Rebirth of the Nephilim-Chapter 664: Imagined Ideal

Jadis’ initial panic at the information that Amarantha had permanently changed herself into a humanoid body was somewhat soothed by the follow-up explanation that she did have a means of reverting to her normal, cat-like body. One of Ammy’s skills was the ability to cancel the effect of any of her potions that she used on herself with only a small expenditure of magic power. She couldn’t use the skill on other people, only herself, and it only worked on potions that she herself crafted, but it was an effective ‘reverse button’ that she could press any time she needed to. Definitely an ability she needed, considering her propensity to mix concoctions with unusual effects.

Thinking about it, Jadis was both relieved and perhaps slightly disappointed that Amarantha hadn’t actually permanently changed herself just to be with her. On the one hand, it was a kind of insane thing to do, changing everything about your body just because you were hoping for a romance with someone you didn’t even know that well. On the other hand, Jadis already had one woman who had done exactly that, and Alex was absolutely her perfect little Demon lover whom she adored to pieces. The transformation for love thing had worked out exceptionally well the first time around. Jadis supposed she sort of hoped that a second time would also go just as well. Still, she wasn’t going to complain about Amarantha having some kind of backup plan. Especially not when it was so abundantly clear that she loved being a Lares. Jadis wouldn’t have wanted that to be taken from her permanently.

The rest of that evening was spent in discussion. Amarantha joined them for a late dinner, and they all ate and talked about their plans. Not all of their discussion was about the Lascivious Empowerment ritual; topics ranged from family news back in Eldingholt to plans of what they were going to do to start a settlement around the Nephilim archives. However, the bulk of their conversations centered around the practical aspects of the empowerment ritual. Namely, who exactly should be invited to join the orgy.

If the ritual were to be performed with just Jadis and her lovers, the number of participants would be twelve, including Jadis. That was two more than they had involved in the last ritual back in Weigrun when Jack had artificially boosted their numbers by temporarily altering the spell to include interested observers, not just participants. Two more people involved was more than enough reason to perform the ritual again, though that increase was not the end of the discussion. Amarantha had basically invited herself, to no one’s objection, so that brought their current count to thirteen. No one could deny that more was better, but where was the limit?

The fact of the matter was, Jadis and her lovers were about to embark on what was going to be their most dangerous mission to date. They were going to lead an army into enemy controlled territory where they would face hordes of Demons, deadly magics, and who knew what kind of insane tricks that Desire and the cultists surrounding her had come up with. The environment itself was going to be hostile to their presence, and they would not be able to let their guard down until they had successfully retaken a Demon-infested city, killing a Demon Prince and all the many monsters within. Keeping all of that in mind, it was foolish not to think about the one extremely obvious way that they could boost all of their power. Specifically, how many more people did they invite to join the Lascivious Empowerment ritual.

For Jadis, the answer was complicated. On the one hand, she would do anything to keep her lovers safe. If that meant throwing herself into life-threatening danger over and over again, she would do it. On the other hand… having sex for the sole purpose of increasing her power felt wrong to her on a fundamental level. She loved having sex. Kissing, cuddling, fucking, lovemaking, having a quickie in a closet, spending all night having passionate sex with one, two, or ten of her lovers: all of it was wonderful and she relished every single second. The fact that she had a class that let her use her highly sexual nature to empower herself and her lovers was absolute perfection. She couldn’t have asked for more. But using that gift, which was how she thought of her sex rituals, to coldly calculate the number of people to have sex with in order to optimize her numbers was almost repellent to her. It was as though doing so would leave a stain on her soul, like she had committed a mortal sin.

“For you, it may be,” Eir had whispered into Syd’s ear during the late-night discussion. “You are on the path to becoming a demi-god, if what Una told us is to be believed. The gods have their domains, and they have sins that are anathema to them. Valtar would never commit murder, as it is in direct opposition to his values. Lady Lyssandria would never destroy art or what is beautiful, as that would be setting a flame to her own domain. You are not a god, Jadis, but if you were one, what would be a sin, to you?”

It wasn’t an easy question to answer. Jadis understood what Eir was trying to say, and she felt that she was right, but Jadis still struggled with the concept. She didn’t have any idea what her Domain or whatever would be, were she to ever become a Demi-God. She didn’t even know if they had domains the way D or Lyssandria had domains. Regardless, when she thought about the scriptures that dictated the beliefs and values of the gods, and how those translated to her, Jadis just ended up feeling confused. She felt confident in her own morals and ethics, yet putting them all in words seemed like an impossible task. Even for just one aspect of her personal belief system, like sex, she struggled to keep her thoughts in order.

