The Extra's Rise-Chapter 819: Rin Ashbluff (5)

I never wanted to hurt anyone in my life.

The memory surfaced unbidden as I continued my relentless assault against Arthur, each strike carrying the weight of years of accumulated anguish. I had been three years old when I made that promise, standing in the sunlit gardens of the Ashbluff estate with the unwavering confidence that only a child could possess.

"I’ll never hurt anyone," I had declared to my parents and Jin, my small fists clenched as though the gesture could bind the universe itself to honor my words. The conviction in my voice had made even my father smile—that rare expression of warmth that he reserved for moments when his children reminded him why ruling was worthwhile.

My mother had knelt down to embrace me, her warmth wrapping around me like the gentlest magic. "My sweet Rin," she had whispered, her voice carrying all the love a parent could hold. Father’s strong hand had ruffled my hair with unexpected tenderness, his deep voice rumbling with pride and affection as he spoke. "That’s a noble promise, little princess."

I had been loved. Completely, unconditionally, absolutely loved.

As the princess of the Western Continent, I had been adored not just by my family but by the people who saw in me hope for a brighter future. I had basked in that love, in the certainty that I could make the world better through compassion and strength guided by righteousness. The approaching awakening ceremony had seemed like the first step on a shining path I was destined to walk.

"Jin," I had said one afternoon as we played among the enchanted roses of our family’s private garden, "when I get my Gift, I’ll make sure there’s no more crime in our kingdom. I’ll make the world safe for everyone who can’t protect themselves."

Jin, always quieter and more thoughtful than his exuberant sister, had nodded with solemn certainty. "I’ll help you," he had replied simply, and those three words had filled me with such joy that I had laughed with pure delight.

When the awakening ceremony finally arrived, I could barely contain my excitement. Jin had gone first, stepping forward with quiet confidence while magical energy swirled around him in patterns that spoke to powerful potential awakening within his young form. The appraiser’s announcement had filled the room with pride and celebration.

"The Gift of Necromancer’s Touch!" he had declared with obvious pleasure.

The satisfaction radiating from Father had been almost tangible, his approval clear in every aspect of his posture as he placed a firm hand on Jin’s head. I had clapped and cheered, my heart swelling with happiness for my beloved brother and anticipation for my own moment of transformation.

Then it had been my turn.

I had stepped forward eagerly, my chest tight with excitement and nervous energy. The ritual had begun normally enough—magical power rushing through my small body in waves that felt like liquid starlight. At first, it had been exhilarating, a flood of potential that made me feel like I could fly.

But then something had gone wrong.

The energy that should have been warm and welcoming turned caustic, burning through my veins like acid. Pain beyond anything my young mind could process had torn through my body, making me gasp and clutch at my chest while the world seemed to blur around me.

’It hurts,’ I had thought desperately, panic rising as the agony intensified beyond all reason. ’Why does it hurt so much?’

The room had grown darker, shadows creeping in from corners that shouldn’t have existed while a suffocating presence pressed against my consciousness. And then I had felt it—something alien and hungry stirring within my mind, whispering words I didn’t understand in voices that made my soul recoil.

When I had opened my eyes, there had been blood everywhere.

The appraiser had stumbled backward, clutching wounds that had appeared across his chest without warning. My father’s voice had boomed through the chamber, but the words had seemed distant and distorted. Worst of all, my thoughts were no longer entirely my own.

’Kill. Kill them. They’re threats. Kill them all.’

"No!" I had screamed silently, trying to fight the alien voice that had invaded my mind, but it had been relentless in its hunger for destruction.

’They fear you now. They’ll try to hurt you. Protect yourself. Kill them first.’

"Rin!" Father’s voice had broken through the haze of corruption, and I had felt his mana wrapping around me like iron chains. But when I had tried to speak, to tell him I was sorry, my mouth had moved on its own.

"Kill!" I had hissed, my voice warped and inhuman.

"Sleep," Father had whispered desperately, pouring his will into the command with enough force to render unconscious most beings below Radiant-rank.

