Vaudevillain - VV4, 32 - Piazza Pilfering

I was just your average student—no special talents, no grand dreams, and most importantly… no girlfriend. My days were spent grinding through life, with my only true passion being games, mangas, and web novels.Every day, I’d see couples walking by, holding hands, whispering sweet nothings, and I’d think, Hell yeah! When's it my turn?! I mean, I deserve a cute girlfriend too, right? Someone to hold, someone to kiss—just once, please!But, of course, life had other plans.One second, I was daydreaming about romance. The next? BAM! Truck-kun hit me with the ultimate rejection letter—straight to another world. When I opened my eyes, I realized I had reincarnated... but not as the hero, not even as the sidekick. Nope. I got stuck as some low-level villain—a total extra—the kind that exists just to get one-shot by the protagonist in the early chapters.The good news? I know this game inside out.The bad news? The whole world is out to kill me.But if they think I'm going down that easily, they're in for a surprise. Using my game knowledge, I'll dodge every death flag, exploit every loophole, and rise to the top! And hey, if I end up with a harem of gorgeous girls along the way? Well… let’s call it a happy bonus!This is my story—where I rewrite my destiny, break the game, and maybe... just maybe... finally get that kiss!Support this Shameless Author with Power Stones Gifts and Golden Tickets

Sixty Years ago, one middle aged man brought a Qilin that looked like a pug and a mandarin duck that looked exactly like a duck, walking into the Imperial City of the Central Plains for the first time.

As a renowned fierce god in the infinite flow world, Ye Jia deliberately hid his strength after clearing it and found an idle job in the Logistics Department of the Paranormal Investigation and Management Bureau. He originally thought that he would be able to return to his salted fish life and live comfortably. But what Ye Jia didn’t expect was…… One day, he opened the fridge and was met with an evil spirit’s vicious head, “Boss, boss. Did you miss me…..” Ye Jia: “………” He slammed the door shut and fell into deep thought. Wasn’t there something wrong with this world? The TV behind him was broadcasting news: Recently there has been a surge in paranormal events and the number of missing persons has sharply increased. It is currently under investigation….. * With the infinite flow escape game unexpectedly crashing, countless demons and ghosts trapped in it were released, bringing disaster to the world. Only Ye Jia who cleared the game knew the truth. All of these……..were old acquaintances……… Ye Jia: My life is too difficult. #I clearly just want to be an ordinary corporate s*ave# Finally, one day, he saw an unexpected monster. After two seconds of silence, Ye Jia greeted dryly: “…….You came out too. What a coincidence.” The man before him smiled and slowly approached him, “My boyfriend ran away from home. Of course, I should come out to catch him and bring him back.” Ye Jia: “……..” Who would have thought that, along with the global sensation of ghost doors opening in the mortal world, there was also….. His peach blossom debt. It can’t be, sir. This is also okay?

Travel through the world of martial arts, get a god-level kidnapping system, and vow to be the number one kidnapper in the universe.

As long as you don’t want to tie it, there is nothing you can’t tie!

Guo Jing, your daughter has been kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If you don’t want me to do anything to her, you can exchange it with Jiuyin Zhenjing and Eighteen Palms of Subduing Dragon!

What, so obedient?

Then I’ll give you a grandson for free.

…………

Yang Guo, your aunt was kidnapped by Lao Tzu. If she knew the face, she would have cut up her own little penis!

What? Yin Zhiping, do you want to cut too?

Well, I will send you a dragon-slaying knife, cut iron like mud, and guarantee that there will be no pain!

…………

Duan Zhengchun, your wife and daughter have been tied up by Lao Tzu, hurry up and hand over all the martial arts secrets of Yi Yang Finger, Six Meridian Divine Sword, etc., and then kill yourself!

What? Want to have sex with your wives again before you die?

Fuck you, they have been scolded by Lao Tzu “Japanese…

- Description from novelbuddy