When Jadis tried to come up with some kind of codified law or rule for herself regarding who she would have sex with, she found that she kept finding exceptions, or making adjustments, or she would just leave things open and nebulous. Thinking of sex, any kind of sex, as a sin felt weird to her. Not that there were not hard boundaries. Rape was obviously an abomination, and sex was for adults, not children. Beyond those simple basics, however, she floundered. After all, she had no problem with prostitution; it was a personal choice that she respected, even if she had no interest in it herself. It wasn’t a sin to her, yet she couldn’t imagine ever paying for sex, either. It just wasn’t something she would want to do. Did that make it sort of a sin? No, she didn’t think so, since she didn’t want to condemn the practice, and yet she still knew she would never enjoy sex with someone who was only participating because they were paid to.

After some time of frustrating, circular thought, she recognized that she was trying to think too broadly. Her ideas were focused on the macro, which was ultimately too impersonal for her to make a connection. She needed to think about the micro, or in other words, how she viewed sex with each person on an individual level. Whether or not she would need to come up with some kind of code was a future problem, if she ever even got the point of maybe becoming a demi-god. For the moment, she would try to rationally analyze her thoughts and feelings, starting with the first person who should have been considered for the ritual from the start.

Cora.

Cora had been flirting with Jadis since basically their first meeting in Lyssandria’s temple. The priestess was a beautiful woman, who definitely leaned towards the side of Lyssandria’s teachings that focused on sex rather than art. Jadis still had the naughty book Cora had given her back when she had been under house arrest and unable to freely leave the temple. While the priestess had made her interest in Jadis abundantly clear, the two had never engaged in anything beyond simple flirtations. Jadis didn’t see her as lover, or even as a candidate for potentially being a lover, like Amarantha or Noct. The idea of inviting Cora to join the Lascivious Empowerment ritual had not even crossed Jadis’ mind until Severina had suggested it. The question was… why?

Jadis saw Cora as a friend. A co-worker or employee as well, she supposed, considering their relationship in Fortune’s Favored, but mainly she viewed her as a friend. Did that mean she wouldn’t have sex with her because they were friends?

No, that didn’t make sense. Jadis happily had sex with Vraekae, and they were just friends. There was fondness between them, and Jadis cared for the icy elf, and she knew that Vraekae cared for her, too, in her own way. But they were not in love, and they never would be. That didn’t stop them from enjoying some good fucking, though. Nor did that lack of love stop Jadis from impregnating Vraekae, at the woman’s request. Their relationship was certainly atypical, but it was a good one, she thought, and even though Vraekae wasn’t one of her wives, they were connected in their own sort of bond, and that was more than enough.

So, being a “friend” wasn’t the problem. After all, Jadis saw all of her lovers as friends anyway. Most of them had been friends to start, and their relationships had evolved with time into love. Then, what was the issue? A lack of spark? Some ephemeral connection that instinctually told Jadis they while she liked Cora, and Cora liked her, they just wouldn’t ever be in love with each other? Well, that was true in so much as Jadis did feel that they were not falling in love. She and Cora didn’t seem to be attached that way, and that was fine. There were lots of people, lots of women, that Jadis knew that she didn’t have any potential to fall in love with, and that was entirely normal. But why did that mean that she wasn’t interested in having sex with Cora?

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Truthfully, Jadis couldn’t say she wasn’t interested. Cora was a beautiful woman, with a wonderful personality on top. If Jadis had met her on campus or at a party or wherever back on Earth, she could easily see herself starting a fling with her. Maybe they’d date, maybe they’d keep it to a friends-with-benefits status, but Jadis did not think she would have hesitated to pull that pretty priestess’ pants down and go to town.

But she wasn’t on Earth, was she?

That was the problem, wasn’t it? Jadis wasn’t just Jadis, not anymore. She was the Last of the Nephilim, the Champion of D, Lyssandria’s beloved child, and whatever other epithet someone might decide to label her with. There was a power dynamic between her and Cora that would not have existed if she were just a normal human, and that difference wasn’t small. There was no issue with fucking Vraekae, despite the fact that they were just friends, because Vraekae was a powerful and self-assured leader who treated Jadis as an equal. Cora didn’t. Cora didn’t just like Jadis, she also saw her as an important religious figure. The idea of being intimate with someone who saw her as something to be revered, or perhaps even more… that felt dangerous to Jadis, and she could feel her instincts shying away from the possibility.

