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'Oops! I Stole the Isekai Lottery'-Chapter 63: "Operation Dark Lord’s Payback: The Heist That Shouldn’t Have Happened"
Chapter 63: "Operation Dark Lord's Payback: The Heist That Shouldn't Have Happened"
In a dark, dimly-lit room that looked suspiciously like the kind of place you'd expect to find an evil lair in a low-budget muggle movie, Raja, Dobby, and the Weasley Twins sat huddled around a holographic projection of Gringotts. They looked less like a team of professional criminals and more like a bunch of cartoonish villains from a magical caper.
Fred scratched his chin, his eyes glinting with that mischievous sparkle that only came out when he was about to suggest something ridiculous. "Alright, first things first—cool heist name."
George, adjusting his glasses with a flourish, nodded sagely. "Exactly. We need something so dark, so nefarious, that even Voldemort would question his own life choices."
Fred grinned. "Something that'll make the Ministry think Voldemort's so broke, he's robbing banks just to get a pint of Butterbeer."
Dobby, who was sitting cross-legged in a suit so formal it practically screamed "I'm going to a wedding I wasn't invited to," raised his hand. "Sirs, I have it. A name to shake the very foundations of Gringotts and beyond..."
He snapped his fingers with all the drama of a bad magician, and a glowing name appeared above his head: "Operation Dark Lord's Payback."
Raja's eyes widened in delight, and he slammed his hands onto the table. "Dobby, you magnificent house-elf. That's it. We're doing this."
Fred's face lit up like someone had handed him a pile of gold. "Bloody brilliant. If we pull this off, the Ministry will be convinced Voldy's finally figured out that he's flat broke and decided to rob banks like any self-respecting Dark Lord."
George chuckled, rubbing his hands together like a wizard about to cast a spell. "Alright, lads, let's get to work. This isn't just any robbery. This is going down in history books as the Gringotts Heist of the Century."
The plan? Simple.
Get in unnoticed.
Steal every Death Eater vault.
Escape like legends.
How? Oh, just by disguising themselves as bumbling, incompetently disguised Ministry auditors. You know, the kind of people who couldn't even find the bathroom if their life depended on it.
With a grand flourish of magical Ultimate Polyjuice Potion(It will change any being into any being)., Raja, Dobby, Fred, and George transformed into perfectly believable celebrity faces faking as Ministry inspectors. But wait, it gets better—Dobby, now dressed in a three-piece suit so out of place it practically screamed "awkward," carried a clipboard and led the charge like he was an overworked bureaucratic overlord.
Raja became George Clooney, Dobby became Brad Pitt, and Twins became Matt and Leo.
Dobby cleared his throat in a way that seemed to signal absolute authority, his voice booming across the cavernous lobby. "Excuse me, Goblins. We are from the Ministry's Financial Integrity Department."
The Head Goblin, who had been inspecting an ancient coin like it might hold the meaning of life, didn't even look up. "We don't have a Financial Integrity Department."
Raja, adjusting his ridiculous fake mustache (which had already started to peel off), leaned forward. "Exactly! That's why we're here! We need to do a full, thorough check-up on all vaults. You see, there's a growing concern about Death Eater gold laundering."
Fred, his hands shaking just slightly, pulled out a giant, entirely fake document that looked like it had been drawn up by a toddler. "This here paperwork says we need to investigate random vaults for potential... uh... criminal activity. Especially those linked to certain individuals."
George, ever the showman, dramatically waved his hands like he was casting a spell. "Oh, you know, people like... BELLATRIX LESTRANGE?"
The goblins stared blankly at the team. For a long, uncomfortable moment, the silence in the room hung thick like a bad smell.
"Fine," the Head Goblin finally grumbled, "You lot may proceed. But I don't like it. I'm watching you. And submit your wands to the goblin by the exit. You can collect them when you leave."
The treacherous journey into the depths of Gringotts was chaos incarnate.
They rode an ancient, creaky minecart down a dark and winding tunnel, the echoes of distant goblins' laughter and the eerie glow of enchanted torches lighting the way. The farther down they went, the air grew heavier with magic, and a strange sense of foreboding began to creep over them.
Fred, nervously clutching a bag of enchanted fireworks, whispered, "You think we'll make it out alive?"
Raja grinned, his eyes gleaming with the thrill of the heist. "Why wouldn't we? The real question is—what's really in the Death Eater vaults? I've got a feeling we're not just dealing with gold..."
