Re: Timeless Apocalypse-Chapter 106: The Sin(II): Burden

Uriel looked at the rivers, then back at Ophanis, confused and lost.

"They are me?" His brows furrowed. "What does that mean?"

Seeing her trembling lips and the slow rise and fall of her chest, her eyes smouldering with fury, only deepened his confusion.

Ophanis remained quiet for a few moments, observing each river as if she wanted to imprint them into her mind and never forget them. Only then did she turn back to Uriel.

"Each river is you. Each river represents a version of who you were in past timelines that the regressors collapsed."

Uriel’s eyes widened.

"Each river contains an echo of your soul, with your memories and experiences. Each of those rivers is a piece of you, Uriel."

"I said that when we signed the root contract, I became a sort of conduit for the past to the present, allowing past, yet dead, versions of you to reach out."

"They reached out and fixed your Spark," she continued, her voice softening. "But they also remained."

"This is a sort of graveyard of... you."

Uriel peeled his gaze away from Ophanis, slowly panning to stare at the world of rivers around him. Looking at it all, he felt as though he had forgotten how to breathe.

His heart hammered against his ribcage, the sight of his endless lives of failure and death shocking him to his core, his very root.

Suddenly, his jaw tightened.

"And that is the price," Ophanis said, her voice so low it might as well have been a whisper. "You must choose."

"You must choose between the present and the past."

His eyes trembled. 𝚏𝕣𝕖𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚋𝚗𝐨𝐯𝕖𝕝.𝕔𝐨𝕞

"If you reject the sin, you’ll regain all your memories of the past, as well as your mastery and spiritual strength. You’ll immediately bridge the gap between you and all other regressors."

"The reason why Thoryl is after you, the truths of Ayah, the matters related to the church, to Lirik, to Arthur—it’ll all be concluded as your memories return."

"You won’t be powerless anymore, nor will you be a pawn in their games. You’ll return to your rightful position as a player."

"But everyone will forget."

Uriel’s heart skipped a beat, her words like a bucket of cold water poured over his body.

"If you reject the sin, you will remember, but no one else will. They’ll all forget you, and over time, even as you reforge your bonds with them, those bonds will fade and be forgotten under the might of the Sin."

"You’ll essentially be a shadow."

Ophanis stared at the rune, at the Sin. "But if you accept the sin, you, in turn, will forget."

"Or rather," she corrected, "you won’t be allowed to remember. These rivers of memories will burn, and you will never remember the past."

"But above this, you’ll inherit the emotions of each river, without any context of memory or history. All the ache, with none of the experience."

"You’ll inherit the burden of men much stronger and older than you may ever become."

Uriel closed his eyes.

"So I either hurt myself and those I love," he murmured, "or only myself."

Ophanis didn’t speak.

To say it was a hard choice would be an understatement.

On one hand, Uriel would be forgotten by everyone. Not only by his loved ones, but also by his enemies.

And considering what his grandmother had told him, it seemed he had far more of those than he’d hoped.

Lirik, Thoryl, Celeste, Salazar, Lady Emmet, the Loom, the government, and most likely the sentinels—the list was long. Truly.

Not only would his enemies forget him, but he would remember them, and most likely all of their weaknesses and future paths of development.

But he’d be alone. Forever.

Such a fate ensured he’d never be remembered by anyone or anything. He would exist in isolation, endlessly.

Was such a life worth living?

And beyond that, if he regained the memories of all his past lives, as endless as they seemed to be, would he still truly be... him?

Would he still be Uriel, or a chimera of past echoes?

If he pushed the thought further, and remembered that Thoryl’s plan wasn’t merely to kill him but to cripple all those around him, who was to say that forcefully erasing their memories wouldn’t bring about the same harm?

What if their souls instantly collapsed?

On the other hand, there was a path that would most likely lead to his death.

He would never remember. Never. No matter what anyone did, the past would be gone forever. And not only that, he would inherit the emotions of all iterations of himself.

Their rage, sadness, madness, joy, affections—he would inherit all of it. And as someone with a Spark rooted in emotion, Uriel could easily understand the form of hell he would be trapping himself in.

He would forever lag behind the regressors. They would always know more about him than he did about them, and every day would be a gamble.

He would be, as Thoryl had once called him, a lamb—a lamb anyone could seize and slaughter.

"..."

Uriel sighed.

He stared up at what lay above him: a white void tainted gold.

"What is the Gate of Truth?" he suddenly asked Ophanis.

"Something beyond my comprehension?" he added before she could answer.

She nodded. "So is the Eye."

He hummed. "And you say... Thoryl was able to indirectly use those things to try and kill me? And past echoes of myself used them to fix my Spark?"

She nodded again, unsure where he was going.

But he didn’t elaborate. In fact, he went entirely silent.

...

Uriel let the silence reign, a deep stillness washing over him.

’How peaceful.’

He was only just noticing it now, but the ghostly form he inhabited within his Mind Palace wasn’t his physical body.

It was the first time in his life he was conscious while not being in his body. The first time he was aware without his disease gnawing at his sanity.

The pain, the burns, the weakness, the aches, the numbness, he felt none of it.

For the first time in his life, he felt free.

It was as if he were floating in a void of nothing, yet everything, free of sensation, yet overwhelmed by a world of calm and quiet pleasure.

For the first, and last, time, he felt free.