Ten Thousand Ways To Eliminate Players-Chapter 600,000 People Petition

Several players were live-streaming when they tried to kill Lin Bai, and at least eighty thousand people were watching at the time. Not long after they were wiped out by Lin Bai, video clips from the live-stream had already gone viral across the forums.

...

"@ImmortalWorldOfficial, there’s a bug in the game, hurry up and fix it!"

"Those who said this game was a real world just got their faces slapped swollen! Do people in the real world encounter bugs? Haha, I’m dying of laughter!"

"Awesome! The game company actually simulated an entire world with code—that’s incredible! I’m begging for an open beta as soon as possible, bugs and all."

"As expected of the most popular game globally, even the bugs are this interesting. This is way more fun than wall-glitching or crippled-leg soccer!"

"The Martial Arts effects are so cool! If I’m not mistaken, this should be the first NPC to display Martial Arts, right? These few clips alone could be used as a promotional video."

"Unfortunately, even the Martial Arts are bugged. The dragon he conjured was incomplete. What a shame."

"No wonder the great Dumbelldore willingly clung to an NPC’s coattails. Turns out he’s a hidden NPC! If I encountered such an amazing NPC, forget thirty percent of the shares, I’d gladly give up ten percent!"

"I’d do five percent."

"I wouldn’t want any..."

"I’d even pay him..."

"Alright everyone, stop arguing. Lin Bai is definitely going to be patched. Poor Dumbelldore, I wonder if his lucky streak can continue."

"Doubtful. Lin, the Storekeeper’s identity has been exposed. Once he’s fixed, who knows how many people will want to become his disciple!"

"Why is everyone only focused on the bug? Didn’t anyone listen to what Lin, the Storekeeper, said? His words are so pleasant and delightful, and he’s handsome too! Having a sweet master-disciple romance with an NPC like that would be incredibly interesting. I hope that after the officials fix the bug, they remove his violent tendencies but keep his sweet way of talking..."

"Are there any Players from Jiamucheng online? Please live-stream yourselves provoking Lin, the Storekeeper. I want to see his cool Martial Arts."

"Someone has already posted a new video of Lin, the Storekeeper. No fighting this time, just incredibly charming and pleasant-sounding talk..."

...

"The sunshine is so dim today; your radiance must be outshining the sun!"

"Only the lotus can compare to your sanctity, only the moon to your purity..."

"Amidst the vast crowd, my eyes found you first. I dare not say you are the most beautiful, but you are undoubtedly the most special."

"You are a butterfly among flowers, a bud among lilies. Even in simple clothes, you are so dignified and elegant..."

...

After the game’s first bug was exposed, it quickly whipped up a storm on the forums. Many newly online Players in Jiamucheng ignored exploring the game and immediately started live-streaming their visits to Lin Bai to ’check in.’

You could play the game anytime, but a bug, once fixed, would be gone forever.

Thus, one heart-warming yet utterly nonsensical phrase after another was broadcast, going viral across the entire forum. Lin Bai, who had previously only been a background character for Dumbelldore, rapidly became Immortal World’s first virtual idol.

...

"Damn, his words are so sweet! Even a grown man like me blushed from his compliments."

"Those lines he uses, if said in the right context, are absolutely lethal. He’s a certified lady-killer."

"Taking notes."

"Have you guys noticed? People who go specifically to ’check in’ don’t trigger Lin Bai’s violent tendencies."

"That’s right. As long as you just talk to him, no matter what you say, it increases his favorability towards you. If you show hostility, Lin Bai will still speak kindly to you, but he’ll also kill you. He’s such an interesting NPC; I kind of don’t want him to disappear."

"Same here."

"We implore the game company to leave Lin Bai as he is! Don’t patch him! Let him become a landmark in Jiamucheng. His plot quests can be transferred to another NPC..."

"+1"

"+1"

"A massive thread petitioning to keep Lin Bai! I’ll start."

"Keep Lin Bai."

"Keep Lin Bai."

"Keep Lin Bai."

...

