The Legend of William Oh-Chapter 212: The New Hire

“So that’s what I’m hoping you can do for me.” Will said.

“Why don’t you get your Tangled girlfriend to do it?” Heath asked.

“Long story short: Doesn’t look the part. ” Will replied.

“I mean, she could.” Heath said with an upside-down shrug. “She’s a shapeshifter, right?”

“Well, let me ask you this.” Will said, “would you wanna look like you?”

Heath erupted in a guffaw. “Fuck you, I’m the peak picture of male virility.”

“You’ve got lifeless eyes, a blotchy complexion, your hair is thinning and you have a cruel slant to your fat lips.” Will replied.

Heath began cursing and wiggling like a worm on a hook, struggling against the bindings, his monumental strength as a Warrior unable to break out of the silk produced by Loth’s insects.

“I need somebody mean looking, and: LISTEN!” Will grabbed his former bully by his ear and shouted into it, stunning the man into ceasing his struggling.

“I need someone like you to be the face of the law in the Stronghold.”

Heath stopped struggling, his expression thoughtful. “So, you want me to be the law around here? I think we’re both mature enough to acknowledge that it’s not a good fit for me.”

Will paused, assessing Heath’s response.

“Why’s that?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d love the perks of being the law around here. The bullying, the kickbacks. We both know I’d take to it like a hog in a vat of slop, but we also know for a fact I’m not sharp enough to be any good at it. Lawman’s gotta be clever. Well-spoken. Resourceful. I’m just…” Heath shrugged. “A mean mug with a big sword. Nothing special.”

Does he actually have some humility or is he trying to trick me?

“That’s why Ria will be handling everything else,” Will said, motioning to the athletic young woman holding the chain suspending Heath from the ceiling.

“Ria can speak to the people who are reasonable. She can make you seem resourceful and clever by propping you up. All you have to do is threaten, harass, or beat the shit out of whoever we point you at.”

Heath hung there silently, considering it.

“We’ll call you sheriff, but Ria will be your boss, and I am her boss. If you get too big a head, she’ll…realign your priorities.”

“…Can I take bribes?” Heath asked.

Will blinked. “No.”

The Heavy Swordsman groaned.

“Then what’s the point?”

“I’ll give you a solid paycheck, your Advanced Class, and some Kit that will make you one tough bastard. Any reward reasonable and within my power.”

“I want a girlfriend.” Heath said.

Will frowned.

“That is…neither reasonable nor within my power. Frankly, you’re unlovable.”

“Fine. How about a mansion in the outer Ring?” Heath asked once he stopped trying to bite Will.

“When would you use it?” Will asked. “Being the sheriff around here is a full-time gig, for at least a decade. Once this place settles down we can look into forming a more official, regimented law enforcement system, and let you go...with a fat purse.”

“A decade?” Heath asked, and Will could see the calculation going on behind his eyes. As a level 45 Warrior archetype, he should have enough Resistance to make a decade feel like three years.

“That’s right.”

“…What if I say no?”

“We let you go and treat you like any other Climber.”

“…Alright, I’m game. let’s do it.”

Will carefully scanned Heath from head to toe.

“I don’t buy it.”

“…What?...Nah, man, we’re cool. I’ll thug whoever you tell me to.”

“I hear what you’re saying…” Will said, turning Phantom Hand’s armor into a blade and beginning to cut Heath out of his bindings. “But I don’t believe that’s what you’re thinking. You’re thinking you’ll have a grand old time, take me for everything I’m worth and then fuck off.”

Heath’s brow twitched.

“…I can tell you’re not actually afraid of me.” Will said as the blade glided through the silk.

It was true, Heath was completely unafraid of Will. There was a teeny bit of apprehension rolling off of him due to the situation, but he was completely unafraid of Will specifically.

Heath remembered him as a weak child, and that was a tough notion to shatter. It formed a mental block that shielded him from fearing Will.

As long as Heath didn’t have any fear of Will, he couldn’t imagine Heath obeying rules set down by him.

Heath just wasn’t that kind of person. He was a habitual line-crosser, and generally a bad person. Utilizing him would not be as easy as a simple conversation and a job offer.

