[BL] Debut in Interstellar After Retiring as Grim Reaper-Chapter 258 - 256: Ironic

Chapter 256: Ironic

"I’m sorry..." The whole venue went silent when they heard Han Baiwei’s unexpected apology to Han Suwen.

Like Chen Wei, the young man’s expression is far from what they always see on their faces. There was no longer the usual arrogance and superiority about the background that they always been proud of and instead, their temperament drastically changed into much calmer and a genuine softness for the people around him.

It seems that what they experience inside the competition removed all the bad behavior that they used to have. The question is, is all this true?

"I know some of you won’t believe me but I want to say how badly I want to apologize to him. Ever since we were a child, I thought his mere presence was something that destroyed my family. Honestly I hated him for that. So everyone saw how rude I was and treated him badly." A bitter smile flashed on Han Baiwei’s face.

He knew that others would treat his words today as pretentious and maybe just want to gain sympathy because he’s eliminated. Are they thinking that he was doing this because he wanted Han Suwen to be wronged again?

Han Baiwei knows that what others’ impression of him is too hard to break but he really thought about his actions. Over time he realizes that it was really not Suwen’s fault. There were trainees here who had the same situation as him wherein their father had an illegitimate son, but unlike his family, there was no resentment around them. Their family is fine together which was something he couldn’t understand.

How could you bear to accept someone who destroyed your family? That was what he asked directly. And that trainee simply said that it was not the illegitimate child’s fault.

It was not his fault that he was born from a mistake and didn’t even mean to destroy the original family. It may be just unfortunate for him to have a parents that did something shameless but that was not their choice to be born that way. If a person can decide his family, why choose to be in that situation, right?

If someone’s at fault, it should be the people who made mistakes. It should be their father who chose to cheat and to the mistress who messes with the family.

Han Baiwei spent countless nights trying to understand that, and as he observed Han Suwen from afar, he saw how he treated other trainees, particularly Qin An and He Yan.

Unlike his sharpness to other people, Han Suwen seemed to have a soft spot for those two. He always liked to be close to Qin An and tolerated him every time, even though he constantly teased He Yan, he could clearly see the rare tenderness in his eyes.

Han Suwen is clearly treating them as his younger brothers.

Unlike him.

Han Baiwei started feeling something strange growing inside him as he constantly saw them hanging together. Every time he saw their smiles, a small pang of ache would rush inside him, making his heart stings. Why? He couldn’t understand his feelings.

Is it still the same hatred? No. He admits that he can no longer feel the same hatred as he felt in the past. There were no bad feelings anymore. Then what is it?

Han Baiwei’s thoughts floated for a time until he couldn’t bear it. He went to Nan Moyi who had many siblings and the oldest among them. Maybe he can answer it.

And what he answered just left him dumbfounded.

Nan Moyi said it was jealousy.

Jealous that Han Suwen is treating others like that when it was him who’s his blood-related brother. When they were supposed to be the closest one among everyone and all the fondness for others was originally to be him before them.

Han Baiwei couldn’t believe what he heard. Jealousy? Why? Why would he even feel that?

"Simply because you wanted Suwen to be your brother. You felt envious of Anan and Yanyan because you wanted to be treated like that too."

Those were Nan Moyi’s direct words to him that he couldn’t just process. Him?! Envying them for having Han Suwen’s attention?

Was he really feeling that way... because he wants him to treat him that way too? He couldn’t just process that information too fast because of how contrasting he felt in the past.

Han Baiwei was even in denial. Maybe it was just his little pride or whatever but he couldn’t accept that feeling too easily. And that’s when one night, he dreamed about when they were a child.

He didn’t reject him on that dream. He didn’t try to isolate or do bad things to Han Suwen— even their relationship was great.

He saw how the young man smiled at him like how he gave others, how he looked at him with a fondness that inexplicably made his heart beat quicken.

And Han Baiwei just saw himself calling the latter— "Brother!"

After that he just woke up still feeling dazed. Is he out of his mind? Why? Why?!

Ironically, the person he hated was now the brother that he actually wanted.

But how could he mend some things when he felt that it’s just too late now? Han Suwen won’t forgive him and the family. There are some things that they didn’t tell him but he saw how everyone treated the young man which even he contributed, so how could he accept him?

Maybe never, right?

Han Baiwei was instantly discouraged and was awkwardly avoiding Han Suwen. He just thought of distancing himself to think but when he saw how the young man didn’t even care and acted nothing, he felt a growing determination inside him.

Why doesn’t he just try it?

Maybe... maybe he will accept him? Maybe it’s not too late?

Maybe they can be brothers?

That night when he told the latter that he would do his best so the family wouldn’t do anything to him, Han Suwen didn’t believe him. Was it because it’s so unbelievable? But he can change! He really can!

When he promised that he would help him to cover the truth about Han Suwen’s visit to his mother, he meant it. He would block the family and ask them not to bother them anymore.

Han Suwen might not know but he can because mother and father would listen to him!

... That’s what he foolishly believed.

Because right when the elimination round ended and the eliminated trainees were picked up by the family, Han Baiwei was greeted not by a concerned mother but someone that he hadn’t seen.

Her true colors.

He was saying goodbye to the other trainees when he saw his mother walking towards him. He quickly ran and was about to give her a hug when a loud slap suddenly rushed on his face.

"!!!" That loud resounding slap echoed the whole room making the crowd feel silent.

Meanwhile Han Baiwei held his aching cheek as he stared at his mother with horror. He couldn’t believe what she just did.

Did that really happen? Did his mother actually hurt him? And even right in front of everyone! Han Baiwei was truly in disbelief but the pain on his face was real.

So he asked her with a grievance. "M-Mom, what are you doing—"

"Are you stupid?!" Mrs. Han’s usual gentle-like flower face in front of everyone was nowhere to be seen at this moment. Her face was full of lividness and anger as she looked at her own child.

But Han Baiwei couldn’t understand. Did she hear his apology to Han Suwen that’s why she’s reacting this way? He knew her hatred was deep but he didn’t want her to misunderstand the young man anymore.

Maybe if he could explain—

"Why didn’t you outshine that bastard?! Why was he on the top while you’re out?!"

*****