Private Marriage, Secret Love-Chapter 144: Hate, Of Course I Hate You

She turned to leave.

Miles Hawthorne shot up and grabbed her hand. "Raina, where are you going?"

"I’m going to get you out of here."

"Even if you beg him and he agrees, I won’t leave."

A wave of grief washed over Raina Reddington. "Do you have any idea your mother is still lying in the funeral home? Her body is unclaimed, and the funeral home might forcibly cremate her. You didn’t get to see her for the last time then—are you going to miss seeing her for the last time now, too?"

Miles Hawthorne’s grip on her hand loosened. He sank back down, defeated, tears glistening in his eyes. "I will bring her home."

Raina Reddington felt as though everything here was grating on her nerves. The smell lingering in the air made her nauseous, and she felt the urge to vomit again. She grabbed Miles Hawthorne’s arm, trying to drag him out. "Come on. Let’s get out of here. Let’s go!"

Ethan Lancaster leaned against the door outside, listening as their voices carried clearly to his ears. A chill settled in his eyes and his heart.

Raina Reddington’s meager strength was no match for Miles Hawthorne. Only this close could he see how frighteningly thin she’d become. Miles Hawthorne jerked his arm back, and Raina staggered, nearly falling. He used the motion to steady her, lightly wrapping an arm around her waist and lowering his voice to speak in her ear, "Even if you get me out of here now, it’s useless. Their eyes are on me every second. It’s better to leave me here. I’ll find a chance to escape. I will. Raina, trust me."

Raina Reddington glanced at Miles Hawthorne. He deliberately pulled away from her, putting distance between them. "You should go. Don’t let anyone know you came here. This place is filthy. It’s no place for you."

Raina Reddington’s tears traced a path down her face, reaching the corners of her mouth and leaving a bitter taste.

The corner of Miles Hawthorne’s mouth twitched. His eyes were filled with the sight of her, but her reflection in their deep, dark depths was shattered.

"My mom... at the end... was she in pain?"

Raina Reddington fought hard not to cry. ’I have no right to cry in front of him,’ she thought. ’His life is already so tragic. Does he really need to watch me fall apart like this?’

’I can’t tell him I didn’t get to see May Sullivan one last time, either, because I was frantically searching for him. And I definitely can’t tell him that she died with her eyes wide open.’

Raina Reddington’s lips trembled as she spoke. "It was very peaceful. She passed away in her sleep."

Ethan Lancaster leaned against the wall, his gaze fixed on the blank wall opposite. If not for some lingering concern for her feelings, he would never have given her a chance to speak with Miles Hawthorne.

"That’s good." Miles Hawthorne took in a shallow breath, bending over to brace his arms on his legs. "Raina, you should go."

But Raina Reddington still couldn’t accept it. ’This is no place for a person to be. Every minute I stay here is torture.’ She couldn’t imagine how Miles Hawthorne had endured the last few months.

Miles Hawthorne glanced sideways at her, mouthing his words.

Go. Hurry and go. 𝙛𝓻𝒆𝓮𝒘𝙚𝙗𝒏𝙤𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝒐𝙢

If she wanted him to have any dignity left, she needed to go. Now.

His long, narrow eyes crinkled as he tried to give Raina Reddington a comforting smile, but in the end, a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek.

Raina Reddington bit down on her lip, feeling the sharp, tearing pain. Her face was cold and wet with tears. Suppressing a sob, she turned and walked out.

Miles Hawthorne raised a hand to wipe his face, then lit a cigarette. He propped his chin on his hands and watched as Raina Reddington walked outside. The air was thick with the smell of cheap cigarettes as he lightly dabbed the corner of his eye with a fingertip.

Raina Reddington gently pulled the door closed. She put a hand against the wall to steady herself, walking right past Ethan Lancaster as if he wasn’t there.

The door to an adjacent room was suddenly pulled open, and a woman in heavy, garish makeup stumbled out. She bumped into Raina Reddington, drenching her in a cloud of perfume.

The woman was completely drunk. Seeing Raina Reddington’s face, she couldn’t resist reaching out to touch it. "Well now, you’re a pretty one. Let me introduce you to some clients..."

Ethan Lancaster shoved the woman aside and yanked Raina Reddington into his embrace. His gaze was so cold and fierce that no one dared take another step closer.

Perhaps she was frightened, because this time Raina Reddington didn’t push Ethan Lancaster away. Instead, she let him keep an arm around her shoulders and lead her out.

Seth Sinclair was waiting for them at the door. When he saw the two emerge, he instinctively glanced at Raina Reddington’s expression.

She was huddled in on herself, tear tracks still visible on her face. Seth Sinclair walked ahead and opened the car door for Ethan Lancaster.

Raina Reddington got into the car and hugged her head with her hands. ’I don’t want to hear anyone speak right now.’

The driver didn’t start the car. Ethan Lancaster lowered the window and stared out at the street. After a long time, he finally spoke, "Go."

The car drove back the way they came. Raina Reddington lifted her head to look outside. ’If Ethan Lancaster hadn’t brought me here,’ she thought, ’I could have turned all of Stoneworth upside down and probably still wouldn’t have found this place.’

’A place like this probably doesn’t even show up on a GPS, does it?’

The car bumped along the narrow roads, past shops that were still open for the night. Raina Reddington’s heart wouldn’t quiet down. ’Those photos May Sullivan saw before she died... they must have shown what I just saw, right? Or maybe something even worse.’

A sharp pain seized Raina Reddington’s heart at the thought. It was agonizing to think that someone couldn’t even find peace in their final moments.

She turned her head to look at Ethan Lancaster. ’He was the one who had those photos sent. When it comes to cruelty, who could possibly be worse than him?’p>

Ethan Lancaster was highly perceptive. Even without looking at Raina Reddington, he immediately felt her gaze on him.

He shifted his gaze to meet hers. His lips moved, and he finally spoke. "What’s wrong? Can’t stand it?"

Raina Reddington’s face was completely blank. "There’s nothing to stand. It’s about what I imagined."

’Cameron Fairchild’s words had taken deep root in her heart. She wasn’t naive enough to think Ethan was just bluffing.’

When Ethan Lancaster saw her red, swollen eyes, didn’t his own heart feel as though it had been pierced as well?

"I thought you would beg me. You went through all that trouble to find him, yet you didn’t ask to take him with you. I find that baffling."

Raina Reddington lightly licked her dry lips. "Because I knew you’d say no. So why waste my breath?"

Ethan Lancaster felt no satisfaction. He had made Raina Reddington suffer by torturing Miles Hawthorne. You reap what you sow. It was as if a seed he had planted and tended to had finally borne fruit, but now that it was time for the harvest, he felt no joy at all.

To put it bluntly, he and Raina Reddington were just torturing each other. ’If you won’t let me live in peace, I won’t let you, either.’

"Does it hurt to see him like this?"

Raina Reddington twisted her fingers together, her head giving a slight, unconscious shake. "As long as you’re happy. As long as you feel you’ve gotten your revenge. Everything is up to you."

Ethan Lancaster clenched his jaw. "You really hate me, don’t you?"

"Yes. I hate you more than anything," Raina Reddington said, and it was the truth. From what happened to Minnie Hale to May Sullivan dying with a grievance, Raina finally saw some things with absolute clarity. "Ethan Lancaster, this is just the kind of person you are. Before, I overestimated my own importance. Now, I see you clearly."