The Gamer's POV-Chapter 234: A Burden

"How I wish these numbers were reversed," Cedric muttered as he stared at the section of the karma points.

Karma points: [N1,895 / P287,735]

How good would it be if he suddenly had over two hundred thousand negative karma? Ha! He would be unstoppable. Just the thought of it sent a cold, exhilarating shiver down his spine.

He relished the thought for a few seconds, then he sighed deeply and pushed back all the evil thoughts that were now crawling into his mind.

By the way, speaking of negative karma, after coming back to life recently, his karma points had dropped from 2,185 to 1,685.

During the past two weeks, he had tried to accumulate more but had not really had much luck.

He tried stealing, but then, there wasn’t a lot he could steal because the cadets didn’t have much on them at this point. Plus, everyone carried their haversacks with them or entrusted them to their party members when busy, to avoid people like him stealing what little they had from them.

He could remember once, some time last week, when he had secretly sneaked his raven into a building where one of the parties resided. The party members were not around then, so he swapped places with his raven to steal from them.

Apparently, one of them had left their haversack behind, and so, without shame, Cedric went and picked it up. He smiled as he opened the haversack and upturned it, waiting for the loot to pour out. Then his smile vanished when only two pairs of female underwear dropped out.

He stood there staring at the pile of laundry with an expression of profound embarrassment and disappointment. Because, how unfortunate did a thief have to be to encounter this sort of situation?

Well, since he was not depraved enough to steal female underwear, he considered the mission a failure. He aborted the heist immediately, stuffing the garments back into the haversack with the frantic hands of a man who realized he was one heartbeat away from being labeled a pervert instead of a thief.

The failed heist aside, he did try other ways to gain negative karma... like lying.

It may seem easy to farm negative karma from lying, but actually, it was harder than it looked.

For one, telling the same lie to the same person multiple times didn’t grant any more karma. It would only grant karma the first time it was told. Or if the victim forgot that you had told that lie before.

Secondly, just randomly saying stuff wouldn’t grant karma points. For example, randomly saying the sky is red to someone who is looking at the sky and can tell that it’s blue wouldn’t grant karma.

For a lie to grant karma, there should be a chance that a victim could actually be misled, otherwise, the words were just empty noise in the wind.

Finally, to gain karma, the intent behind the lie had to either be for manipulation, deceit, exploitation, betrayal, or other personal gains.

Knowing all this, Cedric had to cook up lies every time the opportunity presented itself. Since his party gathered together during meals to chat, he would frequently weave elaborate, unnecessary fabrications into the conversation just to gain a few scraps of negativity.

If someone asked how he was feeling, instead of giving a simple "I’m fine," he would reply with a long, fabricated story about a recurring nightmare involving a talking goat or something even stranger.

Not just that, he had even grown smooth with his tongue because of the need to lie. There were times when he would randomly pop up in front of a cadet who wasn’t really easy on the eyes, then begin saying stuff like how beautiful and ethereal they looked under the moonlight.

He would even go as far as swearing to some cadets that they were the most beautiful person he had ever set his eyes on.

...Yet, at the end of the two weeks, despite all the calculated deception, he only managed to accumulate two hundred and ten karma points, moving his total up from 1,685 to 1,895.

Cedric sighed.

For all his efforts, that number really was disappointing to him. It felt like he was working a full-time job for a handful of copper coins.

"Maybe I should just straight up throw away my morals and go around beating people up..."

He muttered in resignation. However, only a few seconds after, a thought suddenly entered his mind. His eyes widened slightly, before returning to their usual calm, and then he grinned slyly.

"Ah, that reminds me. I do have a slave I could torture for negative karma."

The realization was like a breath of fresh, albeit slightly toxic, air.

"I should go see him sometime later."

He nodded a few times to himself, then snickered.

A few seconds later, he returned his attention to the screen in front of him. Unlike his slow accumulation of negative karma, he was actually doing quite well with his positive points.

He had paid 500 karma points each to bring back the four hundred and five fallen cadets, which had dropped his total from 406,510 to 204,010. But, because he had resumed feeding the now 985 cadets twice a day after coming back to life, he continued to gain karma points.

However, that quickly changed.

After feeding them the first time and getting 50 karma for each person, the reward reduced to 25 the second time. The next day, it dropped to only ten karma points per person, and by the time meals were distributed in the evening, Cedric received nothing at all.

Of course, that wasn’t an unexpected outcome. After reveling in the initial flood of points, he had been sure the returns were eventually going to diminish.

Still, he was glad that he had been able to accumulate this many karma points.

But now that the influx had slowed to a crawl, would he continue to provide for them?

Well, since he was no longer earning karma points, one would think that he’d stop feeding the cadets. However, Cedric did not stop. Since he had more than enough food stored, he didn’t mind being benevolent until the end. After all, he had not initially fed them with the intention of gaining Karma points.

That aside, Cedric stared at the large number for a long moment, and then... his mood began to shift as he suddenly remembered something sad.

It was a conversation that he had with Argentos some time ago.

...

After his first training session with Argentos, he had been so exhausted, and so, he sat sprawled on the ground of the indoor chamber they were training in.

Despite not being tired, Argentos also dropped beside Cedric, studying him. As the seconds passed, they began to engage in a conversation. It was during this conversation that Cedric learned that Lee Lim currently believed him to be dead. He learned that Lee Lim had come to confirm his death himself and that afterward, he had killed Marcella, Argentos’ daughter, due to their failure to protect the red bridge.

When Cedric heard this, truth be told, he did feel a tiny pang of guilt and a bit of sadness for Argentos.

After thinking for a bit, he offered. "If you want, I could bring Marcella back to life."

It was just 500 positive karma and right now, he was kind of rich on positivity, so he didn’t mind.

Argentos looked at him with his hollow, piercing blue eyes. Then he smiled and said, "Thank you for the offer. But..." his voice grew somber as he turned away and looked down. "I’m afraid I would have to decline."

Cedric stared at him in genuine confusion for a moment before he said, "May I ask why?"

Argentos was quiet for a long while and the silence in the room deepened until it felt heavy. Eventually, he spoke with the weary tone of a man who had carried a burden on his back for centuries. "My people have been alive for a very long time.

"Actually, I do not remember how long exactly. But it’s been more than a thousand years."

When he said that, his eyes widened slightly. It was as if he was just realizing how much time had actually passed. After a few seconds, he sighed deeply and continued.

"Men, women, children. We have all lived in pain during this time. Our lives have been melancholy and meaningless. We do not eat, for there is no hunger. We do not sleep, for there is no rest. We simply... exist. Can you imagine how that is? To be trapped in a body that refuses to fail, yet live in a world that is bleak and dying?"

He paused and looked at his open palm. Then, he continued even more somberly. "We have become the hollow ones, Cedric. Shells of people wandering under this eternal moon, waiting for a sun that never rises and a rest that never comes. For us, life isn’t a gift... it is a burden."

He looked back at Cedric, his expression softening into something devastatingly sad.

"To bring Marcella back would be to drag her out of the peace she has been desperately longing for. I love her too much to force her back into this hell."

He smiled. "Let her sleep, Cedric. She is finally, truly, at rest."