MTL - Hunter: I’m Really Not a Mind Remover - ~ Chat + plot summary

I was left paralyzed with only a month to live, but that “9-inch” part of me was still hard as a rock. Even the sickly beautiful schoolgirl couldn't resist my “pecker,” and to fulfill my dying wish, my sister even dressed up as a lady in black stockings to teach me how to “drill.” What's more outrageous, the hospital nurses wanted to make a little movie with me, lining up with the head nurse at the front...Just after coming out of the emergency room, I saw the system panel:Name: Ethan JonesGender: MaleLength: 9 inchesSkill: Hard as a Rock LV1Note: Peak human hardnessDying Wish: To caress auntie's sheer black stockingsTask Reward Points: 1000 pointsDespite my strength and stamina attributes being only at 1, and my agility at 0, only my “pecker” could lift the heavy blanket while doing squats. My face was full of question marks—what kind of bug is this system? Just because I like looking at auntie's legs, did it give me such a special skill?Now, I have no choice. I must complete tasks to earn points and add attribute points.However, the story actually begins 12 hours earlier...

The heir of a border lord sacrificed his life in battle, hoping to repay the lord’s kindness, but his efforts were in vain.However, when he opened his eyes again…“I’m… the First Prince?”He had taken over the body of the notorious first prince.The only problem… this guy was going to die soon.

Long Chen, a crippled youth who cannot cultivate, is constantly targeted and bullied by his fellow noble heirs. After a particularly vicious beating, he wakes up and realizes a Pill God’s soul has somehow merged with him, giving him some additional memories. Within those memories is the mysterious Nine Star Hegemon Body Art, a cultivation technique that even he can train in, but whose secrets and origin are still a mystery to him. Relying on his improved instincts as he finally begins to cultivate, he realizes a huge conspiracy is underfoot within the Phoenix Cry Empire, one involving his father, members of the imperial family, and even the Emperor himself.

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”