The Alpha King's Nemesis-Chapter 203: Worth It...Or Not ()

Zariah groaned quietly, the ache from her wounds had returned in full force and the unease from it stirred her awake.

’Nile’s tonic must have worn off. It hurts...’ Zariah thought as she came to.

Her entire back ached terribly, Zariah knew the rogue’s claws would not leave toxins, Nile had made certain of it, however the healing process would not be easy either.

Zariah’s eyes slowly came open and as her consciousness returned, she was immediately aware of the weight laid over her waist.

The memories from the night before returned to Zariah’s mind in full force and Zariah’s eyes widened.

Her gaze moved to the side and sure enough, Askel’s hair was spilled over her midriff where his head was laid, with his hand around her waist and his even breathing told that he was sound asleep.

"By the Creator..." Zariah murmured, her eyes going wide when Askel shifted slightly at the sound of her voice.

However, he did not awaken and Zariah let out a slow sigh of relief.

Zariah leaned back on her pillow, staring up at the ceiling in complete disbelief and disappointment at her own actions from the night before.

’I must have lost my mind... how could I fall to my urges like some horny teen? With everything I have going on too?’ Zariah thought.

What was more painful to admit for Zariah was the fact that she did not truly regret it, she did not feel the slightest ounce of regret at all... rather she felt that this was the first right thing she had done in so long.

But there was one concern Zariah could not keep at bay and could not afford to.

’Caedmon... there is still Caedmon in the picture. I was getting so close to gaining his trust, I even let myself get hurt. Did I just let everything go to ruin over a moment of pleasure?’ Zariah wondered in dismay.

’I was raised better than this... I was taught better than this, there is so much at stake and yet once again, I cannot rein my heart in... father would be so disappointed in me." Zariah thought to herself.

Zariah’s heart dropped slightly but as her gaze strayed down to Askel, try as she might, she could not help the small smile that stretched across her lips.

’He is so deeply asleep, he must not have been able to sleep at all these past days...’ Zariah guessed, her heart resonated her thoughts and constricted in pain.

Zariah knew the only thing that could have unsettled a level headed Askel to the extent of depriving him of sleep was her.

She had done the same for a month and a half while unconscious and leaving him worried for her life and she had done it once again for the past few weeks, by leaving him worried that she would choose Caedmon over him.

’Is it selfish of me? Even if I have hurt you, I still am grateful I choose to stay by Caedmon’s side, because at least now... I no longer doubt you. I know for certain now, that the mastermind is someone else and you are also a target.’

’Is it selfish of me? Now that I know you are not my enemy, I still cannot bring you into my troubles and so I will choose the same thing... even if it hurts you?’ Zariah thought in pain.

’Is it selfish of me? That I am so grateful to have been blessed with your love, even when I can no longer deserve it... even when I have chosen to be damned to the depths of hell with my enemies, rather than choose happiness with you?...’ Zariah thought,

Zariah breathed a heavy sigh, her hand moved tentatively to Askel’s hair, running a hand through his tresses slowly.

A small smile settled on her lips when Askel unconsciously nuzzled into her touch.

’He looks dashing, even while asleep.’ Zariah admitted to herself. 𝚏𝕣𝐞𝗲𝐰𝕖𝐛𝐧𝕠𝕧𝚎𝚕.𝐜𝚘𝗺

That familiar giddy feeling crawled up within Zariah but she quickly squashed it, retrieving her hand,

Just in time too as Askel’s breathing pattern changed a moment later and his eyes came open.

Askel turned his head slightly to meet Zariah’s gaze and he smiled lazily.

"Mhijani..." He murmured, before he laid his head back where it had been.

Zariah stiffened in response and Askel passed her a look.

"Zari..." Askel said warily, his gaze revealing he already dreaded whatever Zariah had in mind.

Zariah winced visibly, the last thing she wanted to do was say anything that would hurt him, but how else was she to send him away from her?

How else was she to make sure he was far away from the damned situation she had knowingly stepped into?

’The moment I decided to roll in the mud with those who have done me wrong, no matter how filthy it gets, it was in that same moment I sentenced myself to solitude...’

’Not my pack, not my family, not him...not Askel, no one can walk this path with me. It is just me...it can only be me.’ Zariah thought.

But even though, the words she had to say were stuck in her throat, especially with those golden orbs staring warily at her.

And so, Zariah settled for a simple short sentence that she knew would utterly break Askel.

"He will come soon... Caedmon. I..." Zariah trailed off.

Askel’s brows furrowed slightly, for a moment, he just stared at Zariah, his eyes reflecting his rage and hurt.

"Am I still just an option to you? Even now?" Askel asked Zariah quietly.

"The month...is not up." Zariah replied.

Askel grunted in frustration, sitting up, he ran a hand through his hair.

"Whatever your reasons are, it is at my expense and you know this...is it worth it?" Askel asked Zariah after a moment of silence.

Was ensuring the terrible past did not repeat itself again worth it? Was protecting her pack and family the right way this time worth it? Was sacrificing herself instead of endangering her beloved ones worth it?

The answer came easily to Zariah. She was willing to be the hated one, if that was what it took.

"Yes..." Zariah said quietly.

Askel audibly exhaled a shaky breath, and without a word said, he grabbed his shirt and outer robe and took his leave.

Zariah concluded Askel would leave without a single word and her heart sank but Askel stopped at the door.

"Be safe, Zariah." Askel murmured, he passed Zariah a look before he stepped out and shut the door.