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... the middle of a war. One day, you’re standing on the touchline at St James’ Park watching Neves volley the ball into the bottom corner, the next you’re sitting in your apartment in Dulwich with nothing to do and nobody to shout at.

It was Monday evening, October 2nd. I was on the sofa again, cold beer, Monday Night Football. Emma was in the kitchen, on the phone to her editor at The Athletic she had taken the column, and her first piece was due Friday.

She was pitching something ...

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She choked to death after drinking a mouthful of cold water. Was there anything more unlucky than this?

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Not only was she fat and round, but she also had a palm-sized black spot on her body.

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