[BL] Debut in Interstellar After Retiring as Grim Reaper-Chapter 254 - 252: Forgotten Heart

Chapter 252: Forgotten Heart

In the end, Qin An didn’t say anything about his discovery to anyone.

He really couldn’t bring himself to speak this time. If this was him before he will just be direct and won’t consider anyone’s feelings, but as he spent his time as a human he had long been changed.

He began contemplating about the consideration of fulfilling the souls’ wishes, whether because they did something wrong or not. Unlike when he encountered souls that were devoured by resentments that he would just merely use his powers to overpower them— never listened to every reason that they had before sending them out. Only just putting labels on souls to depend whether they are worth his time or not.

Right now, Qin An believes that every soul has the right to have the chance to be heard. The back stories about their remaining hatred and unfulfilled wishes that caused them to stay and never at peace.

He thought of Nan Xing again. Can a child handle this? If she were to be exposed to all the dangers of this job, then what about the stories that she will hear and see right in front of her?

Death will always accompany them through this journey. Thus there will be endless cries, despair and pain, how can he let a child live with it?

How cruel is it for a child to see the darkest color of the world that she’s truly in?

****

Over the time when they were given a chance to take a break inside the training camp, while everything seems to go back to normal, Qin An notices some change within the trainees towards him. It was very subtle but he could somehow feel some secret glances that they always gave him.

He could feel curiosity and even scrutiny from them. He knew why though. The Marshal and his team just went there right after the war to ask for him. He Li and others were supposed to go to the President but how come they rushed to him? Or if it is, why him? When they seemed to have no connection at all except for He Yan?

What is his identity for the Marshal himself to act like that?

Unfortunately even though they are full of curiosity no one dares to ask him because earlier after Qin An was taken, the soldiers that were left behind immediately asked everyone to sign a confidentiality agreement not to say anything about what happened. They could only hold themselves but still couldn’t help but look at the young man several times.

About the competition, the company had fortunately gathered the points needed before it ended and decided to conduct after Qin An returned. Thus after a short conversation between Qian Jin and others, an announcement had been made.

For this round duo, the pair who received the highest vote was unexpectedly Chen Wei and Sheng Yan. Between the trainees, these two had been under personal issues going on. Chen Wei was not always chosen because of his past attitudes being arrogant and rude towards the mentors and his teammates whereas Sheng Yan was still caught in the spotlight from the Sheng family scandal.

Thus they are actually the duo that was likely to get the least votes that day. Who would have thought that it was not?

When it was announced, there was silence among the trainees that made Chen Wei’s expression turn black on the spot, yet unlike in the past where he will surely be outraged by this treatment, he remained silent instead.

There was no mocking and no arrogance that he once had when the competition started. Everyone was surprised but since the young man himself didn’t say anything, they could only turn blind eye and pretend that that didn’t happen.

For the second was Shen Lou and Han Suwen, third was Gu Yijin and Jiang Mo, fourth was Qin An and Nan Moyi, so on and forth.

Right now, the global voting begins again outside for the next elimination and while they’re waiting the company decided to give them a day off and rest first in two days.

However Qin An was really not in the mood to enjoy this time. He was still contemplating hard and deep for this complex situation that he didn’t know he was often seen in daze and absent-minded.

This worried his friends around him but couldn’t say anything out of respect. They are just silently observing him and accompanying him from time to time until he himself would open up.

And fortunately, that time really came.

It was also during when it was Nan Moyi who was accompanying him that when Qin An finally made up his mind to talk, he was with the exact timing and right person to ask for.

"If one of your siblings decides to enter the military, will you let them?"

Nan Moyi was stunned by his sudden question. They were in the resting lounge area and were just sitting quietly when the young man suddenly broke the silence and asked this.

But what did he ask? Will he let his younger sibling enter the military?

Nan Moyi thought about this actually in the past. Their parents were their role models. Seeing their heroic deeds they are naturally driven by that act of service too. That’s what his other younger brother Nan Mohuai had wanted, to be a soldier just like them.

But ever since that tragedy happened inside their family, Nan Moyi had seen him go wilted, as if all the passion inside his heart died too together with their parents.

From all his three younger siblings, he was actually more worried for him. While they just stayed in grief and loneliness, Nan Mohuai’s feelings turned to resentment and hatred instead.

He began hating the thought of being someone in the family who chose the world over them. He doesn’t want any of what’s left behind to go to the same paths as their parents that made them like this, full of helplessness and powerlessness. 𝒻𝑟ℯℯ𝑤𝑒𝑏𝑛𝘰𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝘮

Since then, Nan Mohuai buried that ambition and just became interested in education instead. He took the course for education for children and even his temperament changed too. He was no longer the passion-driven and courageous second in the family but his temperament went softer and tender.

In their daily lives, he was more like acting a mother from taking care of the house and to the other siblings.

Nan Moyi knew that until now there was still a shadow of trauma that was left behind inside that tough-looking brother of his but just forcing himself to forget that and be another person.

If one day he wants to return, will he agree? Can they take the possibilities of him fighting against the enemy and having the risk of losing him?

"I actually don’t know," he admitted to the young man. "But in the family, each of us learned to forget what we really wanted to help the family." A small smile appeared on his lips as he remembered how they helped each other to build their home again.

Even with the help of the military, it was still tough so they decided to find jobs to support the family.

They all left behind the ambition they wanted to be. Him on the stage, Nan Mohuai as a soldier, Nan Mofeng as a mechanical weapon designer and even his sister Nan Xing showed interest in medicine but chose to just stay quiet and just pass the school very ordinarily in fear of causing financial trouble inside the family.

All of them wanted to serve the world in different ways but the pain of their parent’s death consumed them. Fear and anxiety was replaced and they could only force themselves to forget about it.

It’s not just Nan Mohuai, if any of his siblings really wanted to go back on that childhood dream, can he accept it?

"I’m afraid that they would get hurt in any way," he sighs softly. "But seeing them forcing themselves to turn their back to what they wanted to be hurts even more. It’s like seeing them losing themselves— although not death but wouldn’t that be just like a living dead?"

He looked at Qin An gently. "You know, what I’ve realized after joining this competition is the happiness that only I can feel after being on the stage. It’s not the joy of being with family or friends but the satisfaction of doing what you love no matter what happens."

"If reclaiming those dreams means that, I will."

*****