Sweet Hatred-Chapter 213: Love or Leash?

His jaw locked.

I hated how small my voice sounded. I wasn’t even trying to sound accusatory. I was just trying to understand.

"You had eyes on me," I whispered. "The moment I walked into that suite the first night... you knew."

He still didn’t speak.

"Kael." My voice cracked this time. "Say something."

He exhaled through his nose like he’d been holding in a scream. His voice came out low. Flat. Dangerous.

"I told Niko to keep an eye on you."

I should’ve expected it. I did expect it. But it still hit different hearing it out loud. Like something broke open inside my chest and the air came rushing out.

"For your safety," he added. "And for my sanity. I needed to know what Ash was planning. And then you walked into that place like you already belonged to her."

I blinked. "Belonged to—?"

He turned to me fully, and I flinched—not because he raised his voice or his hand, but because of what I saw in his eyes.

Rage.

Not the cold, measured kind he wielded in meetings. Not the kind he used to make grown men piss themselves in boardrooms.

No. This was personal.

This was a different monster entirely.

"You didn’t tell me she approached you," he said, voice low. Controlled. "You didn’t say a word about that suite, about that meeting, and now my father’s fucking men pulling up on you and dragging you off."

"How was I supposed to know that would happen?" I snapped, my voice sharp, trembling. "And what was I supposed to do? Call you at every goddamn inconvenience? Cry for help when someone breathes too close? I can handle myself, Kael."

"That’s not the point, Aria," he said, his voice breaking into something cracked. "That’s why I’m here."

And that’s when the bastard’s words came rushing back like venom down my spine.

"He pretends to cherish. But consumes instead. He presses until they break. And you, you’re breaking already, aren’t you?"

I couldn’t breathe. Why was I letting his words get to me?

Kael presence, all that rage and heat and care twisted into something I couldn’t hold, was suddenly too much. Too close. Too everywhere.

"I want to get down," I whispered.

He didn’t move.

His jaw clenched like he was chewing down the urge to scream. And then his voice dropped. Softer. Raw.

"Why are you doing this Aria?"

I turned my face away.

"I told you I’d handle Ashlyn. I told you I’d fix it."

His tone wasn’t cold anymore. It wasn’t calculated.

It was the kind of vulnerable that made me want to claw my skin off.

The kind that made me want to believe him. The kind I couldn’t afford to believe.

Because believing him meant hope. And hope meant pain. And I didn’t think I could take any more. I felt ridiculous. Like an emotionally stunted teenager who didn’t know how to express herself.

If I told him I loved him, then this would end right?

It sounded so easy and yet the words refused to come out of me. Like saying them would ruin everything rather than fix it. Because what if Kael couldn’t love me the way I needed it. What if I continued to feel suffocated like this. Or worst what if he never felt anything other than the satisfaction I gave him.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but then his phone rang.

He declined it without even looking.

It rang again.

"Kael," I whispered. "Just... answer it. We’ll talk later."

He ignored it. Again.

And when I reached for the door handle, he caught my wrist.

Not hard. Not rough. Just enough to stop me.

"I know you don’t want to talk to me," he said, looking into me like he could feel everything burning under my skin. "But stop pretending you’re made of stone. You don’t always have to act tough, Aria."

That one hit. Low. I felt my pride bleeding.

I yanked my hand free and looked at him, really looked. The way his shoulders were tight like he’d been holding in pain for days. The way his green eyes never left mine like he was memorizing me in case I disappeared.

The way he still saw me.

Even when I wished he didn’t.

I didn’t respond. I didn’t need to. The silence between us was thick enough.

He exhaled hard through his nose, then said quietly, "I’ll drop you off."

And for once... I didn’t fight it.

But I didn’t speak either. This whole thing was truly ridiculous and still I could feel skin and bones hurting from the things I refused to say.

I just stared out the window, holding myself together by a thread, wondering if maybe I already broke and just hadn’t noticed yet.

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Kael’s car rolled to a stop in front of my apartment building.

I didn’t move.

I kept my hand on the door handle, but I couldn’t open it. Couldn’t force myself out. Couldn’t force anything out. Not my thoughts. Not my voice. Not even a breath that didn’t feel like it weighed a thousand fucking tons.

I stared out the windshield, watching the blurry glow of a distant streetlight flicker against the glass like it was trying to burn a hole through me.

It couldn’t.

Because there was nothing left to burn.

I thought I loved him.

God, I’d been so sure of it. The way he touched me like he knew me. The way he looked at me like I was the only real thing in a world full of bullshit.

But love... love wasn’t supposed to feel like a leash around your throat.

And maybe this wasn’t love. Maybe it was care. Deep, aching care. Maybe it was longing for a piece of something safe when everything else was on fire.

Because everything was on fire.

Olivia, gone.

Kaleb and Lily, gone too.

My father, alive.

And me?

I was just trying to keep the pieces of my sanity stitched together with bad coping mechanisms and too much pride.

I felt stupid.

I felt like a fucking fool, thinking I could have something real when I’d barely sorted through the trauma clinging to my skin like smoke.

And maybe that was what Kael was. My distraction. My pause button. My false god. Every time I was with him, it was like none of this shit mattered. Like I was someone else. Someone who smiled. Someone who kissed back. Someone who believed in something.

And I liked it.

So much that maybe I tricked myself into thinking it was love.

But love shouldn’t feel like I was constantly gasping for air.

Love shouldn’t make me wonder if I was losing myself.

I let my head fall back against the headrest and shut my eyes, but it didn’t help. My thoughts were still clawing at the back of my skull.

Why couldn’t I figure myself out?

Why did I always feel like I was choking on my own hesitations?

What the fuck was I so afraid of?

Was it pride?

Or was it because the truth was , I was too damaged to be loved properly?

Too hollow inside. Too bruised in the places that mattered.

Maybe it’d be easier if I just... stopped. If I died. If all this weight just sank me for good. No more questions. No more pretending to be okay. No more loving things that were never mine to begin with.

I looked over at Kael.

He hadn’t said anything.

He never did when I got like this. Like he could smell the storm inside me and didn’t know whether to run from it or stand in the middle and let it wreck him too.

"I want the contract to end."

My voice came out too calm. Too light for the way my insides were cracking wide open.

Kael blinked once. Just once.

But it was enough for me to see it.

That shift.

That slow, dangerous shift in his entire body.

Like I’d said something that gutted him, but he wouldn’t bleed. Not here. Not now.

I didn’t look away.

I couldn’t.

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