The Creatures That We Are-Chapter 1090: The Price of Being Lucky

After a silent moment, Zhang Wei laughed bitterly and said, “I finally understand. Light can be waves or particles. If the probability of light being waves is lowered to zero, it can only be particles.”

“Humans may or may not exist in the universe. If the probability of humans existing is lowered to zero, humans do not exist.”

Rewind broke down crying, hugging her legs tight. She had never done well with pressure. “What-what do we do? Who is the enemy? Why did this to us? We can’t do anything...”

“Fuck.” Gregor slumped down, fists clenched. He was one who prized existence itself—death didn't frighten him. So long as he had truly existed, thinking and creating, he would be content. Even if Earth was just a pebble in the ocean that was the cosmos, even if human civilization bloomed for only a moment in the endless stream of time, that existence was real. He could accept having existed, however briefly.

But now he learned he would soon never have existed at all.

The void of that nonexistence crushed him. Defeat and sorrow weighed like lead in his chest.

The others weren’t faring better. Morale hit rock bottom.

War Tiger slapped his thigh and shot to his feet, raising the megaphone and announcing, “Alright, intermission! Get yourself together. We’ll meet in ten minutes.”

He stuck a cigarette in his mouth and climbed the dune behind him.

Facing away from the group, War Tiger smoked against the cold wind. He narrowed his eyes at the deep blue dunes stretching into night. His expression hadn't changed, but his fingers trembled around the cigarette.

Soft footsteps whispered behind him. He quickly returned the cigarette to his mouth and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Give me one.” Vermilion Bird stood shoulder-to-shoulder with him.

War Tiger grinned at her. “Nah, Little Yang Yang will scold me.”

“He gave me permission. Hurry!”

War Tiger fished out a crumpled pack from his pocket and tossed it to Vermilion Bird. She took a cigarette out, lighting it with War Tiger’s burning one.

She inhaled deeply and tipped her head back. The smoke scattered instantly in the cold wind.

She sighed in contentment. This was life. She tucked her wind-swept hair behind her ear and laughed bitterly. “Zero probability. You never stop learning.”

War Tiger scoffed. “Tell me about it.”

“Are you scared?” Vermilion Bird glanced at him.

“Not scared, just frustrated.” War Tiger ruffled his messy hair. “I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Do try.” Vermilion Bird was curious.

“Well, it’s like forgetting to bring toilet paper when taking a dump, but when you finally get paper from your fellow shitter in another stall, you realize that your ass is gone.”

“What kind of analogy is that? Really can’t expect anything from someone as uncultured as you.” Vermilion Bird rolled her eyes, then snorted.

War Tiger laughed.

They fell into silence, smoking quietly as their thoughts wandered across the bleak desert.

...

On another small hill, Gao Yang sat cross-legged in bemusement; or perhaps he was simply staring into space.

Qing Ling sat beside him, watching the bonfire below with him.

It was rest time, but many were still surrounding Baili Yi like students swarming the teacher for more questions after class.

“What are you thinking?” Qing Ling asked.

“What Qilin said,” Gao Yang admitted.

“Which one?”

“Guess.”

“Not guessing.”

“Just this once.”

Qing Ling thought about it patiently. “Fight for survival.”

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“It’s close.”

“Ah,” Qing Ling said confidently, “What he told Zhang Wei.”

Gao Yang nodded and repeated, “Humanity’s ultimate goal is to exist. No matter what price we have to pay, humans must continue to exist.”

Qing Ling sat quietly, letting the night wind tousle her short hair and brush against her cheeks.

“I finally understand why Qilin went mad.” Gao Yang picked up a handful of sand. “He wasn’t Baili Yi. He didn’t know the truth behind Zero Probability. He only glimpsed at God by accident and sensed our coming collective nonexistence through Them. Facing an incomprehensible, undefeatable nothingness, anyone would be scared.”

He tightened his grip, and the sand slipped faster from his fingers. “Qilin couldn’t understand what he experienced. It was even more impossible for him to make us understand. The bone-deep fear tormented him day and night. Despair must have driven him mad. That led to the Spinning Top Plan he would carry out on his own.”

Gao Yang's voice dropped, heavy with belated dread. “Had I been in his place, I would’ve been even madder.”

“But you weren’t the one to glimpse God,” Qing Ling said. “You’re luckier than Qilin.”

Gao Yang looked lost. “What does it mean to be lucky, Qing Ling?”

“I didn’t know.” Qing Ling looked up to meet his eyes. “But now I do, after listening to Baili Yi.”

“What?”

“Being lucky is existing.”

Gao Yang blinked.

“All the previous generations have died, yet Baili Yi lived. That’s luck.”

“Qilin died, yet you survived. That’s luck.”

“My little sister...” Qing Ling fell silent. At least now, facing Gao Yang, she didn’t want to lie to herself. “My sister is gone, yet I still exist. That’s luck.”

Gao Yang’s heart ached, but he didn’t suppress it with Psychic Armor. Instead, he split his soul into two parts; one endured the pain, while the other observed.

Then, the heartbreak wouldn’t be able to crush him completely.

“Gao Yang.” Qing Ling’s voice softened ever so slightly. “Everything comes with a price. As long as we still live, we must not give up and cannot give up no matter how much we hurt or despair. That is the price of being lucky.”

“That is...the price of being lucky.” Gao Yang quietly repeated her words, feeling a warm courage rising in his heart. He turned to Qing Ling. “You’re right, but there’s one thing I disagree with.”

“What?”

“Little Qing Ling, Qilin, and those who had died are still here.” He took Qing Ling’s hand and placed it on his heart. “Here.”

“As long as the world is still around, we are. And as long as we exist, the dead exist, too.”

“If it’s all about probability, the chance of existence for the living and the dead won’t hit zero until the apple lands.”

“We haven’t lost, Qing Ling.”

Qing Ling stared at him, her eyes blazing with passion. “No matter what happens, Gao Yang, I’ll be supporting you by your side. I only have one thing to ask you.”

“What is it?”

“You must win.”

“I’ll try my best.”

Suddenly, she leaned in while pulling him to herself, pressing their foreheads together, her black hair rustling in the wind.

“Do your best.”

Gao Yang didn’t immediately say anything.

“Do your best,” Qing Ling demanded. “You hear me?!”

“Yeah, I promise you.”

Satisfied, she let go of his collars and quickly rose to her feet, striding down the dune.

“Let’s head back.”