Contract Marriage: I Will Never Love You-Chapter 63: It’s Tiny

Present time...

Sarah

No.

I can’t do it. I can’t tell Josh about those days. He is one of the few people who still respects me now. If I tell him...

"Sarah?"

Josh’s voice breaks through my thoughts. "You kind of zoned out there."

I blink, coming back to the present. Josh is looking at me with concern, his brow furrowed.

"Sorry," I say, forcing a smile. "Just got lost in thought."

"You were about to tell me?" he prompts gently.

I take a deep breath. For a moment, I had been ready to confess everything—the manipulation, the desperation, the person I used to be. But the words die in my throat.

"I just... I wasn’t always a good person, Josh," I say instead, my voice barely above a whisper. "I did things I’m not proud of."

Josh reaches across the table and takes my hand. His palm is warm against mine, steady and reassuring.

"We all have regrets," he says. "Things we wish we could take back."

I look down at our intertwined fingers. "Mine are worse than most."

"Sarah, whatever happened with Matthew—"

"No," I interrupt, pulling my hand away. "You don’t understand."

Josh is quiet for a moment, studying my face. "Then help me understand."

I shake my head. "I can’t today. I am so tired. Would you mind taking me home?"

"But you barely ate anything," Josh protests.

I offer a tight smile, pushing the half-full plate away. "I just don’t have much appetite."

Josh stares at me. I can tell he wants to argue. But I also know he won’t. Not if I ask him not to.

He leans back in his chair, his jaw tight with unspoken questions. "Okay," he says quietly. "Let’s get you home."

~-~ fгee𝑤ebɳoveɭ.cøm

"Do you want me to come inside?" he asks as we reach our driveway.

"No. I’m okay," I lie.

He nods slowly, his hand gripping the steering wheel like he’s holding himself back. "Sarah..."

I glance over at him, already halfway out the door.

"I don’t care what you’ve done," he says. "Whatever you’re so afraid of telling me. I promise you, it doesn’t change the way I see you."

You wouldn’t say that if you knew.

If you knew how low I’d sunk.

If you knew I once lied about a pregnancy to trap someone whose only crime was that he didn’t like me.

But I don’t say any of that. I just nod once, quickly, and step out of the car.

"See you later, Josh."

I shut the car door gently behind me and walk to the house, not looking back.

Once inside, I lock the door and lean against it.

I lied. Manipulated. I tore someone’s world apart because I couldn’t handle being second best. And now? Now, I want to be seen as someone good. Someone worthy of love and respect.

But it wouldn’t happen easily, would it?

Josh said it wouldn’t change the way he sees me. But that’s only because he does not know everything.

"Back so soon?"

I look up, startled. Matthew is standing in front of me, his handsome face twisted into an unpleasant expression. He looks me up and down, then steps closer. "So, you really did it, huh? You went to the doctor’s appointment with...him."

I straighten up. "I asked you to come with me, but you didn’t," I say matter of factly.

Matthew scoffs. A dry, humorless sound. "Yeah, because I wasn’t about to sit there and pretend we are still playing house."

I flinch at his words but force myself not to look away. Not this time.

"You didn’t have to pretend," I say quietly. "You could’ve just shown up because it’s for our baby."

He steps even closer, close enough that I can smell his cologne.

"Don’t try to guilt me, Sarah," he sneered.

My chest tightens. "I’m not trying to guilt you. I’m just telling the truth."

Matthew’s eyes darken, his jaw clenched so tight I can see the muscle jumping beneath his skin. In one swift motion, his hands shoot out, fingers gripping my face roughly.

"Truth?" he hisses, his face inches from mine. "You want to talk about truth? Tell me, Sarah. Is Josh your latest target? Are you trying to trick him too so you can escape me?"

I try to pull back, but he holds me firmly, his fingers digging deeper.

"Wha...what are you saying?" I stammer.

His breath is hot against my face, eyes boring into mine with such contempt that tears spring to my eyes.

"I lost everything because of you," he says slowly. "My relationship. My peace. My freedom. And you think I will let you be happy with another man?"

A tear slips down my cheek, sliding over his thumb. "Let go of me," I whisper, my voice shaking. "You’re hurting me," I say louder, my hands coming up to grip his wrists.

He blinks as if coming out of a trance and releases me suddenly. I stumble back, my hand flying to my cheek.

Matthew takes a step back, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. For a moment, we just stand there, looking at each other.

"Six weeks," I say after a moment. "I am six weeks pregnant, in case you were wondering."

"I wasn’t wondering," he murmurs, avoiding my eyes.

"The doctor said everything looks good so far," I continue as if I don’t notice his contempt.

Matthew presses his lips into a thin line. "I don’t know why you are bothering to tell me these things," he snaps.

I sigh and reach inside my purse. His eyes don’t leave mine as I pull out the Polaroid.

I hold the small photo out between us, my hand trembling slightly. The black-and-white image is grainy.

Matthew stares at it, then up at me. "What am I looking at?"

"Our baby, Matthew." I try not to sound impatient.

Matthew takes the picture from my hand and squints at it. "I don’t see..."

"Here!" I chirp and put my finger on the small bean-like shape in the picture. "This right here is the baby."

He stares at the tiny, blurry shape like it’s some alien object.

"That?" he asks, his voice flat. "It’s tiny."

I swallow the knot in my throat. "It’s small now. But yes. That’s our baby."

"Hmph," he says.

"Anyway, I am going to shower. Join me for dinner later if you are done being a jerk. Or don’t," I say and stride away to the bedroom.

I close the bathroom door behind me, leaning against it as the tears finally come. My hands shake as I turn on the shower, cranking the heat until steam fills the small space.

I need to wash away this feeling, this heaviness that seems to press down on me from all sides.

I should be happy. I am going to be a mother. I had been dreaming about this since I was young, and now that it has finally happened...

No, I won’t let Matthew ruin this for me.

I may not deserve to be a mother, but now that I have this gift, I will cherish it. I will be happy for my child no matter what.