Second Try Idol-Chapter 428: Goodbye and Promise (3)

This chapter is updated by freēwēbnovel.com.

Even though I had lost my dreams because of an accident and lived a life isolated from my former members, I shouldn't have blamed them or made them feel guilty for it. Back then, I was too overwhelmed to pay attention to my surroundings and to know how sorry the members felt for me. However, I pretended not to notice and stubbornly lived as if I were the most unfortunate person in the world.

It was only after coming here and regaining my senses that I realized how miserably engulfed in despair I had been. I came to understand how much the members truly valued me. I had treated the members, who cherished me so dearly, in a terrible manner.

“All I want to say is that I am okay now. You've done nothing wrong, so don't feel sorry."

Silence fell. The first to break the stillness was Joo-Han. “I’m sorry, Hyun-Woo. But we never pitied you."

“...What?"

Joo-Han continued speaking calmly without any change in expression, but his words were not what I had expected. “It was Jin-Sung who thought it was all his fault and felt sorry toward you, not us," he said firmly.

This made me wonder why they had seemed so uneasy around me all this time. Why did they act as if they had wronged me? Why did they go to such lengths to meet up and talk to me?

I had always assumed their behavior stemmed from guilt over debuting without me. In fact, Jin-Sung had often apologized so much that it was almost too much to bear.

Joo-Han seemed to try to clarify things for me as he saw the confusion building up in my thoughts. “We just wanted to see you, and that's why we reached out."

Goh Yoo-Joon nodded silently while looking at me. “I did feel sorry for you. It would be a lie to say otherwise, but that wasn't the only reason we kept coming to see you."

“Then why...?"

“Why do you think so? We just wanted to see you." Goh Yoo-Joon grumbled irritably. “Since you’re such a high-maintenance guy who ignores calls and texts, what choice did I have but to visit?"

“It would have been nice to talk more comfortably, but that’s too bad."

“Ah, so that’s it," I replied, slightly stunned.

Joo-Han nodded and smiled. “Does this mean you’re finally ready to talk to us?"

“...Yeah, I guess?" It wasn't until I responded clearly that the stern expressions on Joo-Han and Goh Yoo-Joon's faces softened. It felt like a long time since I'd seen such relaxed looks on their faces after that accident.

“Since you've been honest with us, I will be honest with you," Joo-Han began. “Life without you in Elated was honestly very hard. More than hard—it was torturous."

He sighed deeply, and his face was etched with regret. “From the moment you left because of the accident and we had to debut on our own, there hasn't been a single joyous moment that we shared."

He recounted the moments they had achieved without me. The dreamed-of debut, popular variety shows, their first concert, international tours, and chart-topping hits... Despite accomplishing so much, there was always a lingering sadness that had been too unbearable.

“We were very loved, but it always felt like we shouldn't have accepted such love. It was like building a career by stepping over one of our members."

“...”

A surge of inexplicable emotions made me sway back and forth as I listened.

Goh Yoo-Joon chimed in, agreeing with Joo-Han. “I don't know how you saw us at that time, but it felt like there was always an empty spot right up until we disbanded. I'm not just saying this, that’s really how it was."

His words were heartfelt. Why would he bother with pleasantries now, when this was possibly our last real conversation? I was merely stunned. The members had felt my absence that deeply? I had no idea.

‘I was just...’

I thought I was just a burden and a lump of trauma that they had no choice but to carry. Now, of course, I understood how much they valued me. But to hear that they couldn't find joy while they had been part of Elated was shocking.

“But I'm not telling you this to make you understand now," he continued.

“...”

“I’m telling you this to let you know how much you meant to us. Maybe you know this by now, but I still wanted to make sure you hear it from me directly. Because this is my last chance to say it," Joo-Han concluded.

The atmosphere turned markedly somber. It wasn't just me feeling it. Goh Yoo-Joon’s expression had especially turned remarkably dark. Throughout Joo-Han's speech, he seemed visibly restless, fidgeting in a way that made me lose focus on what was being said.

