The Dirty Affairs of a Vampire and His Horny Stepmom-Chapter 86: Melania’s last day on Earth

John Hardley and my mother, sitting at the same table, eating and talking business. It seems so absurd, and yet... I’d better not dwell on it, or I might end up letting my worries ruin everything.

Tonight, I’ll talk to John about it — calmly. We’ve got plenty of time, at least until midnight.

When I finally reach the middle school gate, Melania is already waiting outside for me, surrounded by a sizable group of classmates, most of them boys — I guess she wanted to say goodbye before leaving.

Seeing her in the middle of them, she looks more like a high school girl who took a wrong turn than someone their age, and now I get why Melania decided to... uh, aim higher — even if they all tried together, those little brats without a single hair on their faces yet wouldn’t be able to satisfy her the way she wants.

Surrounded by that crowd of kids, Melania looks around frantically, and when she finally spots me, she slips away from them and runs over, then jumps into my arms and hugs me way too affectionately.

Looking past Melania, I can practically feel the hostility and envy in those boys’ eyes.

Well, if a perfectly normal hug is enough to make them seethe, I can’t even imagine what would happen if they knew the rest...

But after her initial enthusiasm...

«You’re late, Jace — by a whole eight minutes,» she scolds me.

«My watch says I’m only seven minutes late, and anyway I had a setback.»

«I guess that setback must’ve been pretty important, since it cost precious minutes from the last hours you’ll spend with your girlfriend!» she grumbles, puffing out her cheeks.

«My... girlfriend? What girlfriend...?»

«ME, you idiot! Until midnight you’ll consider me your girlfriend, and I’ll obviously treat you like my boyfriend. Understood?»

«Feels like we already fuck enough, don’t we? What’s the point of pretending we’re dating?» I ask, puzzled.

«Being boyfriend and girlfriend doesn’t just mean fucking from morning to night! Seriously, is that your idea of romance? I wonder how a proper woman like Veronica managed to fall in love with a heartless vulgarian like you...»

«Maybe I’m not the asshole you think I am,» I point out. «Anyway, if you want to play at being a couple, I don’t have a problem with it. The important thing is we do it far from here, since my mother is at a business lunch nearby and I’d rather she didn’t see me acting like your boyfriend.»

«Ah, right — your mom’s the jealous type. I wonder how she’ll react when you tell her we got engaged...» she mutters, shaking her head in disapproval.

«But you and I didn’t get engaged!»

«Are you stupid or what?!» she snaps. «A second ago you said you were fine being my boyfriend until midnight... and now you contradict yourself like this?»

«Sorry — I didn’t know we’d already started!»

«We started a minute ago! And now, be a good boyfriend and greet me the way you’d greet your girlfriend when you pick her up outside school!»

«Forget it! I told you we’re not doing anything improper with my mother around—»

But I don’t even have time to finish the sentence before Melania’s tongue slips into my mouth out of nowhere.

All of it under the even more shocked and envious stares of her classmates, who haven’t taken their eyes off us for even a second.

And after that sudden but thankfully quick goodbye kiss, her hand finds mine and our fingers lace together.

«Before midnight you’re going to get me arrested — I’m sure of it!» I grumble, shooting her a dirty look as we walk hand in hand in the opposite direction from the restaurant where Veronica and John are negotiating — or at least, I hope that’s what they’re really doing.

The idea that John could somehow use her to blackmail me is terrifying... but the idea that he might simply find her sexy and hit on her isn’t any better either. Or maybe both — seduce her to manipulate me? And what if they got married...?

No. I’d kill myself before I ever had to call that bastard "Dad".

«Oh, you’re so dramatic, Jace — like someone who doesn’t know me could ever suspect I’m only twelve. Actually, in a tracksuit and with your beard always shaved, you almost look like the younger one between us — I’m the one who should be scared of getting stopped while holding hands with a minor.»

«Ha. Ha. Ha. You’re hilarious, I swear,» I reply, my voice as flat as a corpse’s EEG. «Anyway, what did you have in mind to do today as fake boyfriend and girlfriend?»

«Fake boyfriend and girlfriend...?» she repeats, puzzled.

«That’s what you asked me to do! What, did you forget already?»

«I never said we’d be fake boyfriend and girlfriend — that’s something you just assumed! I asked you to consider me your girlfriend for today, not your fake girlfriend!»

«As if it makes any difference, considering this relationship lasts until midnight anyway... Fine, I’ll rephrase: what did you plan to do to spend these last hours of yours on Earth, my real temporary girlfriend?»

She shoots me her usual annoyed glare, the kind you give when you feel like someone’s messing with you — and she’s got every right to think that, even if I have to admit it could turn into a fun roleplay.

In eighteen years, I’ve never really had a girlfriend, obviously not counting Veronica, who is simply much more than a mere girlfriend.

Sure, I’ve gone on dates with plenty of women, mostly dissatisfied wives looking for fresh meat for a night of fun, who often disappear the next day and turn you into a simple one-night stand. But none of them ever gave me the vibes a girlfriend is supposed to give me — not even girls my age — not even Naomi herself.

To be honest, I don’t really know what a girlfriend is supposed to make me feel, and I’m curious to see what direction this day will take. I wonder if Melania will be so good at playing the part of the girlfriend that she’ll make me feel those sensations I’ve never known.

«For our first — and also last — date, I booked us in this morning at the Hallett Nature Sanctuary, that huge, gorgeous nature reserve inside Central Park in Manhattan. What do you say, sweetheart? Shall we go?» she chirps, hooking her arm through mine and pressing close enough that her huge breasts wrap around my arm.

A nature reserve...? Seriously? And here I was expecting some motel...

Looks like Melania took this whole dating thing seriously, choosing something truly romantic instead of vulgar.

And I have to admit, I like the idea a lot — doing something different for once can only be good!

«You booked our boyfriend-girlfriend date before I even agreed to be your boyfriend for today? Looks like you didn’t even consider the possibility I might refuse.»

She smiles at me.

«Yeah. I already knew you’d say yes, my beloved boyfriend.»