Contract Marriage: I Will Never Love You-Chapter 56: Six Weeks

Sarah

I sit on the edge of my bed. The clock on my nightstand reads 9:17 AM. Josh will be here in a few minutes.

I smooth my hands over my blouse. I’ve kept my makeup minimal, just enough to hide the shadows under my eyes from another restless night.

Matthew didn’t come to bed. After dinner and my call with Josh, he disappeared into his study.

He can sulk all he wants, but I won’t be bothered by it.

I place my hand on my still-flat stomach, feeling the barely-there firmness beneath my palm. "Just us today," I whisper.

The distant sound of tires on gravel pulls me from my thoughts. I stand, gather my bag and phone, and make my way down the stairs.

The foyer is empty, sunlight streaming through the stained glass panels of the front door. I reach for the handle, but a voice stops me.

"You’re really going with him."

Matthew stands at the entrance to the living room.

"My appointment is at ten," I say, my voice steady despite the hammering of my heart. "So yes, I am heading out now."

"With Josh," he adds.

I adjust the strap of my bag on my shoulder. "Yes, with Josh. You made it clear you weren’t interested. You can still change your mind and come with me."

Matthew takes a step toward me, then stops as if hitting an invisible barrier. "Sarah—"

The doorbell rings, interrupting whatever he was about to say.

"Well, I better go. Don’t want to be late," I say and hurried to open the door.

Josh stands on the porch, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket, a relaxed smile on his face.

"Morning," he greets. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," I reply, stepping outside.

Josh opens the passenger side door for me, and I slide in, grateful for the gesture. As he rounds the car, I let out a slow breath, forcing myself to relax.

"So where are we going?" he asks as he starts the engine.

"To the clinic," I reply.

Josh’s face contorts with worry. "The clinic? Are you sick?"

I smile wryly. "No, I am not sick. I am pregnant."

Josh’s head jerks slightly as he turns to look at me, his brows knitting together in surprise.

"Pregnant?" he repeats.

I nod, my fingers absently brushing over my stomach. "Yeah."

"Wow, Sarah. That’s great. Congratulations!" he says. "I bet Matthew is thrilled."

A bitter laugh escapes me before I can stop it. I glance out the window, watching the scenery blur past. "Thrilled isn’t exactly the word I’d use."

Josh frowns. "What do you mean?"

I let out a slow breath, pressing my fingers against my temples. "He’s... complicated. Distant. It’s like he doesn’t know how to react. Or doesn’t want to."

Josh is quiet for a moment, his expression unreadable. "That doesn’t make sense."

I swallow hard. "I Know. Don’t worry about it."

Josh gives me a sidelong glance as he navigates the winding road leading to town. "I’m trying not to worry, but you look exhausted."

I stare at my hands folded in my lap. "I’m fine."

"You keep saying that," he says quietly. "But I don’t think you are."

The gentle concern in his voice nearly breaks me. I blink rapidly, fighting back tears that seem determined to fall. I will not cry. Not today.

"It’s complicated," I finally say. "Matthew and I... we’ve been going through some things."

Josh nods, keeping his eyes on the road. "You don’t have to explain. But you should tell me when you are ready. I am here for you."

I nod silently, looking away.

When we finally arrive at the clinic, I let him escort me inside.

The waiting room is quiet, save for the low hum of conversation and the occasional rustle of magazine pages.

I check in at the front desk, my fingers tightening around the strap of my bag as the receptionist types in my information. Josh stands beside me, his presence steady. I wonder what Matthew is doing right at this moment.

"You okay?" he asks under his breath.

I nod, but my stomach twists.

Minutes stretch into what feels like hours before a nurse finally calls my name. I stand, smoothing my blouse, and glance at Josh.

"Thank you for being here," I say.

"Take care, Sarah. I will be here waiting," he says.

I offer him a small, grateful smile before following the nurse down the hallway. The walls are painted in soft, muted colors, meant to be calming, but my nerves are anything but.

The exam room is quiet, save for the rustling of paper as the nurse jots down notes on her clipboard. She asks me a few routine questions before instructing me to wait for the doctor.

As soon as the door clicks shut behind her, the silence becomes suffocating. I take a slow breath, pressing a hand against my stomach.

I wish Matthew were here.

I hate that I wish that.

I hate that even after everything—his distance, his coldness—some part of me still wants him to care.

A soft knock interrupts my thoughts, and the doctor enters, offering a warm smile. "Good morning, Sarah. How are you feeling?"

I force a smile. "A little nervous, I guess."

"That’s completely normal," she assures me as she pulls on a pair of gloves. "We will do a physical exam to determine how long you’ve been pregnant. Are you ready?"

I nod, though my throat feels tight. "Yeah. Let’s do it."

The doctor moves efficiently, explaining each step as she goes. I try to focus on her words, on the sterile scent of the room, on anything but the gnawing ache in my chest.

"Based on your last period and what I see here, I’d estimate you’re about six weeks along," she says, offering a reassuring smile.

Six weeks.

I exhale slowly, my hand instinctively resting on my stomach. It feels more real now—more than just an idea.

"You’re doing great," the doctor continues. "We’ll schedule your next appointment and go over prenatal care, but everything looks good so far."

"Thank you," I whisper.

~-~

Josh stands as soon as he sees me, his eyes scanning my face.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

I nod and manage a small smile as I hand him the ultrasound picture. "Everything’s fine."

Josh studies the image for a moment before his gaze lifts to mine. "Sarah, that’s amazing."

I exhale slowly. "Yeah. It is."

He hesitates. "Do you want to go get some lunch?"

I shake my head. "No, I think I better go home."

"And do what? Come on, Sarah. We hadn’t been able to catch up properly since I got back. So how about it? Spend some time with me and you can talk to me more about Matthew," Josh insists.

I hesitate, my fingers tightening around the ultrasound picture. Part of me wants to retreat home and curl up in bed. But another part that feels unbearably alone—wants to take Josh up on his offer.

"Alright," I say finally, exhaling. "Lunch sounds good."

Josh grins. "Great. There’s a little café not far from here. I think you’ll like it."

We head to his car, and as he drives, I glance down at the ultrasound again. The tiny speck on the image represents so much more than I can put into words. A new life. A terrifying, beautiful change.

Josh pulls into a parking lot outside a quiet café with large windows and hanging plants by the entrance. It’s cozy, welcoming. Exactly what I need right now.

Once inside, we settle into a booth near the window, and a waitress brings us menus. I skim the options, but my appetite is nonexistent. Josh notices.

"You should eat something," he says gently.

"I know," I murmur, setting the menu down. "I’m just... distracted."

"By Matthew?" he guesses.

I press my lips together. "By everything."

Josh leans back in his seat, watching me carefully. "Sarah, talk to me. What’s going on with him?"

I let out a slow breath. "He just... he really hates me."

Josh frowns. "Hates you? What are you talking about? You are married to him. You’re carrying his baby."

"Yeah," I say bitterly.

Josh’s jaw tightens. "Tell me why, Sarah. You deserve better than that."

I stare down at my hands. "I don’t know what I deserve anymore."

Josh reaches across the table, resting his hand over mine. "You deserve someone who won’t make you question your worth. And if Matthew isn’t that person, then maybe it’s time to figure out what you really want."

I swallow hard, looking out the window. I wish it were that simple.

But nothing about this is simple.

Not Matthew.

Not this baby.

Not me.

Maybe I should tell Josh what happened after all.