The gauze was supposed to be smooth, like silk.

Now, it no longer felt the same.

Dried blood caked the gauze, turning it hard and flaky.

Even in its present state, Qin Shu recognised it immediately. It was Chao Yan’s blindfold.

She stood abruptly, searching for some sign that its owner was still alive. However, no trace of the slender figure in her memories wandered the night. Only the cloying smell of blood remained.

She clenched the gauze in her hand. Where did Chao Yan go?

Chao Yan could not have gone far, not in his condition.

She did not want to consider how such a lively life could be snuffed so easily.

Fu Tingyu stood by her side, squeezing her shoulder in comfort. Seeing the bloodstained gauze in her hand and the worry creasing her brow, he knew it belonged to Chao Yan.

He slipped his hand into hers and realised how cold and clammy it felt.

“Babe,” he tried.

Qin Shu did not respond.

“Chao Yan’s martial strength is on par with ours. A pack of wolves is nothing to him,” he offered reassuringly.

Fu Tingyu believed he was ruthless, but after seeing the pitiful state the dead wolves were left in, he could not help but reassess himself. The wolves were not killed; they were slaughtered. Their deaths had not been quick or painless; rather, it looked like they had been cruelly butchered for some sick amusement.

Only someone with extreme bloodthirst would take pleasure in such measures.

He did not know how bad Chao Yan’s physical condition was, but for him to leave the pack of wolves in such a state…

It was hard to imagine what was going through his mind as he fought them.

Qin Shu’s grip on Chao Yan’s gauze was so tight that her knuckles turned white. If she did not know Chao Yan’s physical condition or that he was going to die, she would have concurred with her husband’s assessment. Chao Yan should not have had much trouble dispatching a measly pack of wolves.

But she did know.

She knew that Chao Yan was frail, so thin it pained her. That, compounded with his inability to see, made his situation worse. Qin Shu recalled how she slapped him so hard that he fell to the ground and could not get up for a long time.

The scene replayed itself in her mind, making her feel worse. Qin Shu began to regret her actions.

If she had not turned so suddenly, their lips would not have touched, and the kiss that ensued would never have taken place.

The thought of Chao Yan fighting tooth and nail for his life in his condition, surrounded by a pack of wolves with nowhere to go or anyone to help him… It was something she did not dare to imagine.

She held Fu Tingyu’s hand tightly. “Hubby…” She called out uneasily.

Fu Tingyu could not see Qin Shu’s expression in the pitch-black darkness of night. He could, however, feel his wife shaking like a leaf and did his best to assuage her fears. “Don’t worry. We’ll keep looking.”

“Okay.” Qin Shu clasped her husband’s hand tightly and continued searching for signs of Chao Yan.

A dim white light illuminated the eastern skies as the sun peeked over the horizon.

Fu Tingyu looked up. By chance, he was watching the advent of dawn with his wife. Truly, watching a sunrise from the open plains was a unique experience. It was a shame that the search for Chao Yan ruined much of the pleasure he derived.

The rising sun looked like the yolk of a duck’s egg. The closer it drew to the sky, the brighter it glowed.

Soon, daylight filled his senses. Light swept away the dark pall of night, drawing a bright arc as it breathed life into the world.

It was breathtaking.

It was a shame that such a beautiful scene could only be witnessed for a short time each day, and he had not had the foresight to bring a film crew to record him watching it with his wife.

Unlike her husband, Qin Shu was too tired to pay attention to anything outside her concern for Chao Yan’s safety. With the light of a new day, she could see better, but it did not help her locate Chao Yan.

Fu Tingyu gently squeezed Qin Shu’s hand and advised, “Babe, let’s go back for now. We won’t find him if we search aimlessly.”

Though Qin Shu did not wish to return just yet, she knew he was right. It would be like searching for a needle in a haystack if they continued blindly, so she nodded and said, “Okay.”

Turning around, they passed the bodies of the dead wolves. She counted them now that there was more light—six of them. Six wolves lay dead, their bodies battered and broken.

Perhaps it was the light, but the scene of carnage appeared more shocking than the night before.

Fu Tingyu only glanced at the wolves as he shepherded his wife away. “Don’t look.”

Qin Shu allowed him to lead the way. She stared at Chao Yan’s blindfold, immersed in the deep crimson stains dyeing the gauze. “I can’t shake the unease I feel.”

Fu Tingyu side-eyed the bloodstained cloth his wife was so engrossed by, his sharp brows furrowing. “He’s my sworn enemy. Why are you so worried about him?”

Qin Shu was not paying attention to Fu Tingyu, so she missed the venom in his words or the scorn in his expression. “I keep feeling that I’ve gone too far this time,” she answered softly.

“If I had not broken my promise and left a day later, maybe he would not have ventured out alone.”

Qin Shu looked up at her husband, blinking back tears. Fu Tingyu responded with a kiss.

