The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir - Chapter 17

“Black Myth: The Destined One” the mobile game, sent Li Ping'an back to the Journey to the West World where deities and Buddhas had perished, demons roamed freely, and the Three Realms had collapsed. The longer he survived, the stronger he became.Cultivation, Divine Skills, Side Techniques, Magical Treasures... and the like were obtained from the game and could even be taken back to the real world.Black Bear Spirit Bodhisattva, Shadowy Moon Demon Lord, Howling Celestial Dog, Hundred Eyes Demon Lord Bodhisattva, King Huang Feng Bodhisattva, Old Buddha Huang Mei... One after another, those claiming to be immortals, Bodhisattvas, and Buddha Ancestors fell beneath his staff.Only after he had acquired wealth and status in the real world through the Cultivation, Divine Skills, Side Techniques, and Magical Treasures obtained from the game, did he realize that the real world was nothing more than the Nineteenth Layer of Hell in the Journey to the West World...With an undying heart, at ease and carefree, the Destined One Li Ping'an embarked on Journey to the West once more!

There’s SIS in great Britain, CIA in the US. In Huaxia, there’s Dragon Division, known as the mysterious power of the East.

When a soldier that originally failed to be selected to join, appeared on the Dragon Division’s list again, no one noticed, that this inconspicuous and humble looking guy was actually the Dragon King of the division, the one that’s most difficult to deal with.

He was a man, whose appearance gave every one existential crisis, including a fly that was consecutively caught by him with a pair of chopsticks.

Of course, this story is hilarious as well.
[Shen Yao laughed. “You think I would help you? For what reason?”

Xu Cheng sighed. “Shen Yao, to be honest, you are really pretty.”

“Humph.” Shen Yao snorted coldly, “Can you elaborate on that for me?”

“I don’t know how to get into details, but I can only say that when I accidentally tore your skirt today, I got a boner.” ]

- Description from Novelupdates

Xiang Yu was perfectly content with his mediocre life on Earth—average job, average apartment, average everything. That is, until he woke up in the legendary World of Cultivation, where martial artists fly through the skies and immortals battle over ancient treasures.There's just one problem: Xiang Yu wants absolutely NONE of that action.Armed with only his wits and a peculiar system that doubles his exp every 24 hours, Xiang Yu has one goal: become powerful enough to live in peace without getting involved in those ridiculous “protagonist” situations. No ancient tombs. No tournament arcs. And for heaven's sake, stay FAR away from anyone named Chen Mo, Lin Feng, or Li Yao—those names practically scream “main character who will drag me into deadly situations!”Starting with strength stats so pathetic he can barely lift a cultivation manual, Xiang Yu must somehow survive long enough for his exponential growth to matter. After all, doubling zero cultivation talent still equals zero... at first.Follow Xiang Yu on his hilarious journey from zero to hero as he desperately tries to stay invisible while his power skyrockets beyond control! Watch as he dodges cultivation tournaments, avoids suspicious elders bearing gifts, and runs the other way whenever someone mentions “ancient inheritance” or “chosen one.”Join the adventure of the most reluctant cultivator in history whose only wish is peace and quiet, but whose exponential growth makes him the most terrifying force this cultivation world has ever seen!

Travel through the world of martial arts, get a god-level kidnapping system, and vow to be the number one kidnapper in the universe.

As long as you don’t want to tie it, there is nothing you can’t tie!

Guo Jing, your daughter has been kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If you don’t want me to do anything to her, you can exchange it with Jiuyin Zhenjing and Eighteen Palms of Subduing Dragon!

What, so obedient?

Then I’ll give you a grandson for free.

…………

Yang Guo, your aunt was kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If she knew the face, she would have cut up her own little penis!

What? Yin Zhiping, do you want to cut too?

Well, I will send you a dragon-slaying knife, cut iron like mud, and guarantee that there will be no pain!

…………

Duan Zhengchun, your wife and daughter have been tied up by Lao Tzu, hurry up and hand over all the martial arts secrets of Yi Yang Finger, Six Meridian Divine Sword, etc., and then kill yourself!

What? Want to have sex with your wives again before you die?

Fuck you, they have been scolded by Lao Tzu “Japanese…

- Description from novelbuddy