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Rebirth before Apocalypse: My Whole Family are Bigshots!-Chapter 213: Stop Making Your Grandpa Talk!
"Really?" Bai Yifan looked at the elderly zombie in surprise, "Grandpa Fan, you’re amazing!"
Ordinary zombies are just adorable creatures that howl, but zombies that can talk are very few.
Every time Bai Yifan sees one, he’s astonished.
Zombies like Grandpa Fan Tangtang are very rare, and he’s only seen one before!
"Of course!" Fan Tangtang proudly patted the elderly zombie on the shoulder, "Grandpa, say hello to the young man."
It was he who taught his grandfather how to talk!
Fan Tangtang felt particularly accomplished!
"Gran~dpa~"
The elderly zombie’s throat emitted a raspy sound, like sandpaper grinding.
Bai Yifan: ...
Fan Liping: ...
Bai Yifan felt lucky that Fan Tangtang admitted he taught his grandfather to say that; otherwise, he’d never clear his name even if he jumped into the Yellow River.
Anyone hearing it out of context might think he was taking advantage.
"Tangtang!" Fan Liping rubbed his temples, looking helpless, "Your grandpa is tired, stop making him talk so much!"
Could we stop casually making my zombie dad talk?
Every time he speaks, my seniority in the family hierarchy drops!
Drops to the dust!
Exhausting!
"Grandpa, are you tired?"
Fan Tangtang looked puzzled at the elderly zombie.
He felt his grandpa wasn’t tired.
Grandpa has always been amazing, never needing rest.
"Gran~dpa~"
A raspy voice sounded, and the elderly zombie’s dull face slightly tilted toward Fan Tangtang.
Everyone: ...
Fan Liping pressed his hand to his heart, feeling like his blood pressure was rising.
"Dad, look, grandpa isn’t tired at all, he’s even talking to me!" Fan Tangtang blinked innocently.
He didn’t feel he was taking advantage at all.
When he taught grandpa to talk, the word he repeated the most was—grandpa.
He didn’t think it was inappropriate at all.
He’s called grandpa so many times, being called back once isn’t a big deal... right!
"Your grandpa already knows these two words. Next time, teach him some other words, okay?" Fan Liping gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to take it out on Fan Tangtang.
It’s a joke; hitting the kid is totally pointless.
Because the kid feels no pain.
It’s his hand that would hurt!
Still, Fan Liping was internally tempted to smack Fan Tangtang once, for reducing his generational standing for no reason!
"Then what should I teach him?" Fan Tangtang blinked innocently.
Why did it seem like his dad was gnashing his teeth, had he done something wrong?
No, he hadn’t!
He’s been so good, even taught grandpa to talk!
"Teach ’grandson’." Fan Liping’s lips curled up mischievously, filled with wicked humor.
Generational status shouldn’t always drop, it needs to be boosted a bit!
At least let him gain some advantage!
"Okay!" Fan Tangtang pursed his lips and softly, sweetly shouted word after word to the elderly zombie, "Grandson, grandson, grandson..."
The elderly zombie stared blankly at Fan Tangtang, his rotting throat emitting two hoarse syllables, "Gran~dpa~"
The voices of the grandfather and grandson filled the living room, one old and hoarse, the other young and clear, forming a rhythmic crescendo.
The two of them shouting grandpa and grandson at each other, the scene was too amusing to behold.
Fan Liping: ...
Everyone: ...
Finally, Fan Liping couldn’t hold back, striding over to Fan Tangtang and lifting him up to take him outside.
"Stand here, and don’t speak!"
Fan Liping kept a stern face, making Fan Tangtang stand by the door as punishment while he went back to the living room.
After all, there were guests around, and he couldn’t hit the kid in front of them.
Not out of concern for the kid’s dignity, but for his own.
After all, hitting the kid would really hurt his hand!
Fan Tangtang looked innocently at Fan Liping, having no idea what mistake he made!
Hu Meiling’s mouth twitched slightly, but she said nothing.
Anyway, her husband couldn’t really do anything to Fan Tangtang, he can’t hit him (it would hurt himself), nor scold him (Fan Tangtang is thick-skinned, wouldn’t understand, might even think it’s praise!).
So just leave it at that!
The elderly zombie slowly moved his stiff neck, stealing a glance at Zhang Yiming, seeing Zhang Yiming in a good state, with no hostility, and a faint, barely discernible smile on his dull face.
Creak creak.
The stiff, bent knees slowly straightened, and the elderly zombie stood up bit by bit from the chair.
"Gran~dpa~"
The elderly zombie’s hoarse voice sounded again, calling everyone grandpa, indicating he was heading out to accompany his grandson!
The elderly zombie walked with stiff steps to the door, standing beside Fan Tangtang.
Everyone: ...
Everyone looked at Fan Liping.
Fan Liping’s muscles twitched severely as he looked up at the ceiling.
An unfortunate family!
"Ahem, Xiao Ming, I heard that amazing little cuties have many subordinates?"
Wang Yiyun, at Liu Jing’s prompt, gently coughed to break the awkwardness, then asked a long-pending question.
"Well, there are some." Zhang Yiming responded with a gentle smile.
As always, warm and sunny.
Finally, no more need to hide anything.
Turns out, they didn’t despise him for being unclean, they still regarded him as a friend.
He didn’t see fear or disgust in her eyes, and so he felt that even without turning back into a human, he could continue living.
He wasn’t asking for much; he just hoped she wouldn’t find his unclean body repulsive.
"Then why haven’t we seen any other cuties?"
Wang Yiyun and Liu Jing looked around, only seeing clean furniture and the cutie grandchildren pair of Fan Tangtang.
They didn’t see any other zombies, quite disappointing.
Zhang Yiming paused, then cautiously asked, "You guys aren’t afraid of them?"
"Afraid of what?" Wang Yiyun shrugged, "I can release a lot of crystal cores."
Cracking crystal cores is the most enjoyable thing ever.
Zhang Yiming: ...
His temples felt a cool breeze.
Wang Yiyun suddenly realized she might have misspoken and quickly corrected, "I mean, I think zombies look ugly, and I want to give them makeovers!"
Zhang Yiming: ...
"Heh heh."
Leng Yebai couldn’t help but chuckle softly.
On this point, he shared the same view as his mother-in-law.
Zombies, indeed, are pretty ugly.
"Yiyun didn’t mean it that way." Liu Jing noticed Zhang Yiming’s awkwardness and quickly corrected, "You’re not ugly, she was talking about other zombies. You’re quite good-looking, I’m sure your internal organs are much more attractive than other zombies’!"
But, I’d need to dissect a bit to make sure.
Zhang Yiming: ...
Zhang Yiming continued to smile warmly, comforting himself.
No worries, no worries.
The Bai Family, they’re just like this.
"Ahem, you all stop talking now." Bai Zhengxuan softly coughed, pointing at his head, "Xiao Ming, don’t take it to heart, there’s something wrong with them here."
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are completely focused on studying zombies, their brains don’t work right, their thoughts aren’t like normal people’s.
"No problem, no problem." Zhang Yiming gently laughed, looking at the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law still expectantly, he gently asked, "Are you guys interested in studying some other zombies?"
"...Yes!"
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law hesitated, but nodded.
Initially, they wanted to study Zhang Yiming, but it seemed somewhat inappropriate.
He probably... wouldn’t like it.
"Okay, please wait a moment."
Zhang Yiming nodded gently, his gaze briefly sharpened, then returned to normal.
Five minutes later, there was a sound at the door.
A zombie wearing a neat black suit opened the door.



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