.’"

"Dominic."

"I poked it with Erebus."

Erebus did not react.

Selene slapped the armrest. "That’s not checking, that’s outsourcing responsibility!"

"It worked," I defended.

Ezravia adjusted her glasses. "Statistically, that should not have worked."

"It did," I repeated.

Ravvy hugged a cushion tighter. "W–Was it... locked?"

"Oh, extremely," I said. "Seven-layer curse lattice, bloodline seal, soul-key mechanism."

Gabriel blinked. "What’s a soul-key?"

"A key," Selene said helpfully, "but sadder."

I pointed at her. "Surprisingly accurate."

Zeraphira steepled her fingers. "And how did you open a bloodline-sealed relic belonging to the Vampire King?"

Every eye slid to me.

Careful.

Very, very careful.

"I am just built different," I shrugged. "Anyway, as I opened it, light spilt out— Golden. Sacred. Powerful. Inside the chest was... a curled up... GIRL!"

"Me! Me! Papa, it was me!"

Eris shot both hands into the air as she’d just answered the easiest question in the universe.

"Yes," I said, pointing at her. "Her. That."

Zeraphira didn’t move.

Selene leaned sideways and whispered loudly, "He found a child in a vampire loot box. This is peak protagonist behaviour."

"Please stop narrating my life like it’s a seasonal anime," I muttered.

Gabriel looked between Eris and me with wide, sparkling eyes. "So... she was sleeping inside?"

"Curled up," I said. "Like a very small, very ominous cinnamon roll."

"I am NOT ominous," Eris protested.

Astra, still kneeling nearby, tilted her head. "I can attest she smelled like sugar," Astra paused delicately. "...—and I even poked her awake."

Eris nodded proudly. "She booped me."

"I did," Astra confirmed. "Gently. With one finger. I calculated a ninety-three percent probability of immediate catastrophic retaliation."

"I was very sleepy," Eris clarified. "So I only glowed a little."

Selene clutched a throw pillow. "I love how ’only glowed a little’ is considered restraint."

Gabriel leaned forward. "Did she cry? Babies cry when they wake up!"

"I did not cry," Eris huffed. "I yawned. Very cutely."

"She did," I admitted. "Tiny yawn. Sparkles came out."

Zeraphira pinched the bridge of her nose. "Sparkles."

"Yes."

"From a child," she said calmly, "found in a cursed relic belonging to the Vampire King."

"Well, he wanted to eat her Ancient Angelic Heart to gain something... well, now he’s dead, so," I finished lamely, waving a hand like that somehow wrapped everything up neatly.

No one spoke.

Not a single soul.

The manor itself seemed to lean away from me.

Zeraphira stared.

Grayfia stared harder.

Ezravia stared like she was actively updating a mental conspiracy board.

Valeria had stopped smiling, which was deeply unsettling.

Ravvy looked like she might faint into her cushion.

Gabriel looked like she’d just learned that puppies sometimes explode.

Selene—

Selene was vibrating.

"He," Zeraphira said at last, her voice perfectly even, "wanted to eat her."

"Yes," I said. "But in his defence—"

"There is no defence," Zeraphira cut in smoothly.

"—It was a very ritualistic eating," I finished weakly.

Selene screamed into the pillow.

"I KNEW IT," she shouted, muffled fabric barely containing her glee. "I knew the Vampire King was a ’consume angel heart for forbidden ascension’ kind of guy! That’s like— that’s classic dark fantasy! Ten points! No notes!"

"Please stop awarding points to my trauma," I begged.

Grayfia’s fingers had gone white around the arm of her chair.

"He wanted," she said softly, dangerously softly, "to devour a child."

"Yes."

"An angelic child."

"Yes."

"In a sealed dimension."

"...Yes."

Her red eyes flicked to Eris.

Eris, completely unbothered by the weight of ancient horror now being processed around her, was busy stacking cookies into a small tower on the rug.

Grayfia inhaled.

Then exhaled.

Then inhaled again, slower this time, like she was forcibly restraining several catastrophic impulses.

"Continue," she said.

That word carried more threat than any shout.

"Continue? It’s finished, didn’t you hear Vampire King dead? So the entire sealed dimension colapsed inwarded after I left the realm."

Silence.

