The Crippled Boss Loves Me - Chapter 395 - I'm Calling the Police

Guys here is my pitch.....In the sprawling world of fantasy, we’ve often been treated to tales of heroes reincarnated with divine blessings, legendary powers, or cheat-like abilities, thrust into magical lands as shining saviors—or chaotic terrors. But what happens when the very concept of reincarnation becomes a curse? When the divine boon is a big fat joke, and the “cheat system” doesn’t quite… cheat?Enter John, the unluckiest reincarnate. Blessed by a god and thrust into a fantasy world, he dreams of glory, power, and adventure—only to wake up as a normal, utterly powerless bird. Not a mythical phoenix, not an ancient thunder eagle. Just… a bird.To make matters worse, this world is no ordinary realm. It's a land scarred by the devastating legacies of past isekai’d heroes and villains, whose reckless exploits piled skeletons into mountains and turned their cheats into harbingers of chaos. Fed up with these unruly intruders, the ancients of the realm banded together to create a world-shaking seal: all reincarnated souls are trapped in the bodies of harmless animals, confined to isolated sanctuaries that function more like fantasy zoos.Here’s the twist: this isn’t mercy. It’s a resource grab. The powerful beast tamers of this realm have turned these reincarnated souls into exotic pets, prized for their cheat-like potential.John finds himself at the bottom of the food chain in every sense. His cheat doesn’t work. His human form is gone. And his world is filled with predatory cultivators who see him as either a snack or a tool.But John isn’t one to give up so easily. What starts as despair quickly turns into cunning survival. With wings and wit as his only tools, John must navigate layers of misfortune, dodge fate’s sharp talons, and cheat his way through a world determined to keep him grounded.Get ready to join John on a wildly unconventional journey—one where reincarnation isn’t a ticket to greatness, but a death sentence he’s determined to rewrite. His story is one of humor, wit, and persistence, as he explores a world where he is the joke and his survival is the punchline.Main tags: reincarnation/isekai, beast taming cultivation system, comedy, action, adventure.Of course No-harem!

To this day, Associate Professor Li is still somewhat puzzled.Why has the Immortal Cultivation Realm changed so much in just a hundred years?Looking at the new Sword Sect elective textbook on the table, Li became more silent.[Chapter 1, Introduction to Sword Control Theory][Chapter 2, Maintenance and Care of Qinghe Series Thousand Machines Cruiser][Chapter 3, Postpartum Care of Sword-Toothed Beasts]......Closing the textbook, Li gave up thinking.But just as he was gathering his teaching materials to go to class, a brick-thick book was thrown in through the window.'You Let Me Enter the Sword Sect'Looking at this broken book, Associate Professor Li Guanqi recalled the afternoon he brought Zhang Ze into the Sword Sect.

On their wedding night, she gnashed her teeth, yelling, “Your Highness, that’s shameless!”

Set off by the flickering light of red candles, he curved the corner of his mouth into a wicked grin, “Actually, I can be more shameless…”

…

When they met for the first time, he was the young prince who lived in his day of brilliance, while she was the pampered princess of the adjacent state.

When they met again, he became the crippled underdog suffering from frustration, while she became the lackluster hostage stranded in an alien land.

In his mid-life, he was defeated in the fight and had his legs broken; his wife passed away and he didn’t have anything left except his father’s detestation… After constant blows took the edge off his spirit, all he wanted was nothing but serenity.

In her teen-age, her state perished and her home lost; she lapsed into an awkward situation after being abandoned and having her marriage annulled… As endless hardships isolated her from happiness, everything she wished for was no more than peace.

…

“Lu Zhishan, when I first met you, I didn’t think I’d marry you…too old,” after years passed by, one day, she lay on his laps mumbling, with a kind of hazy beauty on her boozy face, “and lame.”

“Mu Nanzhi, you have the wrong memory. At our first meeting, I’m neither old nor limp.”

“…When was that?”

“When people were celebrating your first birthday,” that man assumed all gentleness and joy crept on his eyes and brows, “On that day, you were ‘drawing lots’ in the rear hall. I also sneaked there to have a look. But, out of my expectation, you directly grabbed my true-love knot.”

…

How vivid the red love pea is embedded in the exquisitely carved dice,

Just as my feelings for you deep in my bones.

- Description from Novelupdates

Drizzles in the wind, a small shop with pennants, and flower-like vintners.

Xinfeng’s fine wine, tenderly-fresh sunflowers shoots, and superb delicacies.

Lin Yan, Shaoyin of Jingzhao laid his eyes on the restaurant’s owner who has skin as fair as snow and beautiful apricot eyes.

It was pitiful and pathetic for a young lady from high-society to fall into the situation of selling wine…

Yet Shen Shaoguang thought: With wines and delicacies, and being able to see handsome young lads pass by…Life is treating her well enough!

Lin Yan’s expression was heavy, these young lads dress up fancily every day, showing off themselves and playing boring games like rooster fights and dog races…It’s time to straighten them out!

- Description from Novelupdates