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... disastrous moment was that one time in high school when she was calling her mathematics teacher a-gremlin-with-stick-shoved-up-his ass, while the said teacher was at her back with his mouth agape. That had earned her two weeks of suspension.

Another disastrous moment was when she farted, not a cute little toot but an outrightly loud fart that threatened to tear a hole inside her leggings, while she was on a first date with a potential boyfriend.

But nothing, nothing could top thi ...

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