The Regressors are Trying to Kill Me - Chapter 55

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

“Who would've imagined that I, the mighty Burning Heaven Dragon Emperor, would be reborn as a mere beast?!”As one of the...

The most beautiful old ancestor of the immortal sect, who lived for five thousand years, repeatedly broke the rules of immortality and was punished by the Heavenly Dao.Upon opening her eyes, she became the true daughter of the Xia family, who had been kidnapped into a mountain village as a child.She thought she would have to suffer through all the hardships of the human world, but who knew that when she woke up she was directly 14 years later, on the very day she was rescued—She wanted to run wild and be beautiful on her own, but her whole family pampered her to the heavens!Want to do scientific research? Three big brothers donate a research institute.Headache and cold? Powerful parents gather authoritative experts overnight, starting the examinations from cancer.Rumors in Capital City are never-ending: The Xia family's daughter is a spoiled and arrogant waste!The Xia family rose in defiance, but Xia Ye just laughed: I'll handle it myself.The foremost classic instrument of China, she made it casually 500 years ago.The ancient texts that students memorize until they're bald, necessary for the college entrance exam, were written by her 700 years ago in a drunken stupor.The world's seventh greatest unsolved mystery—a relic Sky Pit with a diameter of 7,300 meters—was created by her 1,000 years ago during a quarrel with Heavenly Dao.Everyone was waiting for her to show off and fail miserably, but the Xia family kept receiving calls from the Mutant Plant Association, metaphysics masters, supernatural organizations, cultural archaeology bureaus... “Has the old ancestor returned?”Later, Xia Ye ascended to the second spot on the global rich list. At the award ceremony, she raised an eyebrow: What happened to the divine retribution and punishment, it seems quite nourishing?By her side, the world's richest man, the Heavenly Emperor in a suit and shoes: How could I truly punish my own wife...

As Orson read the novel written by the girlfriend who had left him, he gently remarked on how terrible the story was. But then, noticing a foul smell coming from the kitchen, he went to investigate. He realized there was some kind of gas leak. Already furious about being dumped, Orson became even angrier at the state of his kitchen, and in his rage, he hit the light switch with a powerful punch. Naturally, the explosion that followed killed him instantly, and Orson passed into the afterlife.After spending some time in limbo, he found himself reincarnated in an unfamiliar world. However, he quickly realized he had been reborn inside the cliché-filled novel written by his ex-girlfriend. As if that wasn’t enough, he had ended up in the body of Neonidas, a useless duke who was also the fiancé of the story's villainess.____There may be a bit too much swearing and slang in the first chapters, but it gets less afterwards.There will be no yuri, bl or ntr in Neonidas(MC) harem