The Indomitable Master of Elixirs - Chapter 286 - : Dogfight (2)

Question: “When one summer day, you find a cucumber inexplicably appearing on the vagin of a beautiful woman in the living room, how should you save her?” “A. Pull it out” “B. Suck it out” “C.**********” Years later, when Li remembered this scene again, he hated himself for not choosing C... --------- “Yikes, what’s pressing against me?” Meng Lin instinctively exclaimed, immediately looked down, and upon seeing the alarming outline, she exclaimed in surprise, “Qianfan, why did you put your white cane inside your pants? Are you afraid someone will steal it? Let sister-in-law help you take it out!” With that said, Meng Lin reached out her hand… ------ “Sister-in-law, were you masturbating yourself?” Li Qianfan pretended to be shocked. “A cucumber has fallen inside my vagin, can you help me get it out?” No wonder his sister-in-law looked so thirsty; it was because she was often unsatisfied. “Sister-in-law, don’t cry, I’ll help you get it out right now!” After offering comfort, Li Qianfan placed his palm on Meng Lin’s thigh and began moving slowly towards the place where the cucumber was submerged……

Get ready to swat away tears of laughter and brace yourself for the most buzzworthy adventure of the century! Meet Ben Franklin, the world's foremost expert in attracting bad luck and the unlikeliest hero you'll ever encounter.

From stumbling over his own shoelaces to triggering fire alarms with a single glance, Ben's life is a never-ending comedy of errors. And if you thought his luck would change in the afterlife, think again! Even the god of opportunity couldn't resist the magnetic pull of Ben's bad luck charms.

Just as Ben was about to embark on a new adventure in the great beyond, fate took a hilarious twist. A glitch in the universe turned him into a mutant mosquito, reincarnated along with the very reincarnation system itself! Now that's what you call a bug in the matrix!

The absence of a reincarnation system in the universe has resulted in a cosmic crisis. With dead souls wandering aimlessly and lifeless babies popping out like deflated balloons, it's up to our unlikely hero to solve the mystery and save the day!

Now armed with six legs, buzzing wings, and an insatiable thirst for adventure (and, let's not forget, blood), the legend of Ben Franklin, the most unlikely hero in the insect kingdom, began. With his quirky sense of humour and insatiable thirst for justice, he embarked on a hilarious and unconventional quest to save the universe, leaving behind a trail of itchy mosquito bites and bacterial infections in his wake.

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[COMPLETE] Can a royal Romeo and Juliet find their happy ending?

Ayleth, Princess of Zenithra, is secretly trained in hand-to-hand combat, and collects swear words she doesn't know how to use. During the Festival of Peace, in which every royal son on the continent will be at the castle for a month, she is instructed by her parents to find a husband. Yet, Ayleth has never even been kissed—until the very first ball, when she meets the man in the Lion mask.

Etan is a seasoned warrior, and the Prince of Summitras. He attends the Festival hoping to find a powerful wife who will help him conquer the dark sorcery of their bloodsworn enemies, the Kingdom of Zenithra. But at the very first ball, he discovers the masked woman who captures his heart is the Heir to the evil empire.

Ayleth and Etan face an impossible battle. Will their love survive? Or will their parents' dark dealings keep them apart forever?

[Mature content. No sexual violence.]

******

“You…” She stepped back. Then back again, her mouth dropped open. “You… You cannot be…”

“I am,” Etan said, and his hair raked back as he pushed his mask off his handsome face. So handsome her heart raced.

His hair was ebony black, his skin a warm brown that threatened to fade in in the winter months. He stared at her with glittering green eyes, over high cheekbones and a noble nose, his jaw tight and shadowed this late in the day. His chin was high over the pillar of his neck that she’d just touched with its hard lines and steel strength, so different to her own. And his chest... She gasped and covered her eyes. She’d humiliated herself revealing her stupid, childish curiosity.

“No, Ayleth. This changes nothing.”

“How can you say that? It changes everything!” She was horrified to realize she was crying.

“Ayleth, please.” His voice cracked on the plea and she stared at him, shoving her mask up and off, despite how it would pull her hair out of the beautiful twist the maid had managed for her.

His eyes locked on hers and she couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe.

She had met her One. And he was the son of her bloodsworn enemy.

She stared at him as he stepped forward again, offering both hands, palm up. “Touch me,” he whispered. “Hold my hands. This is real, Ayleth. I don’t know how it happened, but this is real. Please don’t deny it.”

She couldn’t resist. She raised a trembling hand to his cheek, letting her palm catch on the scruff of his jaw. He blew out a breath and put his hand over hers, and that jolt that happened whenever they touched shivered through her again.

“Please, Ayleth.”

“I cannot deny it,” she whispered.

Qingyun found herself having traveled back in time to ancient days, with a splitting headache. She hadn't activated any ancient survival skills!She couldn't compose poetry or engage in literary exchanges.Sewing and embroidery? No clue.Pleasing men? Even worse.Farming or doing business? Clueless.With no other options, she had to choose a profession that required none of the above skills....Years later, those who once served her, now ministers and generals, listened as Qingyun, who had ascended to the throne as the empress, said: 'You might not believe it, but I never intended to be the empress.'The ministers and generals replied, 'That's right, that's right. Everything you say is correct. It was us who forced you into this position.'