As they arrived at the first vault, it wasn't filled with the shiny, glimmering treasure they had imagined. Instead, it was stuffed with dark, twisted magical objects: cursed relics, dark wands, and suspiciously glowing items that looked like they could explode at any moment.
Raja, walking last and keeping an eye on their progress, casually threw a paint marble onto the ground. It left a trail of magical paint marks that would help them locate the vaults they needed to loot.
At the last vault, Raja looked at Dobby and gave him a subtle signal. The plan kicked into motion. Dobby, with swift precision, knocked out the Head Goblin. Raja, not missing a beat, pulled out Rune-lock removal devices and swiftly unlocked the vault without alerting the goblins.
Inside the deepest levels of Gringotts, Raja and his crew went full magical Ocean's Eleven.
Fred and George? They were speed-looting vaults like professional thieves who had clearly watched one too many muggle action films.
Dobby? He was teleporting gold straight into enchanted bags with such speed that it almost looked like he was defying physics. The house-elf was zipping in and out of vaults faster than you could say, "Goblins' Grudge."
Dobby even managed to transfer Hufflepuff's Cup into an enchanted box and handed it to Raja, who stashed it safely with the other Horcruxes. He also picked up Ravenclaw's Diadem from the Room of Requirement, like it was a muggle trinket before the Heist.
Raja, however, wasn't quite as focused on the gold. He was doing what any self-respecting heist mastermind would do—looking for something extra special. Maybe it was the rush of adrenaline or the growing suspicion that Gringotts was hiding more than just gold, but something was calling to him.
As he passed a row of nondescript vaults, a strange pulse of magic seemed to reach out, almost whispering his name. Turning, he spotted a forgotten, ancient vault in the back, covered in mystic runes that hummed with a strange energy. The air around it crackled with forbidden magic.
Fred, who had just shoved several handfuls of loot into a bag, glanced up. "Raja, we're in the middle of a robbery! What are you doing?"
Raja didn't take his eyes off the vault. "Guys... I think I just found something important."
George groaned, pulling his hair out in frustration. "We're already robbing every Death Eater's vault! Steal it later! We're running out of time!"
Raja smirked, reluctantly nodding. "Fine, fine. But I'm coming back for this."
And then, as if on cue, the Gringotts alarms exploded, emitting a sound that could only be described as the death knell for any thief. The Head Goblin, now awake and extremely grumpy, let out an ear-piercing shriek. Goblins screamed, security flooded the halls, and a giant metal dragon—yes, a dragon—came to life with a roar that shook the very foundations of the bank.
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Dobby, ever the optimist, grinned at Raja with an innocent expression. "Master, I believe this is the part where we panic."
Raja, however, simply grinned back, his eyes alight with the thrill of the chase. "Nah. This is the part where we make history." with a snap the fake wand that the goblins stored blasted causing chaos in the Bank.
Fred and George, already halfway to the exit, began tossing handfuls of enchanted fireworks behind them, lighting up the corridor in a spectacular display of color and noise. Goblins, momentarily blinded by the explosions, stumbled around, swatting at the air like a group of angry bees.
Meanwhile, Dobby, not to be outdone, teleported onto the head of the giant metal dragon, gripping its ears like reins and shouting with glee, "FLY, YOU FOOL!"
The dragon, terrified of the small house-elf on its head, decided that charging through walls was a better idea than dealing with Dobby's rather aggressive attempts at steering. It crashed through the ceiling with a roar that could be heard all the way to Diagon Alley.
Raja, who had been busy preparing the escape plan, grabbed Fred and George by the hands and, with a single blink of magic, teleported them—along with Dobby, still holding the dragon's reins—onto the dragon's back. They shot through the roof of Gringotts, flying into the open sky like a band of absolute madmen.
As they flew, Raja, his voice magically amplified, bellowed, "We are Dark Lord Payback! No vault is safe in British magical society! All hail the Dark Lord!"
The heist crew, still high on adrenaline, joined in unison: "ALL HAIL THE DARK LORD!"
Back at Hogwarts, the Daily Prophet screamed in bold, front-page lettering:
"DARK LORD'S PAYBACK: VOLDEMORT ROBS GRINGOTTS?!?!"
Raja, sitting back in his chair with a smug grin, took a sip of tea. "Now that was fun."
Fred and George exchanged glances, both holding bags of stolen gold. Fred raised an eyebrow. "You think we'll actually get away with it?"
George chuckled, his fingers itching for more fireworks. "Mate, we're the Weasley Twins. Of course we will."
And with that, the infamous Operation Dark Lord's Payback was declared a success.