He grabbed her by the back of her head and deepened the kiss.

Fu Tingyu could tolerate his wife having male friends, but he could not tolerate his wife thinking about other men.

Qin Shu could not breathe; she was suffocating under Fu Tingyu’s passionate kiss. When he finally released her, she gasped for breath, hot and flushed, while he sported a satisfied smirk.

“I don’t think you’ve gone too far. You’re my wife. What right does he have to ask you to do this and that? Is he the emperor’s father or some other ridiculous figure? Regardless of his status, I’ll still crush him underfoot if he thinks he can do as he likes,” Fu Tingyu growled, his words harsh and overbearing.

Something clicked in her head then.

Fu Tingyu was jealous.

She stroked his firm chest, drawing calming circles in his shirt.

“I don’t remember everything; some parts of my memory remain spotty at best. They probably have some relation to Chao Yan.”

Fu Tingyu found his wife’s actions amusing. Was he getting old?

He did not want her to remember everything; it was for the best. What would she do if she did recall the past in its entirety? Would she still love him?

Fu Tingyu wrapped his arms around his wife, enjoying their shared proximity as they bathed in the morning light. He wanted Qin Shu’s eyes on him and no one else. Nobody could have what was his.

Qin Shu looked down. Worry continued to gnaw at her. She had a vague impression of a dream about Chao Yan, but every time she tried to grasp ahold of it, it would slip between her fingers like grains of sand.

–

Yin Shi was back when they returned to the yurt. He looked exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes. His lips were chapped, and his clothes were a mess. Qin Shu doubted he had gotten any rest since Chao Yan disappeared.

Yin Shi spotted Qin Shu as soon as she drew near the yurt with Fu Tingyu at her side. They must have returned together.

“Why did Miss Qin come back?” Yin Shi asked, his tone frosty.

“I came to look for Chao Yan. I found this among a pile of dead wolves.” Qin Shu did not dwell on Yin Shi’s hostility; instead, showing him the bloodstained gauze. Under the morning light, the crimson splotches on the white gauze were particularly eye-catching.

Yin Shi recognised that it was his master’s at a glance. “You injured my master quite badly because of a misunderstanding at the end of last year. Master is already so frail… How could you be so cruel to him?”

“You left him lying on the cold ground with nothing to cover him. The tea had already frozen over when I discovered him. Did you consider whether he would freeze to death lying helpless there? Would my master have accepted a hit but for you?”

“We were contracted to kill Yan Shuang. She happens to be in the same line of work. It was a job. So what if she faked her injury? We would have dealt with her all the same. Master just wanted to get rid of someone who would hurt you. He would rather stain his hands in blood than see you suffer…”

“You nearly killed him.”

Yin Shi wept silent tears for his master. Perhaps it was the heat of the moment, but he revealed the truth, venting his anger on the sole outlet available.

He would never forget that day.

That day his master lay on the cold hard ground coughing blood in the heart of winter. He could still envisage the blood as pooled and froze while his master struggled to stand. The mere memory was enough to send his blood boiling.

“He helped you find Fu Tingyu and even showed you the way despite the abuse you rained on him.”

Qin Shu felt suffocated. Yin Shi couldn’t be speaking the truth… could he? She thought Chao Yan had taken a job to assassinate Fu Tingyu. She did not know he was targeting Yan Shuang or that she was playing possum to get her hands on Fu Tingyu.

If it were not for Yan Shuang’s ploy to assassinate Fu Tingyu, her husband, why else would Chao Yan step in and accept a contract to kill her? He almost lost his life because of it!

Had she been wrong all along? Had she hurt him because of a mistake?

Back then, Fu Tingyu fell off the cliff, causing her to panic and lash out. When she found out that Chao Yan had sent an assassin, she concluded that he must have been responsible for everything.

Chao Yan did not deny any of the accusations she levied his way.

Why would he when she did not bother to listen to him? She was so angry then that anything he said would have washed over her like water off a duck’s back.

Now, all she felt was guilt and endless regret.

No wonder she could not stop feeling uneasy.

“Every time Master helped you, he risked his life. What about you? What have you ever done for him? Other than hurting him, what else do you know?” Yin Shi seethed.

Qin Shu remained silent as Yin Shi lambasted her indignant as he was on his master’s behalf. Her chest felt tight. She could not breathe.

How could Fu Tingyu stand by as his wife nearly devolved into a guilt-wracked panic?

“Chao Yan did those things of his volition. He did not ask for recognition, nor did he explain himself. Anyone would have misunderstood the situation under similar circumstances. What’s the use of pinning the blame on my wife now?”

“There’s no use blaming her, you say? Hah! Master may have chosen silence, but that doesn’t mean I need to do the same. She is not worthy of him; she never will be.” Yin Shi collapsed on the ground, utterly spent. There was nothing more he could say.

