Reincarnated as a Genius Mage-Chapter 53: Air Breathing Technique

"Did he deserve it?" Jennette asks me. Her voice is unexpectedly calm despite the heavy information I just relayed to her.

"He was a man who had done despicable things for the vague sake of change." I reply, my voice shaky, barely above a whisper. My head’s low, looking down on the wooden floorboard as I’m sitting on my bed.

"Hmmmm, Ed, this.. How do I put it.. let me just say it plainly— don’t let it consume you." she suddenly says, her voice’s low but it’s also soft.

"What do you mean?" I ask, genuinely curious, and my eyes snap— flickering to her direction. She’s sitting on her bed— clipping her toe nails.

"I mean exactly what I mean. Do you forget? I have lived the life of a mercenary, Ed. I know all about that life, and I know exactly how it feels, and how you’re feeling. I don’t even know why you chose this life.

We could be living a calm and peaceful life, but you decided to— for whatever reason— live the life of a mercenary.

And that reason that’s driving you.. it’s making you desperate. The desperation. It’s raw, it’s sometimes visible on your face, and It shows in every step you take." she speaks in a straightforward tone, and her voice is calm. As if she’s talking about a normal topic.

She shrugs, "and you can choose to ignore me, but.. I just want to tell you. The life of a mercenary.. this sour and gritty life that you chose. You’d experience more of this feeling sinking in your chest right now. Even worse than that. So steel yourself. And don’t let that desperation consume you."

What is she talking about? Desperation? Desperation! Desperation. Me? Well, yes. But is it really visible? Or is Jennette the only one that notices it?

But, it’s not something I can help. I need to get stronger, it’s the only way back.

"Honestly, what you did was pretty stupid— going straight for a C-rank task immediately you got your license. You’re supposed to start with small tasks your rank. Kill little monsters, find things, and other small stuff.

That way, your tolerance to the sight of blood— of killing itself, will gradually increase. But no! You chose to go for a C-rank task." She lets out a weary sigh, "I have nothing else to say to you, Ed. Except— steel yourself, and don’t let your desperation consume you."

She.. she’s not wrong.. she’s actually right.

"Jennette.." I call, my voice’s soft, I don’t know if it’s from fatigue or the guilt that I feel. And my head droops low as my head faces the floor again. My eyes outline the pattern of the wood. Counting the number of small ants that March past my leg.

The smell of charred flesh still hasn’t cleared from my nose. But..

"I’m sor—"

"Goodnight Ed. Get some rest. You overworked yourself today." She says. I guess she doesn’t want to hear me apologize.

"Yeah, you’re right. Goodnight." I say as I rest my head on my palm.

What am I doing? Is this the right way? Is this.. is this unavoidable? Is this the only way to grow stronger? To go back? Must it be like this? Am I being too desperate? Am I worrying too much? Being unnecessarily rash?

"It’s not like I wanted to do this.. I didn’t want to be here. I would have been comfortable with just dying back on Earth.." I whisper. My voice is only loud enough for me to hear myself.

If I was to reincarnate. Then I should have done so without my memories. Yes, it’d have been better that way. But.. There’s nothing I can do about it now. Now that I’m here, I have to do what I can to go back.

Yes, it doesn’t matter what it is.

But...

At the end of all of it, would I remain Edward.. or would I be something else?

The sheets rumple as I climb up to my bed. And I lie down. My head facing upward toward the ceiling, and my thoughts spiraling.

That’s enough, Edward. You have only one goal, and it doesn’t matter what you become in the process of achieving it.

It turns out the guild didn’t give me any reward for my task today. I also didn’t rank up at all. It was the punishment for having killed Raiden. So, I still have to grind tasks.. I’ll do so starting from tomorrow.

I’ve not even had the time to learn the breathing technique Jennette gave me back in Loks path. I’ll start learning it from tomorrow, and then grind E rank tasks at night. Yeah. That’s what I’d do.

***

"Haha.. thank you, Jennette." My voice is hushed— a low whisper. My palms tightly clench the book that contains the air breathing technique Jennette gave me.

It contains not only the breathing technique, but formulas for basic first circle air spells.

And as I’ve mastered the breathing technique— under two hours by the way— the affinity of the mana in my circle is different.

I’m sitting cross-legged on the sand in the training grounds of the mercenary guild. And the gentle, warm breeze blows against my skin. My bangs flutter against my mask subtly. And the harsh rays of the afternoon sun splatters on my body.

I’m wearing my robe. But somehow the heat’s still piercing through it. I thought it was supposed to be fire proof. Tch.

I gently drop the book on the ground next to me.

And I shut my eyes tight.

My consciousness moves— circulating round my body, and I feel everything in my body; the cells, the organs, the blood rushing with moderate speed, and my circle made of the Flame of Eternity.

The mana in my circle— they’re of two elements; Air, and Fire. The flame elemental mana makes up more than half of the mana in my first circle. And the Air mana is subtle, not even up to a quarter. It’s because I just started gathering Air mana with the breathing technique minutes ago.

Hmm, it seems that my first circle is almost filled up. But it doesn’t matter if it’s filled up or not. I can’t let my second circle form yet. I still need training, and that damn enlightenment.

"Hooo." A long exhale leaves my mouth as I open my eyes.

First things first. I need to upgrade my flame spells arsenal, that means learning new formulas, where do they even get those? And also, I need to master this air spell formula Jennette left in this book, and I also need to get some more spells in my arsenal.

"This is why I hate magic theory.." I mutter under my breath. And then I stand up slowly with a grunt, "well, time to train a little before I grind E-rank tasks this night." I whisper as I start learning the air spell formulas.

After this I’ll start polishing my fiery discord and see if I can leave more than a dent on the wooden dummy this time.

And then I’ll...

"..."

"Pfft", a soft chuckle leaves my mouth, "so much to do. And I overheard the mercenaries talking about the arrival of the five S-rank mercenaries of the guild. I’m gonna find out more about that." I nod.

Yeah, that’s just it. Step by step. The process of progression can be an enjoyable thing too.

The source of this c𝐨ntent is freewe(b)nov𝒆l