Obsessed with a High-Ranking Esper (BL)-Chapter 238: NSFW 2

"Okay okay. Think. Maybe it’s the... dynamic. Maybe the power exchange," he muttered under his breath as he pulled up a BDSM tag.

He was met with by scene of restraint and impact. A guide was bound and at the mercy of an esper’s will. The crack of a hand, the gasp that followed but he felt nothing.

The panic was no longer pricking. It was a full, drowning wave. He scrambled his logic disintegrating. "Gender. Maybe it’s the gender." He searched for female esper with male guide. The esper, powerful and commanding, pinned the guide down, fucking him with a fierce intensity. Jian Ci watched, unblinking.

Nope.

Male esper with male guide. A different kind of tension, a gruff, muscular entanglement. Nope.

Female esper and female guide. A sensual, slow exploration.

Nope.

His breath was coming in short, ragged pulls. Guide and guide? The most niche of categories, psychic-neutral intimacy. He found one. Two guides, one pinning the other, moving together in a rhythm that spoke of practiced familiarity, of touching to feel, not to channel. A quiet and intense fuck.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

He cycled through them all, a frantic slideshow of carnality that left him cold. Every combination, every fetish, every nasty, beautiful and vulgar act of human connection played out in high definition right before his eyes, and he felt... nothing. It was a profound, hollow emptiness where desire was supposed to be.

He finally shut the interface off. The room was plunged into a darkness that felt thicker, heavier than before. He was shaking. He looked down at himself, at the limp proof of his failure lying against the dark fabric of his sleep pants.The thought was a cold knife sliding between his ribs.

He swiped his communicator and he pulled up his messaging app, ready to unleash a torrent of angry texts at Jian Rui but then he stopped. There was one more combination he hadn’t tried. The one that made his skin prickle with discomfort. Esper and esper.

It was a violation against his own bottomline but the alternative was admitting defeat. He typed it.

Female esper, male esper. A scene of entangled limps unfolded but his body didn’t react. "Fuck," he swore thinking he had truly lost his mind to even search this.

He took a sharp breath, the air feeling thin. He changed it to male esper and male esper.

The video loaded. Two men, both clearly espers from the defined, powerful musculature that spoke of physical training, stood in a sparring room. There was no gentle preamble. One pushed the other against a wall, the kiss brutal and consuming. It wasn’t love; it was a contest. A grunt, raw and guttural, vibrated through Jian Ci’s earbuds. Clothes were ripped, not removed. Hands, big, calloused hands, gripped and clawed at flesh. "Fucking." The word in his head matched the action on screen. It was "fucking". Hard, relentless, the slap of skin on skin a brutal percussion under the groans.

Jian Ci watched, detached. He noted the flex of a back muscle, the strain in a neck tendon. He observed the mechanics of it. His own body was silent and numb. A profound, terrifying emptiness opened inside him. "So this is it, I am—,"

The door to the hotel suite slid open with a soft hiss.

Panic, sharp and electric, shot through his veins. His finger jabbed at the floating screen, killing the video, plunging the room into near-darkness save for the lights bleeding through the blinds. His heart hammered against his sternum. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he swore as he opened a new tab and maximized it. It was a bland article on psychic resonance theory.

The earbuds were still in, but he heard nothing from them, only the blood rushing in his ears and the footsteps in the lounging area. Yu Xi’s footsteps were a little heavier than usual.

Jian Ci kept his eyes glued to the screen, the words a meaningless blur. He could feel the phantom glow of the banned video on his retinas. He felt caught, even though it was impossible. Yu Xi couldn’t possibly know what he had been watching.

"Hey." The voice came from the doorway. Jian Ci forced his head to turn. Yu Xi leaned against the frame, silhouetted by the light from the lounge. He had no jacket on, his usually precise posture softened.

"Hey," Jian Ci said, his voice thankfully steady.

A languid and gentle smile curved Yu Xi’s lips. He pushed off the frame and walked into the room, his steps carrying a slight, graceful unsteadiness. He leaned a hip against the desk, facing the bed. "You good?"

"Are you wasted?" Jian Ci almost asked, but Yu Xi spoke first. He swallowed and replied, "I am good. You?"

Yu Xi’s smile widened, sweet and a little lopsided. "I am good." His gaze, usually so sharp, was warm and hazy as it traveled over Jian Ci. Then it paused. His brow arched, a perfect curve of amusement. "Really?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Yu Xi pointed a lazy finger. "Your ears are red."

’Fuck.’ Jian Ci’s hands flew up, cupping his burning ears. They were scorching hot against his cool palms. The gesture was childish, a dead giveaway. From the desk, Yu Xi chuckled, a low, rich sound that seemed to vibrate in the quiet room. He turned his back to Jian Ci, starting to remove the small, intricate silver earring from his lobe, then pulling the pin from his hair. Dark strands fell loose around his shoulders.

Jian Ci’s mind raced, the panic morphing into something else. A desperate, clawing idea.

Jian Wei had said Yu Xi has experience. A lot of it. He would know how to solve it plus he wouldn’t judge him. Maybe... maybe he could really help.

The thought was insane. It was humiliating but it was his only lifeline.

He cleared his throat, the sound too loud in the quiet. Yu Xi stilled, his hands pausing in his hair.

"Can I..." Jian Ci started, then stopped. His voice was too soft, too hesitant. He sounded like someone else. "Can I tell you something?"

Yu Xi turned around slowly.