The Cockroach-like Girl Is My Beast-Chapter 439 - 408: A Deeper Layer of Feelings

What does Lin Guang mean to Lisa?

A lifesaver? A pillar in her heart? Family? A brother?

Or... is there a deeper feeling?

Lin Guang actually knows these things.

Always knew.

But only today, using the Black Crown to read the emotions of every moment they spent together, did Lin Guang truly understand...

Understand Lisa’s feelings.

Understand how significant a position he holds in Lisa’s heart.

Once upon a time, the pillars in Lisa’s heart were her parents.

On the Terra Continent, no matter how painful, terrifying, or lonely the Ore Disease was, as long as she thought of her parents, her heart would calm down, displaying a will even stronger than that of an adult.

But now, after coming to Blue Star, these two pillars have nearly crumbled.

Because she could no longer return.

When Lisa was about to truly become a muddled fox, the boy descended from the sky and saved her from hell.

It was Lin Guang who pulled her back from bewilderment.

It was Lin Guang who returned the concept of home to her.

To the girl, the boy was not only her lifesaver, not only her temporary guardian, not only her partner, but he became her light, her reason to live...

As long as Lin Guang was by her side, no matter how difficult the challenges or desperate the circumstance, the girl had the courage and determination to face them together.

Actually, after turning back into human form and recalling that she is a Volper instead of a beast, Lisa was not very willing to revert to her fox form.

Not only because the beastiality of the fox would affect her, making her feel like she was no longer herself.

But more because reverting to a fox made her involuntarily recall those hellish days at the Divine Heart Association base.

But in order to get closer to Lin Guang, to break through the barrier of "differences between men and women", she resolutely turned back into a fox every night.

The reason Lisa worked so tirelessly hard, investing all her time in study and training, pushing herself to the limit like Lin Guang... besides her own character, was mainly to progress quickly.

Not because she wanted Lin Guang to value her more, cherish her more.

Lisa was not worried that Lin Guang would abandon her, for in their ordinary interactions, she knew he was not that kind of person.

Just like her parents, no matter what, there was no possibility of abandoning her.

She...

She was just afraid of "becoming a burden again".

She was her mother’s weakness, the catalyst that forced her mother to leave the family, yet she was powerless.

She had enough of that feeling of only being protected, yet not being able to protect those important to her.

But.

Until that day, holding Lin Guang’s hand, watching him lie on that pure white and cold hospital bed, fireworks ablaze outside the window.

She watched as her equally cared-for and beloved sisters Vishdair and Chelina fought with each other, unable to stop them.

She listened as Kong Guofeng and that Seven-Star Miracle Master, along with Kaiwen, gave their diagnosis results.

She watched as Lin Guang used the inheritance again and again, drifting away from the concept of living, his limbs starting to undergo Source Stone Transformation.

Lisa finally, desperately realized one thing.

No matter how hard she tried...

It seemed her effect was negligible.

On the surface, she became stronger, able to fight, more formidable than she used to be or even more than her parents.

But... what is its meaning?

She was becoming stronger, becoming smarter.

Yet still unable to save Lin Guang, unable to save this family.

Just like before.

When the family was sliding into the abyss, no matter how hard she tried, she could only watch as a bystander.

The most despairing thing is the helplessness of watching everything slip into the abyss, unable to do anything.

Just imagining losing Lin Guang, imagining a future without Lin Guang, her heart would be consumed by endless void and darkness.

She wanted to, like Chelina and Vishdair, walk steadfast in such situations. 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

Even if they were knocked down or disheartened, they could quickly rise again.

Because Vishdair and Chelina had unconsciously positioned themselves alongside Lin Guang, bearing the weight and burden of fate together.

And Lisa?

She was like a mascot, a child.

One... who could only be cared for by others, dispensable, only sheltered behind...

A sister.

Thus, the more everyone cared for her, understood her, loved her...

The guilt and self-blame gnawed at her soul like a maggot.

Everyone’s care magnified Lisa’s sense of guilt and self-blame infinitely, reaching its peak when Lin Guang decided to rest for a day.

[Not only did I not help Brother Lin Guang, I even hindered his training, slowed his steps.]

[It’s all my fault.]

[It’s all because of me...]

At that moment, Lisa could no longer endure, she threw herself into Lin Guang’s arms, crying like a child.

