Standing Next To You-Chapter 309: When I do, may I live without regrets

Chapter 309: When I do, may I live without regrets freēwēbnovel.com

Fei Chuan looked at her solemnly. "I’m not asking you to date me because I like you. It’s because...I might regret it later if I don’t. Besides, I might find an answer as to why you keep appearing in my mind."

Bei Sangyun was speechless. "Isn’t that the same as you liking me?"

Fei Chuan’s ears burned red. "No... it’s different."

Bei Sangyun blinked. How could it be different?

He said he couldn’t stop thinking about her, that he didn’t want to see her sad and hurt. He’d rather have her than let others have her. And he wanted to remain by her side—

Bei Sangyun paused. She looked at Fei Chuan in surprise.

The man’s face was still burning, but despite his flustered appearance, there was strength and determination in his gaze.

Bei Sangyun’s heart thumped fast.

"...Then... do you perhaps... lov—"

Fei Chuan suddenly placed his hand over Bei Sangyun’s mouth, preventing her from saying any more words.

"Don’t jump to conclusions. This is new to me. I don’t know what to do with this feeling. And my mind is in chaos right now. But there’s one thing I know. I don’t want to regret anything when it comes to you."

Bei Sangyun stared at him. Looking at those sincere, determined, and anxious eyes of his, Bei Sangyun’s heart softened.

Right. It took them a lifetime to come to this.

And it also took her a long time to understand what it meant to like someone.

For Fei Chuan, she arrived like a meteor, so sudden and overwhelming. His peaceful and orderly life became disorderly and chaotic because of her.

This must be tough and overwhelming for Fei Chuan.

As he said, everything was new to him.

Bei Sangyun tilted her head and softly kissed his palm. She was happy. Fei Chuan finally opened up his heart for her.

Fei Chuan froze, and the roots of his ears and his neck turned even redder, as if blood would come out of them.

He withdrew his hand hurriedly as if he had been scalded.

Bei Sangyun smiled. Her eyes were full of joy. "Fine. I accept that explanation. Let’s figure everything out slowly. Together."

*****

It was the season of blooming flowers and spring breeze. Fallen leaves scattered everywhere as a white-haired man rolled his wheelchair to a stop in front of a well-groomed grave.

The passage of time and sickness etched lines on the man’s face, but traces of his youth’s handsomeness still lingered.

Twenty years ago, whenever he gazed at the gloomy grave, his eyes would fill with sadness and regrets. But now, though hints of regret remained, his gaze was clear.

"This might be my last visit. Will you mind if I stay with you until the sun sets?"

The spring breeze tousled the white hair of the old man.

He looked up at the clear blue sky.

"Today’s weather is good. Heaven finally agrees with me for once." The white-haired man smiled as he closed his eyes. The sun’s rays warmed his face, enveloping the area in a gentle glow.

Only the sound of wind passing and the rustling of fallen leaves filled the serene atmosphere, taking the white-haired man on a journey through his memories.

Many years had passed, yet ’she’ remained vivid in his mind.

He recalled the scene of her seated in the corner, immersed in books. Her furrowed brow while munching on cookies. Her tears and the force with which she pushed him away.

Despite her little frame, her gaze exuded maturity and wisdom.

Perhaps it was the strength emanating from that petite body that initially captivated him. The memory of that little girl lingered, burdened by the guilt he carried into his teenage years.

And then fate intervened, bringing them together once more.

She grew aloof, cold, and undeniably strong and beautiful. She shone brightly, commanding the attention and admiration of everyone. People couldn’t help but follow her.

Though they occupied the same space, they seemed worlds apart, and like the others, his eyes couldn’t help but follow her.

The fleeting glances, the brief encounters, each etched into his memory. Even the painful moments left an indelible mark.

Yet amidst the bitterness, her fleeting expressions of concern were like soothing balms. Brief yet profoundly impactful.

And then, years later, their paths converged again.

Despite the passage of time, he had never once forgotten her. Seeing her again reignited the fire he thought had died long ago, burning fiercely within him.

He was no longer the pitiful loser discreetly glancing at her from afar.

He was someone who could meet her eye to eye, argue with her toe-to-toe. She was the sun, and he was the moon. Both of them ruled the sky.

He sought her out, yearning for her attention. He played tricks to turn her gaze towards him. He was satisfied even the glances she cast at him were fierce and harsh. Like a masochist, he craved them.

And when he lost sight of that burning sun, he couldn’t bear it. He also lost his own shine and shriveled, as the person who illuminated him was now gone.

The white-haired man journeyed down memory lane.

Why had it taken him so long to understand what he truly wanted?

It was clear—he had fallen deeply, sinking even deeper as time passed.

But now, it was all too late.

He opened his eyes.

Only when you lose someone can you truly understand their significance.

With a sad smile, he murmured, "Bei Sangyun, without you, this world is nothing but a hollow shell." He looked up at the sky. "Heavens, please let me be reborn where she is."

"And when I do, may I live without regrets."

The wind passed and silence resumed.

The white-haired man chuckled sadly. "What things I am saying..."

He glanced at the grave again with a soft and affectionate gaze.

The white-haired man stayed until the sun set. And he never once moved again.

As the sky slowly darkened, the silhouette of a woman began to take shape. ’It’ stood beside the motionless man. Slowly, it bent and embraced the shadow of the man in the wheelchair.

Their silhouettes merged, intertwined, and were swallowed by the approaching night.