“Nah, man, you think I’m not scared? Being tied up and being threatened is pretty fucking sca-“

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

The instant Heath’s hand were free he lunged forward, aiming for Will’s neck.

Just like Sammohan, actually. Heath, like the oversized miner, needed to physically experience it before he was willing to accept Will as a Lord.

Will caught Heath’s hand with Phantom Hand and slipped out of the man’s range.

Heath collapsed to the ground as the last of the restraints tore away, leaping to his feet with a feral snarl and charging towards Will, winding up a telegraphed punch.

Will slipped around it and turned to regard Ria.

“Would you mind-“ Will dodged another attack, pausing his speech between strikes. “Giving us some time? I Don’t. Want. To give you. A bad. Impression. Of me.”

“Consider it a challenge.” Ria said, crossing her arms. “Rein him in without giving me a bad impression.”

Well, there goes my idea of breaking every bone in his body. How am I supposed to-? Will thought as he danced around a flurry of punches and kicks. Actually…

Really, what Heath and Sammohan had in common was they wanted to drag this down to a dick measuring contest. A comparison of raw machismo that they mistakenly believed they would win.

…I can do that. Will thought, shrugging out of his shirt and amulet and tossing them over to Ria.

Heath paused, a single meaty fist raised.

“Umm…”

“By all means, continue.” Will said, slipping out of his boots and kicking them aside, taking off his ring before starting on his pants.

“…Why are you getting naked?” Heath asked.

“So you don’t have any excuses afterwards,” Will said, tossing his pants to Ria.

“Underwear too?” Will asked, winking at Heath, his thumbs hooked in his waistband.

“…No, that’s plenty.” Heath muttered, taking off his shirt to match Will.

Will’s inhumanly powerful hearing picked up Ria clicking her tongue as he slipped his thumbs out of his waistband.

“Alright, then, Heath,” Will said, holding out his arms in a wide, welcoming pose. “Hit me as hard as you can.”

“What?”

“…I want you…to hit me…as hard as you can. Or are you a puss-”

Heath’s enormous fist impacted against Will’s face and crumpled like it was made of straw, the break travelling up his arm with a loud CRACK!

Despite not having any Kit on him, Will still had the Ring of Explosive Doughmaking equipped in Phantom Hand, granting him an outrageous amount of Resistance.

By bracing his skull from behind with Phantom Hand, Will made it so punching his face was roughly equivalent punching an immovable steel plate.

Sure, it amplified the force on Will’s skull and ran the risk of crushing Will’s brain, but the outcome was worth it, and with the ring on, Will’s bones were at least five times strong than Heath’s anyway.

The risk was low.

“AAAAAAGH!” Heath screamed in pain, backing away as he clutched his arm, collapsing to his knees.

“You don’t seem to fully understand what situation you’re in.” Will said, wiping a bit of blood that was trickling from his nose as he squatted down beside Heath. “You are attacking a Lord in his own Stronghold.”

“I think I’m starting to get that.” Heath said through gritted teeth.

There it is.

The sudden shock of pain and surprise had seemingly disintegrated Heath’s mental image of Will and uncorked Heath’s fear, allowing it to flow freely. Will leaned down, seizing the slimy colorless fear, reinforcing it into a rope with Aspect before picking it up and yanking on it like a leash, causing the man’s eyes to bulge with fear.

“Do you know why I’m a Lord, Heath?”

“’cause you’re pretty?” Heath said through gritted teeth, still able to give Will sass even though he was experiencing intense fear that might make any other person thrash and beg. That was part of the reason Will wanted him as a Sherrif. He was stupid-brave.

“Because I’m really good at killing other Climbers. I don’t like it, but I am good at it. Heath, you are really good at being an asshole.”

“Fair.” Heath grunted.

“I want you to rough up drunks, collect taxes, enforce my laws. Extort the people who try to extort my people. Bust heads, without becoming a walking cliché who bullies the regular civilians who toe the line, or embezzles their tax money. You think you can do that?”

