You're Strong But Now You're Mine-Chapter 69 Apology

"Ideals?"

The steam-spewing train rolled along the tracks across the plains, passing several checkpoints, stopping once at the Chenfeng border platform, where passengers who had waited from daybreak until nightfall quickly filled up the other half-empty carriages.

The reason this train could travel freely within Chenfeng District, of course, was not just due to a scrap of paper in the form of an agreement, but because both sides needed to send people to Yanjing.

The swaying train carriages made sleep almost impossible, and leaving home for the first time only added to the excitement. With only soft seats and no sleepers onboard, the four girls, strangers until dinner, quickly became close after a friendly meal. Their conversation stretched on without a pause, as if they’d known each other for ages and had endless things to share.

Yet their topics mostly revolved around the Royal Academy in Yanjing. Even Li Ying, who wasn’t interested in studying, found herself longing for this supreme institution in the capital. To them, the Royal Academy was no different from a world out of fairy tales, a place where, over millennia, countless scholars, poets, heroes, and lovers had all left their marks. freёwebnoѵel.com

The Royal Academy had birthed countless legends—the Royal Academy was a legend.

Naturally, as the conversation drifted to the academy, it turned to ideals, that dreamy, ethereal word. Li Ying mimicked a damsel’s delicate pose, gazed off longingly, and said, "My ideal is to meet my soulmate, who will be a peerless hero. He’ll take me on countless thrilling adventures, and in the end, we’ll find our happy ending, retire together to the countryside, and live side by side in a palace..."

"Mmhmm, mmhmm." Kui Nianruo nodded repeatedly as she listened, her eyes going dreamy. Apparently, she’d already been drawn into the fantasy Li Ying described, making Lin Xue and Qian Yuya, sitting beside her, both raise their eyebrows—they’d thought Li Ying was the only sheltered heiress, only to find out the shy and innocent Kui Nianruo was just as much of a closet romantic.

"Ying, have some peanuts."

"Nianruo, you must be thirsty—here, have some water."

Right before the two could start drooling, Lin Xue and Qian Yuya cut off their daydreaming in perfect time. Kui Nianruo took a sip of water, and, seeming to realize her earlier slip, blushed hard and hurried to change the subject, "My ideal is to master my family’s Wolf Eagle Fist."

Lin Xue shook her head lightly, "That doesn’t count as an ideal. An ideal is something you really want, but it’s also really hard to achieve... Is mastering the Wolf Eagle Fist truly the thing you want most?"

"Yeah!"

"What if your father stops forcing you to learn the Wolf Eagle Fist?" Earlier, Lin Xue had learned from their small talk that Kui Nianruo was often scolded by her father for failing to master Wolf Eagle Fist, so she followed that line of thought. "Suppose tomorrow the Royal Academy comes out with a new version of Wolf Eagle Fist, and your family’s style is no longer fit for this era, and your father definitely stops making you learn it... At that point, what would you most want to do?"

Kui Nianruo clutched her head, frowning, taking a good while to process Lin Xue’s scenario, then shook her braids and said, "Then, um, I guess... I’d want to go around tasting food everywhere?"

"You want to be a food critic?" The other three blinked, staring at Kui Nianruo in surprise.

"Not a food critic, no." Kui Nianruo shook her head, blushing. "I just always hear my dad say how the Skyrim District’s chickens are super tender, or that the barbecues and sauces in Youyun District are unforgettable, and that no one in Star Engraving County can properly recreate the spicy hotpot from the southwest... I just want to see if the food there is really that good."

Qian Yuya said, "So your father’s been to a lot of places."

"Yeah, and he says he picked up his cooking skills while traveling and learning from others on the road." Kui Nianruo broke into a smile. "If that counts as an ideal, then... honestly, I’d love to learn to cook as well. When I was little, I wanted my dad to teach me to cook, but he’d rather have me train in Combat Technique than set foot in the kitchen..."

Lin Xue looked into Kui Nianruo’s eyes, which lit up whenever she spoke of her father, and suddenly felt a strange pang in her heart. Though she’d only heard rumors of Kui Zhao, she knew the man was a ruthless executioner, the bane of countless Backlight Particle souls.

Yet in his daughter’s eyes, Kui Zhao was just a strict old man skilled in the kitchen—even a good father. Kui Nianruo had lost her mother young, and Kui Zhao had raised her all by himself, through every hardship.

Logically, growing up in that kind of environment, Kui Nianruo should have turned out rebellious. "But maybe Kui Zhao’s cooking was just too good, dulling down Nianruo’s rebellious streak before it could even start."

"A strict old dad, a notoriously ruthless Deputy Director of the Statistical Department..."

"Human nature was so complicated—everyone wore masks; we all lived as two-faced people in this world."

"So, Father, your death, was it really..."

"What about you, Xue?" Kui Nianruo asked, looping her arm through Lin Xue’s. "Xue, what’s your ideal?"

"I wanted to study hard until I had enough power to realize my father’s dream."

"But what if your father didn’t ask you to—"

"Nianruo, I’m not the same as you," Lin Xue said, smiling. "You don’t actually want to learn Wolf Eagle Fist, but I believe in my father’s ideal, and I choose to continue down his road willingly. Plus..."

"It’s not just my father—my uncle and my whole family have worked endlessly for this goal. I can’t let my ancestors down. If I gave up, wouldn’t it mean our ideals were a mistake?"

It seemed like Xue’s family business was in some kind of trouble... Kui Nianruo nodded blankly, then everyone looked at the last girl who hadn’t spoken yet.

"I know!" Li Ying raised her hand. "Xiao Yu’s dream is to become a Medical Officer who saves people in danger!"

Qian Yuya glanced at the dark fields outside the window, then replied after a while, "That used to be my ideal."