‘What's up with him?’ His distractions kept pulling my attention away until Joo-Han sighed heavily and fell silent. He then gestured to Goh Yoo-Joon. “Got something to say? Then just say it. Why all the hesitation?"

“Hey, hyung...! It’s just that... You were talking, so I was listening," Goh Yoo-Joon replied, but it seemed like he had been holding back on talking by waiting for the right moment. “I really tried meeting with you because I wanted to talk to you."

“I know."

“I didn’t do it just to apologize or anything. I just wanted to reconcile, to hang out and talk like we used to. You are pretty much the only friend I’ve got, right?"

His words made me unintentionally laugh. In this world, just like in the Elated timeline, the guy who seemed like he had the most friends always said I was his only friend. I was not oblivious to what Goh Yoo-Joon meant by 'friend.’

“...Now we can finally talk the way I've wanted to," he added, but for some reason, this made Joo-Han's expression turn stern.

“...It took years for us to be able to have a proper conversation, and now this...” Goh Yoo-Joon covered his head with his hands in frustration. “Why do we have to make such choices... I just wanted to keep being your friend.”

“What do you mean?"

“I wanted to stay by your side as your friend, but why do I have to make this kind of choice..." His strange behavior confused me, and I looked at Joo-Han, who shook his head, signaling to let it be. He addressed both of us simultaneously.

“Hyun-Woo, we've promised to make any choice that’s best for you."

“Hyung?"

“Even if it's a painful choice for us, it’s you who will suffer again if we act selfishly."

“Hold on... Wait, I don’t really understand. What are you talking about?"

“I just don’t want you to live a life filled with suffering ever again."

Goh Yoo-Joon looked up at Joo-Han, very emotional. They had been clearly discussing something significant before I walked in, and I happened to interrupt them at a critical moment.

Joo-Han turned away from Goh Yoo-Joon and looked at me. “If we go back now, we have our careers well-established, and colleagues to share the pain with. Your absence will make it much tougher than before, but we will manage to get by soon enough."

His carefully phrased words seemed directed more at Goh Yoo-Joon than at me. “Hyun-Woo, as long as you’re happy and comfortable with the members, that alone would make me incredibly happy."

Just then, Goh Yoo-Joon stood up abruptly. He glared at Joo-Han and stormed out of the studio.

“...Why is he acting like that?"

Joo-Han shrugged, feigning ignorance, but it seemed like he was quite upset with Goh Yoo-Joon.

“Why did he make a scene and ruin the mood?" I asked.

“Let him be. He will sort himself out by tomorrow," Joo-Han suggested dismissively. He gave a wry smile and shook his head. “It looks like Yoo-Joon doesn’t want to part ways with you. I feel the same, but..."

“But... But even if we don’t want to separate, we must. Isn’t that inevitable? After a certain time, you guys have to return to your original world, right?" I was confused and a bit helpless about this inevitable part, wondering how to even approach Joo-Han about it.

...Wait a minute. A sudden thought crossed my mind. "Is there a choice not to go back?" I asked.

Joo-Han only shrugged again. “I don’t know. Don’t you have a shoot with Yoo-Joon tomorrow? Why don’t you ask him then?”

It was hard to figure out his theory.

Joo-Han muttered to himself and thumped his chest with his fist. “This is really frustrating. It’s not right."

I watched the chair that Goh Yoo-Joon had kicked over before he left. If they had to choose whether to go back to their original world, the creator god was being truly cruel to us. If that was the case, I could fully understand why Goh Yoo-Joon was so upset.

“But let's talk about you now, Hyun-Woo. How was your life as a trainer? What was it like with Chronos?"

Joo-Han changed the subject and began to ask me about various aspects of my life. I answered Joo-Han’s questions one by one, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of something stuck deep inside me. The look of distress and injustice on Goh Yoo-Joon’s face earlier deeply affected me. Tomorrow might be busy with Eden’s concert practice and with Goh Yoo-Joon acting as my manager for the day. It was also likely the day Joo-Han and Goh Yoo-Joon would return to their original world.

'I don’t know if we will get a chance to have a personal conversation.'

I hoped I could ask Goh Yoo-Joon about his decisions and his thoughts.