SILVER-HAIRED-Chapter 137: Insignificant

Nicklaus didn’t know what to do or what to say, he could only hold her as she cried. His body remained still, his heart ached as each sound of cry came off her. He hadn’t realized such pain was within her, if only he understood what was bothering her sooner, he would have stopped these tears, what was he to do now? He was the one who caused her pain, how would he stop it. He felt helpless, he felt unhinged.

She pulled away from him, using the back of her hand to dry her tears. He wanted to say something but the words wouldn’t come off and thus he remained still like a wall. Watching her gloom, she was sad, she was hurt and he could see it all and it only just made his heart sink even further.

She sniffled not uttering a word either, remaining where she was and not reaching for him, she didn’t meet his eyes and he pained him so, she wasn’t sparing him a glance like she didn’t want to. His mind raced when she turned to leave.

"I cannot give you children"

She came to a halt but did not turn to him. His jaw tightened. "As much as it pains me to say but that is the truth... I’m sorry for not asking or understanding... I thought you might have..." he sighed heavily. "I’m sorry my love", he sauntered toward her, but he didn’t know if he should reach for her or not, he could only just stand behind her.

"It is not your fault Nicklaus" her voice in a whisper, and then she walks away to the bed. Nicklaus’ sad eyes remained on her watching as she laid herself to bed, using the sheets to cover herself.

Nicklaus tore his eyes away, his expression changed, he walked out of the chambers, the doors slamming shut behind him. He sauntered through the hall running his hands through his hair in frustration. His body was itching and his nerves unsettled.

"Nicklaus!"

His head snapped to Celeste who quickly sauntered towards him. "The weather is bloody fierce out there, are you alright?", she was worried, for the weather said it all, Nicklaus was unstable right now, she pondered what made him so.

"You showed her the bloody Birth Tree!"

She came to a pause. "She has every right to know"

"Have you forgotten!" he yelled.

She jumped slightly at his tone, Nicklaus sighed, rubbing his temples. "Have you forgotten she is Mortal, there are things she cannot handle?" he said more politely this time but the rage was within them.

"Alas Nicklaus I know that very well... the earlier she comes to terms with it the better"

"Never in my entire life have I felt incapable of giving her heart desires... she desires what I cannot give, what I do not need, and what I have never thought of"

Her eyes were saddened at his words, Nicklaus was never the restless type, only one woman can do this to him.

"Nicklaus," she began. "Calm down"

"I cannot!" he snarled at her, his eyes were sad and he was confused. She was surprised he even found out now, she thought Yelena must have discussed seeing the Birth Tree with him the moment she did, but she kept it to herself, was she considering him instead of herself?

"The Mother goddess has done nothing but keep us apart... I have a feeling she’s still trying to cause a rift"

"What are you saying?"

He faced her. "A mere coincidence that she was reincarnated? I think not, not only did her own mother put her in that bloody trial but made her Mortal so that she can desire things that are insignificant,"

"We do not know if this is part of her plan... you both have broken the curse, and she’s yet to know where she is. Keeping that unknown is the only way we can protect her. So Nicklaus don’t drag her into this, you will only hurt more"

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"A mere coincidence that she was reincarnated? I think not, not only did her own mother put her on that bloody trail but made her Mortal so that she can desire things that are insignificant,"

His words shot through my head like a bullet. Insignificant? Did he consider it such? I scoffed.

"We do not know if this is part of her plan... you both have broken the curse, and she’s yet to know where she is. Keeping that unknown is the only way we can protect her. So Nicklaus don’t drag her into this, you will only hurt more"

It was Celeste’s voice this time. I was behind the wall unnoticed, my back slid down the wall as I squat, burying my hands in my face, the tears threatened to fall but I held it back, what was I to do? what was I to think or how to act I didn’t know. All I knew was confusion and all I knew was we were BOTH hurting.

Nicklaus didn’t come to bed later that night, I was left alone in the chamber and it has never felt so empty and cold. His choice to give me some space or avoid me I couldn’t tell, we had a very sensitive topic and we were both hurting in our own way.

Nicklaus considered having children insignificant, gods never considered such, all they had was to spend eternity with one another. But will I be able to ever accept that? Wish I was a goddess right now maybe just maybe I wouldn’t desire such. I was Mortal in a realm full of vampires that would never desire what I really wanted, I guess this is the path I choose, the price I have to pay for loving Nicklaus and it didn’t seem fair.

Maybe he was right, maybe my so-called mother was still tormenting us still. I pondered why our relationship became as sullied as this, I remembered her words in my head once when I broke the trial, she seemed very strict but I knew I can’t really judge when I have no memory of her.

I groaned out loud as my body flinched in pain, what was that? That sudden intense pain overwhelmed me. I turned on the wide bed and it has never felt hollow than ever, I wished he would have at least considered coming to bed, I wasn’t so sure I could sleep right now.

That flinch of pain came once again and I have never felt so hot, which was odd because this place was as cold as the north and even colder this evening, but I felt like I was on fire. Frustrated, I pulled the covers off my body, trying at least to reduce the hotness but it only became worse.

I panted as I got off the bed, what was happening to me? Why was I so hot, I wasn’t sweating, I was freakishly hot from the inside and it made me unstable, I need something cold, something very cold, I stripped away from my silk nighty sauntering the bath hall, I needed to get inside that bath fast or I might lose it.

I quickly entered the bath which was by surprise cold, so cold like ice, exactly what I needed for my burning skin. I sighed in relief at the cold water against my skin but the hotness remained from within.

I groaned, shifting uncomfortably within the water. gods, what was happening to me? I forced my body off the bath lying on the floor and crouching in discomfort, my heart slamming rapidly in my chest, I moaned trying to get comfortable but I wasn’t, my vision became extremely blurry, I pant trying to calm my unstable breath.

"N-Nicklaus" I groaned in pain. My eyes shut close and my mind traveled to a very familiar scene.

A forest and me as goddess Yelena and three beautiful animals. I gasped in realization for I remembered it now but how come I forget such an important detail and why.

Puma, Ava, and Gideon led me through the path of the forest, they have said they saw a monster? Everything before my view was from my peripheral vision, I thought to observe myself and I saw a white paw, WHAT?

And now I realize I was walking funny, on all fours? and I felt furry and gods, was it a wonderful feeling and then an idea struck me, I was in my fox form.

"It’s here Lady Yelena," Ava said hopping into the opening and then I saw where the birds were clustered and they cleared at my present and I saw a man? judging from the Physique it was a man but I couldn’t see further.

"Yelena!"

I gasped awake, flashing my eyes open and I was met with worried green eyes. Nicklaus held unto me like the world was about to end, bringing my naked form to his body.

"What happened, are you alright?", he felt my body. "You’re burning up"

"W-What’s happening to me?"