I had collapsed to the floor as enforced slumber claimed me, the last thing I saw being my mother’s tear-streaked face as she reached toward me with hands that trembled with heartbreak.

When consciousness had returned, I had found myself alone in darkness.

The room that became my prison had been comfortable enough—elegant furniture, amenities, even enchanted windows that provided illusions of outdoor views. But the seals etched into every surface had made the space feel like a tomb, their constant presence a reminder that I was no longer trusted to exist freely among the people I loved.

The days had blurred into weeks, the weeks into months, the months into years. Father had visited regularly at first, his mana reinforcing the barriers that kept me contained while his face maintained careful neutrality. But I could see the strain in his eyes, could feel the way each renewal sapped his strength a little more.

’Why?’ I had thought bitterly during the darkest moments. ’Why does he keep wasting himself on me?’

The voice in my head had never truly left. It whispered constantly, growing stronger as I grew older, offering solutions that made my heart sick with revulsion.

’Kill them before they kill you. They keep you caged like an animal. End their suffering and yours.’

I had fought it every day, every hour, every minute. But the black mana had been patient, gnawing at my sanity like water wearing away stone. Some days, the temptation to simply give in had been almost overwhelming.

There had been moments when I had considered ending everything myself. I had tried once, throwing my body against the sealed walls with all the strength I could muster. The barriers had held firm, and I had crumpled to the floor in sobbing despair.

Even death had been denied to me.

’How cruel,’ I had thought in the aftermath. ’I wanted to help people. I wanted to protect them.’ But the corruption had transformed me into the very thing my younger self would have sworn to fight against.

I had thought of Mother’s warmth, of Father’s hidden tenderness, of Jin’s quiet loyalty and love. They deserved none of the pain my existence had brought them. They deserved a daughter and sister who could stand at their side rather than a monster who had to be locked away from the world.

I hadn’t wanted to hurt them. I had never wanted to hurt anyone.

But deep in my heart, I had known the truth. Eventually, the seals would fail. The black mana would consume what remained of my human consciousness, and I would destroy the very people I loved most in all the world.

Now, as I fought against Arthur in this mental battlefield, those same thoughts tormented me. Every strike I threw carried the weight of that accumulated despair, every spell I cast was powered by years of self-hatred and desperate longing for peace.

"You... why?" I gasped, my voice trembling as exhaustion finally began to overtake the corruption’s fury. My mental form should have been stronger here, should have been able to regenerate endlessly, yet somehow I felt utterly drained.

Arthur stood before me wreathed in grey light, his presence impossibly steady despite the chaos I had unleashed. He wasn’t fighting to kill me, even though that would have been the mercy I had begged for. No—he was doing something far more dangerous.

He was refusing to give up on me.

’My hope,’ I thought desperately, feeling that cruel emotion beginning to stir in the depths of my consciousness. ’Don’t do this to me. Don’t make me hope.’

"Kill me," I rasped, my voice raw and broken with years of accumulated anguish. "Please. Just end this nightmare."

But Arthur didn’t respond with violence. Instead, he stepped forward with the same careful determination he had shown throughout our battle.

No. No, no, no. Stop. Don’t come closer.

Before I could retreat, his arms wrapped around me in an embrace that carried warmth beyond anything I had felt since childhood. His strength radiated through the contact—not just physical power, but something far more overwhelming. It wasn’t dominance or conquest. It was acceptance.

"I told you," he whispered, his voice low but resonant with unshakeable conviction. "I’ll save you."

The world around me began to blur as tears I hadn’t known I could still shed spilled down my cheeks. The battlefield of my own making started to dissolve, the storm of black mana that had raged within me for so long finally beginning to quiet in the face of something I had thought lost forever.

Unconditional love.

I gasped as the last traces of the mental realm dissolved into peaceful darkness, leaving nothing but the echo of his promise.

’I’ll save you.’

For the first time in my life, I allowed myself to believe that salvation might actually be possible.