You said you hated men, why are your eyes now full of love?-Chapter 96 - The Tenderness Encountered in the Alley (Part 2)

My name is Ruan Qingqing, and I am 8 years old this year.

Today is my birthday.

Mom says that on birthdays, you should blow out candles and happily make wishes.

But, I am a bit unhappy.

Mom is sick.

She always hides under the covers, secretly coughing up blood, not wanting me to know.

Qingqing is a good child.

Mom doesn't want me to know, so I pretend not to know.

…

My name is Ruan Qingqing, and I am 9 years old this year.

Today is my birthday.

Mom says that on your birthday, you should blow out the candles and make a wish.

But I can't feel happy at all.

Mom's condition is getting worse.

Qingqing is a bad child.

Although Mom's birthday noodles are delicious, I still wish I could taste the birthday cakes that my classmates talk about.

The dim candlelight brings no warmth, casting a pale glow on Mom's colorless face.

The candles are really poor quality, I thought to myself as I closed my eyes.

Mom says you can only make a birthday wish once.

I secretly crossed out my wish to eat birthday cake next year.

I only wish for my mom to recover.

…

My name is Ruan Qingqing, and I'm 10 years old this year.

Today is not my birthday.

But I can go to the pharmacy by myself to buy medicine for Mom.

Although, it's a secret, haha.

The street is bustling, and I see many children wearing bright, new clothes and playing and laughing together.

They look so beautiful sparkling in the sunlight.

I look down at my faded, washed-out clothes and feel a bit envious.

But only a little.

The clothes I wear are also very nice and comfortable. They're all hand-knitted by Mom, stitch by stitch.

She's really amazing.

The counter at the pharmacy is so high that I have to stand on a small stool to pay.

When I was checking out, the lady said that I looked thin and small. She asked if I usually don't eat well.

I felt a bit guilty.

I secretly save the money Mom gives me for breakfast and dinner.

Qingqing isn't hungry at all.

Saving all the money allows me to buy more medicine for Mom, like I did today.

The lady at the pharmacy didn't say anything else. She patted my head and handed me two White Rabbit milk candies before I left.

They're sweet and delicious.

I only ate one; I saved the other for Mom.

The next day, I shared them with my classmates.

They didn't seem happy to talk to me.

They just pushed me aside. Some boys said that I was a country bumpkin who had never seen the world and that birthday cake is much better than candy.

Is birthday cake really better than candy?

I don't know.

…

My name is Ruan Qingqing, and I am 11 years old this year.

Today is my birthday.

I'm an adult now, so I don't need to celebrate birthdays anymore.

Although that makes me a little sad, I'm much happier thinking about being able to help Mom.

So, I decided to go to her workplace to help on my birthday.

I am very capable.

I can clean tables well and stand on a plastic stool to wash dishes.

My uncles and older sisters will clap and praise me for being sensible and good.

But I'm not a child anymore.

Even when an aunt at the store secretly took me to the freezer room, slapped me hard, and called me a little vixen, I didn't cry.

She said: Mom is a big vixen who pretends to be sick to seduce men. When I grow up, I'll be just like Mom.

I thought: Mom never pretends to be sick, nor does she seduce men. All I want is to buy a big birthday cake and eat it with her.

My face hurts, my head is dizzy, and blood is coming from my nose.

Adults are very strange.

Adults often keep many things to themselves, not telling those close to them.

Qingqing is an adult, too.

I can't cry or worry Mom anymore.

When I got home at night, Mom hugged me. Her body smelled like herbal medicine.

She asked me, "Qingqing, what do you want to eat today?"

I buried myself in her arms. In a daze, I accidentally spoke my mind. "What does cake taste like?"

Mom was stunned for a moment and gently stroked my cheek. "Qingqing, do you want to eat cake?"

I shook my head. "I want the birthday noodles you make, Mom."

Birthday cakes are so expensive!

One or two hundred yuan would be enough to buy Mom's medicine for half a month.