Jadis honestly couldn’t help but groan with frustration over her own hypocrisy. On one side, she had felt disappointed that Amarantha hadn’t given up her old body just for a chance to have sex with her. On the other side, she was freaking out over the possibility that a woman who desperately wanted to have sex with her might revere her too much. What the fuck was the difference?

It had taken slow, careful, and deliberate contemplation, but eventually Jadis found the answer. The difference was, Amarantha’s gesture felt like it was directed towards Jadis, the person. Cora’s admiration felt like it was directed towards Jadis, the idea. While it was hard to parse, there was a difference, and it was a powerful one. More importantly, it was a starting point, one that Jadis could finally speak to, once she had found it. Which was exactly what she did, the very next morning.

“Hey Cora,” Jay softly called out to the woman. “Can I have a moment?”

“Most certainly, Lady Jadis,” the priestess smiled up at her with a sparkle in her eye. “How can I help you?”

“Just Jadis is still fine, Cora,” Jay grinned and shook her head. “But I wanted to have a private word with you, if that’s alright?”

“Of course,” she responded easily, though her expression showed some puzzlement. “As you wish.”

Cora rose from her seat, and Jay led the priestess towards the back of the airship, beyond the boxes of supplies that were carefully stacked in neat rows.

Tegwyn and his team had boarded the Roc that morning and had taken flight, heading for the Dryad’s grove. In point of fact, they were actually heading to the Hall of Memories, where they would be dropping off supplies as well as delivering Rolo to Techne’s care. The existence of the archives was still being kept a carefully guarded secret, though, so for the public eye they were going to the Dryads. In point of fact, the Roc was still going to stop at the grove. They were going to be picking up several Dryad volunteers who would be joining the war effort in Volto, as well as a load of donated fresh fruits and vegetables that the grove had grown for the people of Thracina. Tegwyn in particular was looking forward to meeting Soteria and the rest of Meli’s family, but he and his entire team were handling the mission instead of Jadis’ lovers since everyone else had other preparations to attend to.

Jadis, however, had made sure to join the Roc on its flight, as she needed to have a heart-to-heart talk with the pretty brunette priestess who she had spent so much time thinking about the previous night.

Taking a seat on a sturdy crate at the back of the airship, Jay motioned for Cora to sit across from her. With her Dys self in the cockpit with Tegwyn and Orla, and her Syd self staying in the main cabin to make sure everyone kept to the front of the airship, Jay gave her full attention to the priestess. Cora sat daintily on the wooden box she had been offered and folded her hands in her lap, waiting patiently with a smile for Jadis to begin the conversation.

“Do you want to have sex with me?”

Cora’s demure poise faltered as her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped at Jay’s abrupt and unprecedented question. Blinking, she took a few seconds to compose the mix of shock and excitement that was clearly boiling over inside her.

“I—I would be honored to share even a moment of intimacy with you,” Cora replied, her voice cracking slightly as she struggled with her emotions. “Are you—do you wish to—right now…?”

“Not here and now, no,” Jay calmly corrected. Cora looked vaguely disappointed by the denial but still seemed eager. “Thank you. My follow up question is: why do you want to have sex with me?”

Cora opened her mouth to immediately respond but paused before the first syllable could leave her lips. Slowly closing her mouth, she regarded Jay carefully, her hazel eyes showing that she was taking the question far more seriously than she had a mere moment before.

“If I were to say because you are divinely attractive, that would be the wrong answer, wouldn’t it?” Cora said with a measured tone.

“It would only be wrong if it wasn’t true,” Jay replied instantly. “I want your honest answer. Nothing else.”

“Well, that is my honest answer,” the priestess stated firmly. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon, and my loins burn with heat every time you enter my gaze. I want to worship your body with my hands, my lips, my tongue… I want to ride upon you for a night and a day, and then three more for good measure.”

Taking a moment to suppress the intense flash of lust that had come over her, Cora took a long breath to compose herself.

“But I admit, my carnal desire is not the only reason.”

Jay waited quietly while Cora searched for the right words.