Qin Shu gripped her husband’s hand tightly, signalling him to stay silent.

Fu Tingyu frowned in dissatisfaction.

She turned to Yin Shi and said, “Let’s continue to look for Chao Yan. We will find him.”

Yin Shi looked up. His eyes were red with anger. “If it weren’t for you, Master would never have ventured off alone!

Qin Shu did not know why Chao Yan would leave unescorted.

Was it because he lost a day of her company?

“Why did he leave alone?” She could not help but ask.

“Why did he leave?” Yin Shi sneered. “He left because of you. Master has fought death at every turn, living for your sake. Yet, even you left him. What more does he have to live for?”

Qin Shu could not understand. Why could he not live without her?

He wasn’t one of those crazy men or women who could not live without love, was he?

Yin Shi pitied his master. How could he love a woman so much that he vowed to bury his whole family with her at the tender age of eighteen when the said woman cared so little for him?

A chill gripped her, and her legs grew weak. Fu Tingyu sensed something wrong with his wife and managed to catch her in time as she crumpled like a puppet with its strings cut.

A million thoughts raced in her mind.

She did not know that she had always been Chao Yan’s pillar of support.

Neither did she know why he would see her as such.

What was so special about her that persisted for so long, toeing the line between life and death?

“Miss Qin… Just go. Whether we find Master or a pile of his remains, it does not matter. None of these things has anything to do with you. You never cared for him when he was alive, so why bother pretending to care when he’s probably dead?” Yin Shi spoke softly, but his words rang like the toll of bells in Qin Shu’s ears.

Qin Shu felt like she had been run over by a truck. Guilt, regret, and pain coursed through her – a noxious cocktail that seared her limbs and rent her bones. The pain was unimaginable, and it did not fade with time. Instead, it grew more intense.

“I haven’t found him yet. How can I leave?” Determination rang true in her voice.

Yin Shi sneered, “Let’s forego the niceties, Miss Qin. I asked you to treat my master better, but you never did. There’s no need for you to continue with this charade of yours. You killed him.”

Qin Shu was struck momentarily speechless. Yin Shi had said something to that effect in the past, but she never took him seriously. She felt that Chao Yan, as the head of the Crimson Sand Organisation, was Fu Tingyu’s sworn enemy and, therefore, could not be a good person. She had allowed outside prejudices to tint her vision of reality, and that realisation broke something in her.

Fu Tingyu could not stand it anymore. Yin Shi’s every word was a knife stabbing his wife’s heart, poking holes into her already weak mental state. He pulled Qin Shu into his arms, holding her possessively, his onyx eyes glaring hatefully at Yin Shi, “In that case, we’ll take our leave.”

Qin Shu grabbed the collar of her husband’s suit, protesting, “Fu Tingyu.”

Fu Tingyu looked at his wife, whose were red and puffy. Crystalline tears threatened to fall if she so much as blinked.

It was almost too much for him to bear.

“We’re not welcome here. What is the use of us staying? Can you stop someone bent on thinking the worst?”

Qin Shu’s grip on Fu Tingyu’s collar slackened. When she looked up at him, tears streamed down her face. “I-I… I wronged him. He’s done so much; he did it all for me. H-How can I walk away when I-I know he’s missing?”

“You’ve already done your best. If you stay, he might not return, knowing you’re here. He blocked your number. If that isn’t saying something, I don’t know what is! It proves he wants nothing to do with you here on out,” Fu Tingyu argued.

Qin Shu was stunned. Did Chao Yan block her number because he was determined to sever all ties with her?

Yin Shi piped up, his tone harsh and menacing, “It is as he says. You should leave, Miss Qin. Master does not want to see you. While you remain, he will never show himself. He promised he would never appear before you again.”

Fu Tingyu hugged Qin Shu tighter. “Let’s go. Xiao Jiu is worried about you.”

Qin Shu clenched the gauze in her hand.

Chao Yan did not want to see her.

If she left, would he come back?

“May I ask a favour of you, then? If you find Chao Yan, please let me know. I also have a few photos on my phone that I would like you to give him.”

Qin Shu took out her phone and sent the photos taken at sunrise to Yin Shi.

Yin Shi held his phone and looked at the photos Qin Shu sent. Due to the strong light, his master’s face appeared indistinct.

Qin Shu took Yin Shi’s silence as agreeing to her request.

Fu Tingyu led his wife away.

There was another reason why Qin Shu agreed to go back. A part of her memories was sealed away, and she wanted to retrieve them.

If her father could wipe her memories so easily, it would be child’s play for him to help her recover them.

She wanted to remember the things between her and Chao Yan.

–

Feng Yi, two days later…

Fu Tingyu returned to the President’s manor with Qin Shu. Xiao Jiu was the first to run out and throw himself into Qin Shu’s arms.

“Mommy, I missed you.”