This Lady Is Trying to Kill Me - Chapter 4

In an exhilarating twist of fate, Jiang Chen traverse into a fantasy realm novel he read, taking on the role of the notorious Holy Son in a riveting tale. But here’s the catch – he’s pegged as the female lead’s obedient doglicker. Or so the story initially wanted…Unleashing the ‘Slack Off System’, Jiang Chen flips the script! Each act of slacking off spectacularly rewards him. Doglicking duties? Jiang Chen smirks at the thought. “Not in a million realms,” he declares.As the system chimes melodically, rewards rain down like immortal gifts:Ding, for successfully slacking off, you receive: the Emperor Weapon, All-Heaven Mirror!’Ding, another round of slacking off earns you: the Immortal Technique, Great Daluo Heaven!’Ding, for successfully slacking off you received: Immortal Emperor Cultivation!’But wait, there’s a twist in the tale! The world around Jiang Chen starts to unravel in the most unexpected ways.The character settings of the female leads have all collapsed.Junior Sister Ye Qingcheng: ‘I can only repay your life-saving grace with my body!’Cold and aloof master: ‘Disciple, I allow you to defy your master.’

«Bleh.» — Imp. An Imp, a monster known to kill with a grin, a demon of the world, a creature of incredible might! Something that no force in the world can stand against! At least that’s what the Main Character would like himself to be, the reality is very different, however.

Exactly that Imp stumbles along a path of unfortunate fortunes and grows through it, in a world that hates its very existence.

It grows more intelligent, more powerful, simply better at whatever it needs to do. Amongst other things, that includes raising children, killing Soldiers, and carving wooden figurines for money.

Warriors train their bodies. Scholars fill their minds. Every cultivator must have both and the talent to harness qi. But when the youngest princess of the murim lord was born, her golden core had to be sealed immediately because her talent for harvesting qi was too strong. Follow her as she regains her talent as the weakest murim princess.

“They Call Guys Like Me a Simp.”(Meanwhile, I’m out here living what their favorite MC only dreams about.)You ever notice how stories glorify the ones who feel nothing?The MC who never laughs.Never feels.Who plays women like chess pieces and calls it intelligence.He manipulates a girl? “He’s strategic.”He never opens up? “He’s mysterious.”He never flinches, never laughs, never lives —And you call that strength?Funny.Because to me?That’s just a prison in disguise.You see an “alpha.”I see a boy too scared to feel anything real.While they spend ten chapters monologuing about logic and sacrifice,I’m already making the Saintess scream,drenched in sin,halo cracked,legs trembling from truths her prayers never taught her.And I didn’t get there with cold eyes or control.I got there with laughter and chill. With warmth. With a grin and a hand on her thigh.I didn’t need to dominate her mind —I freed her heart.But that scares people, doesn’t it?Because readers trust the ones who suffer.Who stay quiet.Who kill without blinking and love without showing it.But me?I flirt.I laugh.I take hits and smile back, bloody and defiant, as if too weak to get angry.I don’t need to pretend emotions are weakness.I weaponize mine.Pleasure. Connection. Laughter.That’s my arsenal.And while your favorite MC is still calculating his next five moves,Trying to outwit death and romance like both are math problems,I’m already balls deep in the jade fairy — her sacred yin furnace clenching like it’s worshipping my shaft, her Dao Echo shattered into breathless moans, and her so-called cultivation path leaking down her thighs while she begs me to break her meridians again.You call that luck?Nah.That’s mastery of the three worlds.Because in a world that respects coldness,I came in hot.Where others manipulate, I connect.Where they posture, I play.Where they sacrifice, I seduce.So go ahead.Call me a simp.But while your genius MC is busy monologuing about destiny,I’m the one making goddesses question theirs —with a smirk, a touch, and no regrets.I’m not the hero.Not the villain.I’m just a simp… the kind who leaves your cold, emotionless MC’s woman dripping, ruined, and too stretched to go back to him.