"’Spring blossoms and the autumn moon are scenes poets praise in song, but your dimpled smile is the most beautiful sight to my eyes...’" Gazing at the Player before him, who was flushed like a peach blossom and named Lady of L, Lin Bai smiled and continued his Kind Words mission.

Lin Bai was afraid of death. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be desperately completing System tasks to grow stronger and ensure his survival. But since this accident had already occurred, he could only take a gamble. After all, if he kept up this dazzling image, a day like this was bound to happen eventually... Besides, no matter how freely he lived here, it was still an illusory world. This place didn’t belong to him. Here, he had no family, no friends. What if, after being ’fixed,’ he returned to where he came from?

Lin Bai still clung to a sliver of hope.

...

However, for the entire day, aside from the Players who came to ’check in,’ there was no response from the game officials or the System in his mind, as if nothing had happened at all.

"Darling husband, rest assured! I’ve already started a petition on the game forums, and lots of people have signed it. The game company won’t patch you! You must maintain your innocence. I love hearing your sweet words, and I’ll support you with my actions! Mwah!" Lady of L stood before Lin Bai and whispered this using a voice channel NPCs couldn’t hear. Then, she gave him a sweet smile, turned, sat down at a nearby table, and tossed a handful of Copper Coins onto it. "Waiter, half a jin of braised beef, two flatbreads, and a plate of shredded vegetarian tofu."

"Right away, please wait a moment!" The waiter flicked his white towel, gave Lin Bai an admiring glance, and called out loudly, "Half a jin of braised beef, two flatbreads, and a plate of shredded vegetarian tofu coming up!"

At that moment, the waiter and the chef were utterly in awe of their Shopkeeper. Yesterday, there was hardly any business, but today, with the boss sitting at the entrance speaking pleasantries, customers arrived in waves, and not a single one haggled! Our boss is truly a business genius! And, of course, a linguistic genius too. Those endlessly varied sweet words... just hearing them makes one blush. I could never say things like that...

...

A petition? Lin Bai raised an eyebrow, instantly understanding. Well, now! My little shop has become a trendy ’check-in’ spot. They’re all flocking here to experience ’a kind word warms even the coldest winter’! Alright then! The Great Language System really delivers; sweet talk can indeed save your life... If I maintain this game characteristic that attracts Players, the game company probably won’t touch me! Good thing I was prepared for anything and didn’t slip up and curse. Otherwise, a whole day and night of effort would have been wasted. This is absolutely insane. Players truly are an unreasonable bunch of creatures...

...

Nearby, a revived Dumbelldore watched the bustling Chef’s Divine Food Stall, his expression utterly dejected. Lin Bai’s single slap had wiped out his entire day’s efforts, but he no longer cared about that. He much preferred the lively, outspoken Lin Bai who would casually insult him and demand gentlemanly conduct, not this mascot who only spouted sweet nothings.

While everyone else was petitioning to keep Lin Bai, Dumbelldore had submitted a bug report, hoping the game company would fix Lin Bai and preserve his original plot quests.

But the response he received was, "The game is functioning normally. Respected Pioneer, we wish you a pleasant gaming experience."

Dumbelldore cursed inwardly. The goddamn base-level programming is a complete mess, and they still call this normal?! Isn’t it just because of that massive petition? That game company truly has no shame when money is involved!

「In the City Lord’s Mansion.」

Zhao Tong, looking exasperated, reported the situation at the Chef’s Divine Food Stall to Xu Longyun. "...City Lord, that’s essentially what happened. Lin, the Storekeeper, compliments everyone he meets, even when he’s fighting them. He’s drawn nearly all the newly appeared ’celestials’ in the city to his shop. Moreover, these celestials bear him no ill will; on the contrary, they’re quite eager to spend money there..."

"He compliments everyone he meets?" Xu Longyun was stunned for a long moment. An inexplicable sense of loss flickered in her heart, but she quickly composed herself, sighed, and said, "So, that was his intention all along..."

Gazing at the half-finished lines of poetry on her desk—the ones he had written for her, which she had copied out—Xu Longyun gave a self-deprecating smile and murmured, Did he start preparing for this last night? It seems I’m still a step behind him.

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