"So yeah. Tower done. Vampire King gone. Pocket realm folded like cheap laundry. Very final. Very dramatic. Five stars, would not revisit."

Again. Silence.

The kind where everyone is waiting for the rest.

Zeraphira’s smile had returned.

That was never a good sign.

"Darling," she said gently, "you skipped the part where you gained an Ex-Vampire Queen as your ’wife’, please explain~"

Gulp—Cough!

I choked.

Not a dignified cough.

A full, soul-leaving-my-body choke.

Selene slapped my back like she was trying to restart a stalled engine. "BREATHE, PROTAGONIST, BREATHE."

"I am breathing," I wheezed. "I just object to the phrasing of that sentence."

Zeraphira rested her chin lightly on her interlaced fingers, golden eyes calm, knowing, lethal.

"Do you," she asked sweetly, "object to the phrasing... or the accuracy?"

Carmilla finally stepped in front of me, "I gave myself to Dominic for what he did for me. Vampire King had killed my daughter, which is also one of the reasons I divorced him. Please don’t blame Dominic on my account, if you detest me, I can prove to you all how much I love darling—"

I stood up so fast my chair tipped over behind me.

It hit the floor with a loud clack that made half the room flinch.

"Stop," I said sharply.

Carmilla froze mid-sentence.

The playful, chaotic, gossip-circle energy in the room snapped as a string pulled too tight.

Even Selene stopped rustling.

I stepped in front of Carmilla, putting myself physically between her and the rest of the room.

"Do not offer to prove anything," I said, quieter now but firm. "Not like that. Not to them. Not for me."

Carmilla stared at me, crimson eyes softening just a fraction.

"Dominic—"

"No," I said. "We are not doing dramatic sacrifice monologues today. We already had one cursed chest reveal. That’s the quota."

A beat passed.

Selene slowly raised a hand. "Is there a punch card system for trauma quotas or—"

"Selene," three people said at once.

"Okay, okay, quiet."

I exhaled and dragged a hand down my face before turning back toward the room.

"Carmilla didn’t ’get collected,’" I said. "She didn’t get defeated and turned into a shadow. She chose to come with me after the Tower collapsed. That’s it. No chains. No domination. No weird necromancer nonsense."

Erebus gave the faintest nod in confirmation.

Astra bowed her head slightly.

Grayfia’s gaze remained sharp, but she was listening.

Zeraphira tilted her head. "You are saying she aligned herself with you voluntarily."

"Yes."

Carmilla stepped to my side, posture regal again, though the earlier desperation still lingered in her eyes.

"My former husband murdered our daughter in pursuit of ascension," she said calmly. "Dominic ended him. I stayed because my revenge died with the King... and my grief did not."

Silence fell again, but this one was heavier. Older.

Gabriel’s eyes filled instantly. "Oh no... that’s so sad..."

Ravvy sniffed loudly into her sleeve.

Valeria looked away, jaw tight. "That’s... not exactly a casual breakup."

Selene lowered her voice for once. "That’s a villain origin story that never got to happen..."

Zeraphira’s gaze shifted from Carmilla to me.

"And you accepted her."

I scratched my cheek. "She was going to die if not, and I kind of... liked her."

Gasp!

Selene gasped as if I had just confessed to tax fraud.

"You liked her?!" she whisper-shouted. "That’s your explanation?! Not ’political alliance,’ not ’strategic asset,’ not ’tragic widow protection program’—just vibes?!"

"I contain multitudes," I muttered.

Valeria leaned back in her chair, pink hair spilling over one shoulder. "Multitudes? Darling, that was a side quest pickup line."

Ezravia adjusted her glasses. "It does track with his established behavioural pattern."

"Which is?" I asked warily.

She didn’t look up from her mental notes. "Emotionally compromised hero with a saviour complex and a weakness for women carrying generational trauma."

Selene pointed at her. "WRITE THAT DOWN, THAT’S HIS WIKI TAG."

"I am not a trope," I protested.

Zeraphira gave me a long, slow look.

"You found a cursed child in a vampire relic, adopted her, recruited an Elder, befriended a shadow army, and returned with a grieving vampire queen who pledged herself to you."

She folded her hands neatly.

"You are, in fact, several tropes in a trench coat."

I opened my mouth.

Closed it.

"...That is slander."

"No," Selene said. "That’s genre awareness."

***

Stone me, I can take it!

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