[BL]The Hero and his Party Won't Let Me Go-Chapter 167: Ch : Inner Conflict

"Don’t say things like that, Companion Shuu. The kids might be scared of me right now, but it is because they do not know me very well. I am sure they will come to like me once they get to know me a little better..."

Lady Canarie smiled at Shuu as she said these words. Her confidence shone through her eyes, and she kept her attention trained on the kids.

Shuu noticed her attention, and usually, it would not have been something he paid mind to. But today was different.

Not only were his nerves fried due to stress, but the lack of sleep these past few days was beginning to catch up with him as well.

So Shuu ended up pulling the kids close to himself and gave Lady Canarie an almost strained smile.

"I am sorry, but I will have to ask you to leave now. We should also start heading back inside."

Shuu told the two before he bowed and left the scene.

It felt... a lot like he was running away from a fight, but that was not the case. This was a tactical retreat... Yes, that was it.

The kids gave him a concerned look, but they did not say much to him, and Shuu was thankful for that silent support. It gave him enough strength to keep going, even when everyone else looked at him with curious and searching eyes.

Being in his room was the only way to stay away from those looks, and that was what Shuu did. He even called for dinner to be brought to his room.

And that fueled even more fire inside the imperial palace.

_____

"It seems like Shuu decided not to attend dinner tonight. He also looks a little gloomy these days. Do you have any idea what is going on with him, Danielle?"

Prince Yunn asked his fiancée at the dining table. As someone who kept the imperial castle under her tight control, she was the perfect person to direct such questions to.

"Oi-! I know. The guards are saying that Companion Shuu is trying to keep out of sight these days because he’s realized that he’s not good enough for Emperor Kaiden. But I don’t have that problem. Does that mean I am the right match for our emperor?"

Lady Canarie spoke up before Princess Danielle could even plan out what to say to her fiancé. And her carefree words caused Princess Danielle to give her an annoyed look.

"That is not what is going on. Shuu is just tired these days since he’s going through some... personal matters. I decided to stay out of it for now and wait until Shuu decides to ask me for help."

Princess Danielle tried to diffuse the situation as much as she could, but she could tell that it was of no use.

Prince Yunn might be much more easygoing than his brother, but that did not mean he was a pushover.

He could see and make his own decisions regarding what was happening, and Danielle knew that he already had all the information about what was going on in the imperial castle.

Prince Yunn’s words had been spoken as a test for her and Canarie.

’But so what if he knows? As long as he does not act on his knowledge and allows us to do what we want, none of it matters, right?’

Princess Danielle decided to keep a tighter eye on her surroundings to make sure no trouble would come her way. But she was not going to do the same for Canarie. She needed to learn her place, as well as how to be vigilant.

__________

It was night, but sleep eluded Shuu. His eyes were wide open as he stared at the ceiling of his room.

Caelis and Rin slept soundly around him, and the sound of their breathing made Shuu feel relaxed. His body sank deeper into the mattress as he shifted slightly.

But even that was not enough sleep to claim him.

After tossing and turning for some time, Shuu decided to get up and walk around a little. He carefully extracted himself from the bed and stretched his body to get rid of any lingering stiffness or drowsiness.

Once he was ready, he decided to take a small walk around the imperial castle.

It was a moonless night, and the world felt dark. The only sources of light were the small lamps around Shuu that lit up the hallway. Shuu followed their glow and allowed his feet to take him wherever they wished.

Finally, he reached the garden and sat down on the slightly damp bench.

The silence felt suffocating. It brought back memories he wanted to forget. Shuu felt like he was being crushed under the weight of this world.

"Ah, this silence feels nice."

Shuu spoke aloud. He hoped that it would help convince him and somehow change his feelings to make it true.

But his voice made Shuu feel even lonelier than before. He closed his eyes and relaxed his body, but his own thoughts threatened to consume him.

’Do you truly deserve to relax? Especially when you still have so much left to do? You have a duty toward Caelis and Rin... you need to keep them safe... But are you sure you will be able to do that?’

Shuu felt a gasp escape his mouth as soon as he registered these words.

They sounded so loud and clear that he snapped his eyes open to look around and see who had spoken.

But he was the only one there, and the familiar voice was his own, asking Shuu questions he would rather not answer.

"I... will protect the kids. I do not have another choice. I will-"

’Do you truly not have a choice? You have a lot of choices. You can leave the kids to someone much more capable, or you can beg the goddess for protection. If you think about it... aren’t we the biggest danger to those kids right now?’

The voice inside Shuu asked, and he shook his head.

"I am not..."

’Are you not? Are you sure about it?’