My Ex-Girlfriend is the Strongest Guild Master and I'm the Weakest! - POST VOLUME 1 - Phantom Seekers Member’s Status

"Stay with me and I will give you everything your heart desires. For you, my darling, I would part the mountains, split the sea, and cause havoc on Earth just to have you."

My name is Tim, or it was until I died. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no white room to choose any cheats from, nor was there any meeting with God.

I didn’t die heroically while saving someone, and I certainly didn’t get hit by a truck. My death was rather stupid and anticlimactic, I had apparently bumped my head while sleeping and passed away...

That should have been the end of the road for me, but like many self-proclaimed main characters, I joined the army of multi-dimensional travelers and was reincarnated.

Being an avid light novel and manga reader, I would have been excited about the opportunity, if not for my new siblings, who tried to kill me as soon as I was born, or for my mother, who seemed to have a thing for throwing me off cliffs. And let’s not forget my murderous father, who forced me to flatten a small country as my Rite of passage.

Oh, did I mention I was reborn as a Dragon?

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Finn, your average college student with one noble goal: get home and watch some quality adult content in peace. Tragically, fate had other plans. A truck barreled toward him… then stopped halfway. The driver locked eyes with Finn—and hit him anyway.Now he’s dead.Wakes up in some divine waiting room. Gets mocked by a sarcastic, busty goddess. Gets offered the most useless powers imaginable.And worst of all? Still no porn.Frustrated beyond mortal comprehension, Finn throws an epic tantrum and drags the goddess down into the fantasy world with him. Now stuck in a realm full of grotesque monsters, cursed towns, and suspiciously moist terrain, Finn has no idea what he’s doing. No clue. No dignity. Suffering most of the time.With zero powers, infinite horniness, and one very angry divine companion, can Finn survive this absurd new world?Can he dodge death, outwit demonic squirrels, and maybe—just maybe—score a waifu?Or will he die in this world too…still painfully uncuddled?Let the absurd isekai disaster begin.[WARNING: THIS BOOK IS UNHINGED. DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO ANYTHING—IT’S ALL FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.]