...

In the bedroom.

Lin Guang opened his eyes, the black blurry crown vanished from his head.

[Talent Evolution Level: 80%]

Indeed, he felt that over time his mind becoming colder and more tranquil, nearing inorganic.

Just like his body.

Yet at that moment, detached from the girl’s memory and emotions, he still felt a strong sense of sadness and compassion, his nose tingling.

It is precisely their existence that allows him to perceive the fact that he is still alive.

He extended his right hand, which still retained flesh and warmth, and touched the girl’s cheek.

"Brother Lin Guang... Dad... Mom..."

As if sensing his touch, the girl’s two fox ears faintly trembled, and she mumbled softly, yet her voice was on the verge of tears.

"Don’t... leave..."

"..."

Lin Guang looked at the girl but said nothing.

He understood why the girl felt this way.

But he absolutely disagreed with the girl’s thoughts.

——His Lisa was not a useless burden.

This was a fact as unchangeable as the rising and setting of the sun.

But...

How could Lisa’s heart knot be resolved...

"..."

Suddenly, Lin Guang closed his eyes and began to recall.

The record of the Source Stone only lasted until the moment they arrived in this world.

Arrived in this world.

That moment.

Lisa arrived in this world and then turned into a fox.

Lin Guang carefully and repeatedly searched through those memories.

But... before that...

The sensation in her hand, the feeling of desperately holding onto something, had always been there.

In the next instant, Lin Guang slightly opened his eyes, realized something, and looked up.

Dark golden spiritual power emerged from the air beside him, silently opened the door, and then softly called out to the living room.

"Vishdair."

With a sound of footsteps almost inaudible, a silver-haired girl with red reversed horns appeared at the bedroom door.

She looked at the girl in Lin Guang’s arms, her voice light and with a hint of worry: "...How is she now?"

"Sleeping soundly."

Lin Guang used his spiritual power to vibrate the air, sending his voice to her ear: "I have a question."

"When you first arrived in this world, were you wearing clothes? Were your things intact?"

"Of course my clothes were perfectly worn, damn it, I can’t be running around naked... The dagger was there, but the Source Stone bombs I made with Source Stone skills disappeared by themselves."

Vishdair seemed a bit surprised: "What’s wrong?"

"Clothes were intact?"

In the boy’s dark golden eyes, a serious look appeared, then he looked at the phone placed on the bedside table.

In the next moment, the phone was lifted by spiritual power and began to dial Assistant Wang’s number.

The call connected quickly, and Lin Guang’s voice was transmitted directly into the receiver through spiritual power.

"Assistant Wang, do you have some time now?"

"How much of the data in the Divine Heart Association’s server has been analyzed?"

"Yes... I have some things I want to ask."

"It’s about... my partner, Lisa."

"..."

As the call went on, Lin Guang’s eyes grew brighter and brighter.

"Thank you very much, Assistant Wang."

After a while, the call ended.

Lin Guang looked at Vishdair and Chelina, who had been silently listening outside the door, and he had already made plans and arrangements in his heart.

"Tomorrow, we’ll go out of town. You should get some rest early tonight."

...

Morning.

The chirping of birds can be heard from outside the window.

The girl slowly opened her eyes, her large golden-green eyes still a bit hazy as if not yet fully awake, and unsure of where she was. Her nostrils flared slightly as if she smelled something familiar, and a serene and peaceful expression appeared on her face. Her nine large tails swayed, wrapping herself into a fox ball, and nudged forward a little more.

It seemed... it had been a long time since she had slept so soundly.

For a time before, she had been constantly uneasy in mind.

But gradually, memories started to emerge in her mind.

It seems I was... training in the arena?

Training?!!!

The moment this word appeared in her mind, it was as if it had triggered some incredible switch.

Lisa’s eyes widened as she remembered what happened before she fell asleep, her small face suddenly turned pale, and she quickly sat up.

No way! The state competition is the only hope left! I can’t delay——

The scene before her made the girl feel a little confused.

Huh?

Is this... Brother Lin Guang’s room?

A familiar boy’s voice came from in front of her: "Good morning, Lisa."

It was at this moment that she realized... her hands were still wrapped around Lin Guang, clutching his pajamas.

"...Ugh."

Instantly, a light blush appeared over the girl’s slightly baby-fat cheeks.