Came here instead. Buried myself in work, trying to grind down the restless thoughts clawing at the back of my mind.

But now...

This pain in my chest didn’t feel random. It felt connected. Like something had snapped somewhere I couldn’t see, but I could damn well feel the aftermath of it tearing through me.

And for some reason... I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Did I feel bad for Ashley?

The hell I did.

How could I not? I grew up with her. She was there through everything, years of shared memories, of trust, of something that used to feel unshakable. You don’t just erase that like it’s nothing.

But the moment I realized Maddison was my fated mate... everything shifted.

Because I saw her. Really saw her and what she went through, what she endured while Ashley stood there, untouched, sheltered, carrying a name that handed her everything on a silver platter. And the more I learned about Maddison’s past, the more something dark and ugly started to build inside me.

Anger.

It didn’t feel fair. It didn’t feel right that one of them suffered while the other lived like she was untouchable. Like the world just bent around her because she was the Black Mountain Pack’s Alpha’s daughter.

So yeah... I convinced myself of something.

That Ashley needed to fall a little, too.

That whatever she had, her reputation, her standing, the way people looked at her, it wasn’t entirely hers to begin with. It was built on the Alpha’s daughter’s name, the Alpha’s bloodline, and the position that didn’t truly belong to her. And if that was the case... then tearing it down, stripping it away, handing everything over to Maddison—

It felt justified.

Like I was setting things right.

Let Ashley start from nothing for once. Let her struggle. Let her claw her way back up, if she even could.

I told myself that over and over until it stuck.

But guilt... it didn’t disappear.

It lingered. Quiet. Persistent. Sitting in the back of my mind, no matter how much I tried to bury it.

Still... every time it surfaced, something else drowned it out.

Maddison.

Her pain. Her past. The bond between us pulling tight around my chest, louder, heavier, demanding more from me than anything Ashley and I ever had.

So I hardened myself.

Forced it.

Because between the two of them... my heart chose my fated mate.

And all I could do was pathetically hope that maybe, Ashley would understand why I had to become this way.

No... Ashley would understand.

She always did. Out of everyone, she knew me best, knew how I thought, why I did things, even when I didn’t bother explaining myself. So yeah, I convinced myself she’d get it. That she’d see the bigger picture, see that there was a reason behind all of this.

But even knowing that... it didn’t settle the feeling tearing at my gut.

It just wouldn’t stop. 𝒻𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝘯𝘰𝑣ℯ𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝘮

I pushed back from my desk and stood, restless, my chest still tight as I walked toward the glass wall. The city stretched out below me, lights flickering, streets slowly thinning as the night dragged on, but I barely saw any of it. My mind was somewhere else entirely, looping the same thoughts, the same justifications, over and over until they started to sound hollow.

I don’t even know how long I stood there.

Hours, maybe.

Just staring, clenching my jaw, trying to force it into place, trying to believe in what I’d already decided.

Because once this was over... I’d explain everything to her.

I’d make her understand.

Tell her I wasn’t trying to destroy her, but I was trying to fix things. To force an end to whatever mess existed between her and Maddison so their parents wouldn’t have to choose, wouldn’t have to favor one over the other. That this... all of this... was necessary.

That it meant something.

And maybe, just maybe, once the dust settled, once the damage stopped bleeding...

We could go back.

Back to how we used to be.

Before everything got twisted.

Before I became the one standing here, trying to convince myself that what I did to her wasn’t crossing a line I could never come back from.

Or at least... that’s what I kept telling myself.

Because the truth? For the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure of anything.

I was split clean down the middle.

The mate bond pulled me toward Maddison like a chain wrapped around my throat, tightening every time I tried to resist. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t optional. It demanded her, her presence, her scent, the connection that sank straight into my bones and hooked my wolf like a drug.

The moment I caught even the faintest trace of her, I was gone. Control slipped, instincts took over, and if I tried to fight it, my wolf would start clawing inside me with restless violence and be on the edge of frenzy.

So I followed.

Again and again.

Like I had no choice.

But then... when it faded and when the high burned out and I could think again—

Ashley was still there.

Not just in my head, but in my chest. In the years we shared, in everything we built before any of this got twisted. That kind of bond doesn’t just disappear. It digs in, holds on, refuses to be erased, no matter how much I try to bury it.

And that’s where it broke me.

Because tomorrow... I’m the one who’s going to tear her down.

Publicly. Brutally. Strip everything from her in front of everyone, and I know damn well it’s not just her I’m destroying. It’s going to rip something out of me, too. A part I won’t get back.

But I keep calling it a sacrifice.

Something we both have to pay to make up for what Maddison went through. Like that somehow makes it right.

It doesn’t.

It just makes it easier to swallow.

Because what kind of sick joke is this? The Moon Goddess really had to twist it this way? It would’ve been enough to find out Ashley wasn’t the Alpha’s real daughter, but no, that wasn’t enough. Maddison had to be my mate too. I had to be forced into this choice, into this mess where no matter what I do, I lose something.

And I couldn’t face Ashley because of it.

Not these past weeks.

I avoided her. Ran from it. From her. Because every time I looked at her, that hesitation crept in, that doubt, and I knew if I let it take root, I wouldn’t be able to go through with any of this.

So I stayed away.

But no matter how far I tried to run, I couldn’t escape the pull of Maddison.

And no matter how deep I sank into that pull... I still couldn’t let Ashley go.

Back and forth. Over and over. Like I’m trapped in it.

And every time it cycles through, the guilt just digs deeper, stacking up until it feels like it’s going to crush me from the inside out.

Thinking about it too much wore me down. My head felt heavy, my chest tight, like every thought was grinding against bone.