Obsessed with a High-Ranking Esper (BL)-Chapter 280: NSFW 9

The words hit the present Jian Ci like a physical blow. Disbelief. Dread. A horrible, creeping warmth he didn’t want to acknowledge. He did it. He actually did it.

He had imprinted his chaotic, broken psyche onto the person he loved without knowing it. He had marked Yu Xi as his own in the most fundamental way possible.

The memory didn’t care about his crisis. The fucking continued, a relentless, sweaty, filthy grind. His past self was chasing his own end, his hips slamming forward with a final, desperate intensity.

The feeling of Yu Xi’s body clenching around him, milking his cock, the hot, wet spill of his own release deep inside, Jian Ci felt the ghost of it all, a sickening echo of pleasure that twisted his gut.

He watched himself collapse, a dead weight on top of Yu Xi, utterly spent. The psychic storm had gone silent, leaving only the sound of their harsh, mingled breaths in the dark cave.

What have I done? The question was a scream in his silent mind. Why didn’t Yu Xi say anything? How did Alarna get the chance to swoop in and pretend? What did Yu Xi think of me? Did he... did he like it?

The memory shifted, dissolving at the edges. He saw himself waking, disoriented, the cave floor cold against his cheek. He saw Alarna’s concerned face hovering over him, her hands gentle. He saw her help him sit up and Yu Xi was gone.

The space where Yu Xi had been was empty, just a disturbed patch of ground. A cold dread, deeper than any he’d felt before, settled in Jian Ci’s bones. Where did he go?

The memory dissolved completely, the cave walls bleeding into darkness before reforming.

He was in another memory. It was a sterile, white room. He soon realized it was the same psychotic episode. He was restrained this time, thick straps holding his wrists and ankles to a medical bed.

He was thrashing and growling, the sound raw and animal. Jian Rui was trying to hold him down and Jian Wei trying to inject him with a repressant. Then the door hissed open. Yu Xi walked in and everything... stopped.

Jian Ci’s growling choked off into a ragged gasp. His thrashing stilled. His wild, rolling eyes snapped to Yu Xi. Jian Rui and Jian Wei froze confusion.

Yu Xi just walked to the side of the bed, his movements calm. He reached out, his fingers brushing a sweat-soaked lock of hair from Jian Ci’s fevered forehead. The touch was an electric calm.

Jian Ci on the bed let out a shuddering sigh, his body going limp against the restraints. His eyes, moments ago filled with chaotic terror, now held only a desperate, pleading focus. On Yu Xi. Only on Yu Xi.

"You are here," the restrained Jian Ci’s eyes seemed to say.

Yu Xi’s expression was grave, tender. He leaned down, his face close. "I am here for you," he said softly.

And then Yu Xi kissed him. It wasn’t a kiss of passion, not like the brutal claiming in the cave. This was something else. A sealing. A promise. Yu Xi’s lips were soft against his chapped, trembling ones.

The kiss started tender, a mere press of warmth, a silent communication that bypassed the shattered psyche completely. 𝙛𝒓𝓮𝙚𝔀𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝓵.𝙘𝒐𝒎

Jian Ci on the bed made a broken sound against Yu Xi’s mouth, a sob of relief. He strained against the straps, not to break free, but to get closer. Yu Xi responded, deepening the kiss.

It grew urgent, not with lust, but with a profound, aching need. The kiss said everything words could not: I am here. I am staying. You are not alone.

Jian Ci watched, his soul laid bare, as his past self lost himself completely in that kiss. It was a lifeline. It was the only solid thing in a dissolving world. Yu Xi was his anchor. Yu Xi was his world.

And Yu Xi had never told him.

The memory began to fade, the white room dissolving into a blur of light. The last thing Jian Ci saw was his own tear-streaked face, utterly peaceful, pressed against Yu Xi’s neck as Yu Xi murmured soft, unheard words. He was left in a void, the truth a cold, heavy stone in his chest.

***

Jian Ci opened his eyes to the dim light filtering through the curtains of his room. The ceiling above him swam in and out of focus, and a throbbing ache pulsed at the base of his skull. Each breath was a battle, sharp, stabbing pain shot through his brain with every inhale, but even that was nothing compared to the heaviness lodged in his chest.

Memories surged back, fragments of his collapse piecing themselves together in cruel clarity. He turned onto his side, the sheets rustling against his trembling body. His throat tightened, and before he could stop himself, silent sobs escaped.

It wasn’t Yu Xi he was angry at. Not at all. He was furious with himself. Furious for forcing Yu Xi into silence, for being blind to the sacrifices that had been made for him.

From the very first day, Jian Ci had been drawn to Yu Xi, though he hadn’t recognized it for what it was. Love. A quiet, steady love that had been there all along.

And yet, while Yu Xi carried him through the shadows, Jian Ci had wasted four years with someone else. A liar who claimed credit for saving him, when it had always been Yu Xi. The realization burned. Hot tears spilled down his face, unstoppable, flowing straight from the soul.

The door slid open. Jian Ci froze, his back to the door, praying his tears would remain hidden.

"Awake?" Yu Xi’s voice was soft, hesitant.

Jian Ci’s body tensed involuntarily. He wiped at his cheeks with careful, feather-light movements, forcing his voice steady. "Mm. I am just... so tired."

Yu Xi furrowed his brow, stepping closer, his hand half-raised as if to check Jian Ci’s temperature. Panic surged in Jian Ci’s chest. He couldn’t let Yu Xi see him like this. "I am really okay," he whispered quickly. "I just... need some time to myself."

Yu Xi’s steps faltered. Silence stretched between them, heavy and fragile. Finally, Yu Xi spoke, his voice low. "You have been asleep for two days. I was just... worried about you."

"I am okay. Really. Just... give me some time." Jian Ci’s words were thin, brittle, but he forced them out.

Yu Xi lingered for a heartbeat longer, then nodded. "Alright. Food is ready if you are hungry. Call me if you need anything." The door soon slid shut with a soft click.

Jian Ci lay there, staring at the wall, his tears drying into a hollow ache. Relief never came. Instead, guilt pressed down harder, suffocating him. He hated himself for letting the moment slip away, for hiding behind cowardice when the truth clawed at his throat.

He wished he had spoken, wished he had told Yu Xi everything, but the words were still locked inside him, waiting for a courage he did not yet possess.