They can't taste good at all.

…

My name is Ruan Qingqing, and I turn 12 this year.

Another day closer to adulthood.

But I'm a little sad.

The uncles and aunts at the restaurants don't want me. I went to many places, but no one would take me in.

Why?

I'm clearly an adult.

They said I look too small and short and that I'm unable to do heavy work.

Is it because I'm too short?

At night, when I hug my mom before going to sleep, I think about how I want to grow taller.

I want to share more of the burden with her so that I can protect her, too.

…

We moved!

Each building here has six stories, and I have my own room.

I also met the old lady who lives downstairs.

She gives me a White Rabbit milk candy every time she sees me.

I'm so happy!

But the uncle who lives across from us is a bit strange.

He stares at me and my mom intently.

I can't quite describe that look, but it made me feel very uncomfortable.

Mom said he's the uncle who owns the place we're renting.

She also said that when I'm home alone, I should lock the doors and windows and not open the door for anyone except her. If the landlord knocks, I should call her immediately.

…

My name is Ruan Qingqing, and I'm 13 years old.

Today is my happiest day!

I met a very handsome boy in the alley near our home.

The boy said that today is his 15th birthday.

What a coincidence!

But I don't celebrate birthdays anymore.

The boy looked lazy and lacked energy.

I asked him, "Are you tired? Didn't you sleep well?"

He squatted down slightly and softly replied, "Not really."

The boy's eyes are beautiful, like amber gemstones.

His gaze was calm. Unlike others, he didn't keep his distance because of my patched clothes and look at me strangely.

He said, "Whether you're happy or not, you must take good care of yourself."

He continued, "Being able to wake up to the warm sun and dress and eat warmly makes you a lucky person."

He continued, "Happy birthday."

He was also the first guy to proactively wish me a happy birthday.

Even though I didn't make a wish last year, I still got to eat cake.

I'm a bit puzzled.

Also, cream cake really is that delicious.

I'm so happy!

Really, really happy.

If possible, I wish he could stay by my side.

But I can't be selfish.

The young man has to go home, and all I can do is watch him leave.

I told my mom, "I met a very handsome young man today, and he even treated me to a birthday cake. Can I play with him in the future?"

After hearing this, she just looked at me with a strange, worried expression.

She said, "You haven't left the house all day. Where is this kind, handsome young man?"

I didn't understand, nor could I comprehend.

I pulled my mom to the entrance of the alley, but no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't see the figure.

Every time I pass by here, I stop. Then, I stop for a while longer.

But why?

I'll never find that young man again.

…

My name is Ruan Qingqing, and I am 14 years old.

I killed someone.

…

The landlord has been acting stranger and stranger lately.

Every time I walk up the stairs to go home, the door across the hall opens a tiny crack and an eye stares intently at me.

When my mom leaves for work, the landlord stands at my door with different snacks, trying to get me to let him in.

Sometimes, I hear the neighbors talking about him.

They said this person was imprisoned a few years ago for molesting children and was recently released.

He has a bad temper and a strange personality and often curses at people.

However, he has never cursed at me. Instead, when he looks at me, he gives me a creepy smile.

I'm a bit scared.

The other day, when I came home and walked up the stairs, I saw my mom arguing with the landlord. I was too far away to hear clearly, but I could vaguely make out words like "two people" and "support."

Mom was very emotional, and the landlord's face didn't look good either. He raised his hand as if to slap her.

I quickly ran over, stood in front of her, and shouted that I had already called the police.

The landlord just glanced at me, said nothing, and walked away with a sullen face.

Right then, Mom hugged me and said, "We'll move out in a few days and won't live here anymore."

I was a bit puzzled, but I didn't ask many questions.

Late at night, the pitch-black hallway was filled with the intermittent barking of dogs.

Lying in my room, I heard the faint sound of the doorknob turning in the living room.

The plump landlord entered the house, holding a key.

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