The Archduke's Songbird-Chapter 270: The Distance Between Them

Jerrick cradled Jessamyn in his arms, feeling the warmth of her body against his. The embers of doubt smoldered in his heart, growing stronger with each passing moment. He wasn’t sure if she loved him the same way he loved her, and that uncertainty gnawed at him. He could only hope that her feelings mirrored his own, that the love he cherished wasn’t a one-sided affair.

"I might be wrong," Jerrick began, his voice a low murmur as he tried to push aside the turmoil in his heart. "But it depends on how many partners one has. Usually, we cannot have more than one partner, but my mother somehow broke that rule."

Jessamyn tilted her head to look up at him, her big blue eyes searching his face. "And she thinks you cannot," she said softly.

It was the reason, Jerrick knew, why his mother had manipulated Imogen into killing his firstborn. The weight of that truth settled heavily on his chest, a burden he hadn’t anticipated carrying.

Jerrick gently ran his fingers through Jessamyn’s hair, each stroke meant to soothe her, but also to calm his own restless thoughts. She seemed to relax under his touch, her eyes fluttering closed as she enjoyed the sensation. For a moment, it was enough just to be near her, to feel her warmth and know she was safe.

"How are you feeling?" Jessamyn asked, her voice soft as she opened her eyes to look at him again. She must have known how much it hurt him to learn what his mother had done. It wasn’t just his mother’s fault; Imogen still had a choice. But if Jessamyn was feeling bad about it, Jerrick must be feeling terrible.

Jerrick pressed his lips together, searching for the right words. "I don’t know what to feel... I caused all the trouble."

"Still, you can grieve," Jessamyn said, her voice tender, understanding.

Jerrick’s mind drifted to Imogen’s last words. He had heard them, had seen the way Jessamyn reacted, going as far as to kill Imogen to stop her from speaking. What could have made her do that? What had Imogen been about to reveal that Jessamyn had felt the need to silence her so drastically?

"I would have treated your son better," Jessamyn said, as she had misunderstood the direction of his thoughts. "He would have been... what? Five years old this year? Truthfully, I am not sure if I would have loved him as mine, but I never would have treated him poorly just because I was not his mother. I would have loved him. That much I am sure."

Her words were not spoken lightly. She had clearly thought about this, had considered what it would have been like to have Jerrick’s son in her care. Rather than viewing the child as Imogen’s, she would have seen him as Jerrick’s, and that would have made it easier to love him.

She had lost a son of her own, and perhaps that loss would have driven her to shower Jerrick’s son with the love she could no longer give her own. She would have tried to make him feel less lonely, less lost in a world that had already been so cruel to him.

Jerrick blinked, surprised by her words. He hadn’t expected her to say that, but he wasn’t shocked by the sentiment. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, reassuring her with the gentle press of his lips. "I’m sure," he said, meaning every word. He didn’t doubt for a moment that she would have loved his son, despite the circumstances of his birth.

He had seen how she treated Duke Lagergren’s son, even after she had learned the truth. The boy refused to leave her side, clinging to her as if she were his only source of comfort. She would have loved Jerrick’s son too, of that he had no doubt.

But that wasn’t what he had been asking about. "That was not what I was asking you about. Who is Fenrir?"

Jessamyn’s smile faltered for a brief second before she forced it back. "Fenrir is someone the council believes in... They worship another god who they claim to be the one true god who is ’the light,’ and they follow some mythologies. Fenrir is the son of a wolf god who is said to kill his... It’s all stupid..." She waved her hand dismissively, as if trying to brush away the unease that had settled between them.

"Did they talk to you about their beliefs?" Jerrick asked, his curiosity piqued.

"No, the prophecy revealed their true intentions to me," Jessamyn replied, her voice growing quieter.

"The tree sure revealed a lot to you..." Jerrick said, watching her closely. He wasn’t sure what to make of all this. He wanted her to open up more and share with him the burdens she carried. But he sensed a shift in her, a stiffness that hadn’t been there before.

"Ah... I’m tired..." Jessamyn yawned, slipping out of his embrace and moving to the other side of the bed.

Jerrick watched her, feeling the distance between them widen as she showed him her back and pretended to sleep. He scooted closer, resting his hand on her belly. He could feel his son moving inside her, tiny flutters that she couldn’t feel yet but that he could hear, a soft, rhythmic beating that echoed in his mind.

His son must have been angry at him, Jerrick thought with a sad smile. The boy seemed to be avoiding him, even in the womb. Jerrick could only smile at the thought. His son was going to be a mommy’s boy, that much was clear.

"I love you, Dearest Songbird..." he whispered, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "I will always do."

But even as he said the words, the doubts remained. Would she ever truly trust him? Would she ever love him the way he loved her? Or would the shadows of the past always linger between them, a reminder of the secrets and lies that had kept them apart for so long?