"Used to be?" Li Ying blinked. "When did that change? How come I didn’t know?"

"This afternoon."

"This afternoon?" Kui Nianruo asked curiously, "Wasn’t that when we were rushing to catch the train?"

"Yeah." Qian Yuya nodded. "I had a discussion with my brother then, and what he said changed my mind."

Lin Xue glanced at Qian Yuya, and casually asked, "What did your brother say?"

"My brother believes the world became worse for two reasons—first, a problem of productivity; there isn’t enough resources for everyone. Second, the distribution of those resources: Nobility and the rich have too much, leaving nothing for the poor."

"As a Medical Officer, you can’t fix either of those."

Qian Yuya looked down at her medical texts and let out a gentle sigh. "Studying medicine can’t save Huyao."

The topic hung a bit heavy, so Kui Nianruo clammed up, and Li Ying asked, "So you’re not studying to be a Medical Officer? What are you going to major in?"

"I haven’t decided yet—I’ll think about it some more."

Lin Xue asked, "It sounds like your brother has a big influence on you... Are you two close?"

Qian Yuya blinked, looking out the window, staying silent for a moment before answering, "Not really."

"You’re not?" Li Ying tilted her head. "Last time I saw your brother, he even hid his identity from me to ask about how you were doing in school... But I figured him out straight away! The only reason I told him anything was because he was kind of cute."

"He... has changed a lot lately," Qian Yuya replied. "For years before that, we wouldn’t say a single word to each other in a day."

Kui Nianruo was shocked. "Not even at dinner?"

"We haven’t eaten together for years. He gets home late, and I put his food in his room after I finish eating."

"Qian siblings had a seriously weird dynamic—the others exchanged looks, and Li Ying couldn’t help but ask, ’Why was it like that? That’s just bizarre—for a family not to eat together.’"

"Maybe he was mad."

"Mad? What was your brother angry about?"

At that moment, Qian Yuya suddenly fell silent, her face twisting with awkwardness, and after a long pause she said, "When I was little, I lost my temper at him."

"I think I was about twelve. After our mother died and our father followed not long after, succumbing to grief, one night I just got in a bad mood for no reason. He came to call me to dinner, but I threw a fit, yelling that I wanted our parents to eat with me and didn’t want to eat with him... He didn’t say anything, just divided half his meal for me, and we ate separately."

"And from then on, we always ate apart."

"Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest, or maybe it was just that the person involved is so far away." Qian Yuya laid out the story hidden deep in her heart in an even voice. "He must have been mad."

Li Ying was immediately indignant. "Mad over something like that? Your brother’s way too touchy, right? And to think I thought he was cute!"

"Exactly! Exactly!" Kui Nianruo jumped in. "And to stay mad for that long? Years? Holy crap, when I was eight, I pulled my dad’s braid and he stopped hitting me by the third day!"

Just as the two ranted about Qian Yuya’s brother, Lin Xue thought for a moment and said, "But maybe your brother thought you really didn’t want to eat with him, so he just chose to stay away?"

The complaints fell silent; everyone turned to look at Qian Yuya.

Qian Yuya froze, her expression a little lost. "I guess... that’s possible..."

Lin Xue asked, "You said he changed a lot—how did he change?"

Qian Yuya thought for a bit. "It was a night about half a month ago—it was raining. He came home drenched, and suddenly said he wanted to eat dinner together. From that day, it’s like he became a whole new person."

Lin Xue was stunned.

Half a month ago, on a rainy night... That was the night her father died.

"Ever since that night, everything changed, in the Lin family, in Qian Yuliu. She felt there was a heavy fog behind it all, but she was powerless to clear it away. Even attending school in Yanjing was only possible because of the little bit of shelter her father left behind."

Lost in her thoughts, Lin Xue said nothing more, and Qian Yuya also sank into reflection.

"Could it be that my brother wasn’t really mad—that he was just always accommodating me?"

"Am I the one who’s been holding a grudge this whole time?"

"Suddenly, Qian Yuya felt her cheeks burning, and her mind turned fuzzy. She turned and bit her hand hard, forcing herself to calm down."

"It’s fine, there’s still time to set things right. And anyway... Right, my tribulation!"

Qian Yuya gently touched the back of her neck and focused her Spiritual Power there. She could vaguely sense a progress bar nearing completion.

Her tribulation wasn’t actually difficult to cross—she just needed to have a meal at the same table as her brother, Qian Yuliu. From the number of times they’d eaten together over the last half month and the progress bar, she figured she had to eat with her brother seventeen times to cross her tribulation.

The reason it was seventeen times, probably... was because when she was twelve, her brother was seventeen.

Right now, there was still one meal left.

Qian Yuya let go of her hand, watching the fields outside slip by in the night, and her lips curled into a small smile.

Her brother had promised; he’d be in Yanjing soon.

They’d see each other again soon, and start over in Yanjing.

Next time they ate together, she was determined to apologize to him properly.

To finally put a perfect end to her tribulation.

...

...

Leyu looked down and saw a sword tip glowing with bluish-purple as it pierced through his chest.

He tried to fight back, but the sword sunk into his body like chained iron, locking him in place—he couldn’t move at all.

He felt distinctly that something inside him was flowing continuously into the blade. He was growing weaker and weaker, his body heavier and heavier, as if even Ice Blood would fail him soon.

"Yin... Yin... Yin..."

"If you’d boarded that train, if Kui Zhao had killed you, if you’d refused this mission... But there are no ifs in this world, that’s why there’s fate."

Yin Yinyin stood behind Leyu, watching the inky green blood glow seep slowly from the blade into his own body. He said calmly, "We didn’t get to say goodbye properly, but at least, before you die, I’ll make sure to apologize to you the right way."