“Will, I’m just a Heavy Swordsman.” Heath said with a tired shrug. “I don’t have…” He gestured at Will with his good arm. “Whatever the Abyss you’ve got going on there. Are you sure you can provide the kind of Kit I’ll need to stand head and shoulders above others?”

“I can.” Will said, nodding.

“…Alright, ten years.” Heath said, offering Will his busted right hand. “I’ll play-act the lawman.”

They shook on it. Will was half expecting a left cross while his hand was pinned, but Heath didn’t bother.

Will lowered is voice. “Keep in mind, Ria has eyes and ears everywhere, so keep your nose clean, or we’ll be having a very different conversation.”

“Got it…What’s embezzle mean?”

“…It means to steal from within an organization.”

Once Heath was gone, Will groaned and slumped against the wall.

Facing his childhood bully and practicing restraint had been a test in itself. Will had wanted to hurt him a lot worse, but Heath had matured a lot in the last few years…

And I suppose I have too. Will remembered the last time he’d seen him. Heath had still been foul-mouthed, but they had commiserated over lost Party-members. This was another step in the right direction.

They would never be friends, but perhaps colleagues was within the realm of possibility.

Will opened his eyes to a pat on the shoulder from Ria.

“Congratulations. I didn’t get a bad impression of you.” Ria said, planting a kiss on his forehead.

Worth it.

“You realize you’re gonna have to keep a close eye on him, right?”

“I can handle it.” Ria replied. “Anna is preparing the announcement. I’ll put together a primer on the laws of the Burned Stronghold and burn it into his mind.”

Will nodded, then went outside the tower, meeting Anna at the stage in the center of the courtyard to announce the selection of a Sherrif.

Those who had been around The Burned Stronghold long enough understood that Ria was the real power behind the law, but the others seemed unsure of Will’s decision, with reactions ranging from curious to vaguely uncomfortable at the sight of Heath’s mean-spirited grin.

I really hope this doesn’t turn out to be a terrible idea.

“If I’m not here, and he turns out to be a bad investment…” Will whispered into Ria’s ear.

“Yeah, I’ll kill him.” Ria replied with a nod. She wasn’t a fan of murder, but she also understood the danger of letting unchecked power rot an institution from the inside.

“I hope it doesn’t come to that.” Will said.

He would manifest an item from his Phantom Hand and use it as part of Heath’s new kit.

Nobody was using the Coiled Serpent Amulet at the moment. It would grant the Heavy Swordsman a huge leg up, allow Will to keep exact track of his location on the map, and he could confiscate the amulet instantly should he misuse it.

Same reasoning as when I gave it to June.

June had proved herself trustworthy. She was making a killing working for him and more than happy to continue doing so. Will had long since made a custom soft-set for her.

Now he was going to grant the same opportunity to someone he actively disliked.

Is it weird that I’m half hoping he’ll do a good job, and half hoping that he’ll screw up and give me an excuse to kill him? Is this what politics feels like? Will wondered as the crowd dispersed, going their separate ways.

Over the next few days, Heath went through an exhaustive boot-camp, forced to memorize every single law that had been created since the foundation of the Burned Stronghold.

It wasn’t more than a dozen pages long, but Heath acted like they were forcing him to memorize the Graneshian bible.

Most of it was basic, shared between just about every frontier Stronghold, but a few things were specific to The Burned Stronghold, like water rights, damage liability from sandstorms…that sort of thing.

After the boot camp, they let him out into the world.

…On a tight leash of course.

Ria still handled the day-to-day of policing the Stronghold’s regulars, but when belligerent drifters started trouble, they deployed Heath to great effect.

The Heavy Swordsman, empowered by the Coiled Serpent Amulet and a few custom Relics from Will, was able to teleport in and twist arms, shoving people’s faces into the dirt before they could bring their Abilities to bear, gleefully dragging them to the jail cells, where their Active Abilities were disabled.

As a proof of concept, it was working. Will fully expected there to be bumps, but he believed it was within Ria and Loth’s capacity to straighten them out while Will was gone.

Now I’ll leave it to Ria to supervise him, and turn my attention to the other matter:

Attending a wedding.