“I… I wish to be with you because you are a piece of my goddess. You are the Child of Lyssandria, the last piece of her divine presence left in the world. To be close to you, to serve you, to be with you… It would be like being with her.”

Taking her own deep breath, Jay plunged forward with what she already knew she had to say. She just hoped that Cora would be able to meet her on even ground. Otherwise, there was nowhere else for them to go but their separate ways.

“I don’t want to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with me,” Jay stated with unwavering certainty.

“But I do—”

“No, you don’t,” Jay held up one hand to silence Cora’s objection. “You want to have sex with a Nephilim. You want to have sex with the being that symbolizes your goddess. You want to have sex with what you believe I represent. But that isn’t me. Not all of me, at least.”

Reaching out and taking Cora by the hand, Jay leaned forward, looking deep into the priestess’ eyes.

“Cora. If I wasn’t a Nephilim, would you still want to have sex with me? Would you have sex with Jadis, the Seraphim? Jadis, the human? Jadis, the Demon?”

It was the question that mattered most between them. Jadis knew for a fact that for every single one of her lovers, her race didn’t matter. If she were any other species, if she had any other powers, if she was short or tall, white or black, a Demon or an Angel, they would still love her. They saw her as Jadis. Not the Last Nephilim, not the Champion of D, and not as a figure of reverence or worship. She was just Jadis.

To her credit, Cora didn’t answer immediately. She thought about Jadis’ question, mulling over her answer for several minutes. Jay waited, holding the woman’s hand the whole while, watching the thoughts play across her face. Cora stared down at their hands, unmoving, before eventually giving Jay’s fingers a slight squeeze.

“I wouldn’t want to marry you,” Cora announced, her tone bemused. “I mean, you’re fun. I like flirting with you. But to be blunt, you’re far too commanding for me.”

“Commanding?” Jay repeated with one eyebrow raised.

“I know I’m not the most forward person when we are on the battlefield,” Cora laughed lightly, “but that is because war is far and away from where I am comfortable. Quite honestly, I would stay as far away from the field of battle as possible, if my skills as a healer were not needed. I don’t know how you and your lovers do it. My knees shake at the thought of holding a weapon, and yet you all do so as though it were as natural as breathing. Even Lady Eir stands at your side while you fight. I know I could not ever do as she does.”

Looking up at Jay, her expression turned from serious to mischievous.

“But what I meant by commanding is the dynamic between lovers. When in the bedroom, I am usually the one to take the lead with those I share pleasure with. Playing with a shy, bashful, trembling flower until she blossoms beneath my ministrations… Oh, there’s something I just adore about the nervous ones.”

Jay laughed, her grinning broadly at the smiling priestess. 𝚏𝐫𝚎𝗲𝕨𝐞𝐛𝕟𝚘𝐯𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝗺

“That’s a very poetic way of saying that you’re a top who really likes teasing bottoms.”

“A top?” Cora tilted her head to one side, her smiling widening. “Yes, that is a nicely descriptive word, isn’t it? I love being on top. Especially when my partner is, what did you call it? A bottom?”

“I need to keep you away from Thea,” Jay mused. “You would terrorize her.”

“Likely true. But not Eir?” Cora questioned. “She always seemed so pliant to me.”

“Eir is what I call a ‘power bottom,’ actually. She’ll surprise you with how she takes control unexpectedly.”

“Ooh, that might be quite fun,” the priestess’ eyes twinkled. “I wonder which of us would be left standing in the end, so to speak.”

The two of them shared a private laugh at the lewd thought before Cora’s expression turned calm and composed once again.

“I don’t love you, Jadis,” she said. “But I do like you. And I do mean I like you. I don’t think I can separate you from your status as a Nephilim, but I do like you, for you.”

Letting out a small chuckle, she shook her head.

“If you had been born a human, I think you and I would have been a dangerous duo among Lyssandria’s priestesses. There is no telling how many beds we might have conquered.”

“I think you might be right about that,” Jay admitted with her own chuckle.

Taking a moment to compose her own thoughts, Jay smiled before gently lifting Cora’s hand before her.

“Now that we understand each other,” she said with her most wicked grin, “Cora, would you be willing to join me and my wives for an orgy? As a friend?”

Dipping her head low in an overly exaggerated curtsy, Cora restrained her grin while replying in her most formal tone.

“Why, Lady Jadis, I thought you would never ask.”